Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

Soapbox

C’mon Scale!

By

It’s no surprise that weight is a struggle of mine. Or maybe it is a surprise to you and for that, I say THANK YOU.

This week was pretty discouraging. I started Weight Watchers back in May because 1) the scale wasn’t budging and 2) I had a lot of upcoming travel, which for me can easily throw off my routine and equal weight gain.

I wanted some control back. So happily begrudgingly, I went back to Weight Watchers. I had great luck with it in college during my freshman year and dabbled in it a couple times after college. That sounded like a drug….I dabbled here and there…

So this week after being spot. on. with my meals and points, I hopped on that scale and saw I only lost .4 pound. Like, a little less than half a pound. Like, I take poops bigger than that.

You’re welcome.

I eat pretty darn healthy in general, so when I’m super, duper extra keeping-my-eye-on-the-prize-AND-SKIPPING-HAPPY-HOUR-WITH-COWORKERS and the scale still doesn’t move?! tumblr_mesl222Jcx1ql5yr7o1_400 Breathe. So instead, I put a smile on my face and looked at the group leader and said, “I’ll take it.” Because in all honesty, I will. I have to, have to, have to, have to, trust the process.

I’m a glutton for punishment with vicious cycles of feeling like I “should have” lost more and then giving up for the next few days. Then, when a moment of inspiration (read: Britney Spears’ abs) hits, I’m simultaneously gung-ho and pissed I have to begin at the starting line again. So, I’m taking it like this. If I hadn’t joined WW back in May, I most likely would still be at the weight I was, or worse, have gained weight.

The 5.9 pounds I’ve lost since May seems SO LAME. I know. I KNOW. There’s women and men in my groups that have lost 20 pounds since then! I don’t have a goal weight set in mind and perhaps that’s part of the problem. But the truth of the matter is, I just want to be feel more comfortable with myself.

I’m sitting here at my pool typing this. I hate myself too… And I don’t have a beach cover on. I’m sitting here with my thick, muscular thighs and stomach out for the whole world to see. I’m shockingly fine with it. But that’s been a process in itself. I want to feel more comfortable and healthy overall.

I know I’ve accomplished more than most with this body. Shit. I did a half-marathon this year, something I would have LAUGHED at after my first 5K years ago. I want to both respect that about my body and also be the best version of me. That probably means I have about 20-25 pounds to lose. Even then, I’m not the “ideal skinny”, but I’m okay with that. Just like I’m okay sitting here with a lady staring at my boobs.

Yes, they’re real, schnookums.

That’s what this whole process is about, right? Striving for better; a constant evolution of self. Keep on, keepin’ on. Gotta get back to it.

If I stop now, where does that get me? It gets me back in the dressing room doing the squatty jeans dance. You know? Suck, zip, squat. Suuuuuck. passout I can do this.

What motivates you to stay on track? What’s your biggest weight struggle? If you don’t have any, that’s cool. Here’s the door.

Girl, just be you.

By

So, I’m at a resort getting my nails done.

Ha. I just wanted to type that out to see how snotty it sounded.

Anyway, back to staying at a resort getting my nails done…

We celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary this past weekend by taking a quick staycation at the PGA National Resort and Spa. I’m a good wife  and thought we could go to a golf resort for my husband. I golf, but not enough to feel prepared to take on these courses. I know my limits- these things are beasts. Back to me being a good wife. I knew he’d like the golf resort even if it’s not one of my favorite things. Oh yeah. I’m sorta also taking off for Spain and Portugal in a month, so I’m not exactly deprived. But let’s play up this good wife thing, shall we?

So while the hubster was golfing I decided to get a mani/pedi. They have a spa with tons of treatments and massages but the thought of a stranger rubbing my body strikes fear in every corner of my mind. BUT WHAT IF THEY TOUCH MY BUTT?!

butt

I’ve got mad problems.

So a mani/pedi it is! I painstakingly chose my colors, went completely out of my realm and chose bright pink for my toes and bright coral for my fingers. Basically, I got the colors I always get. When the nail lady (I’m sure there’s a more endearing term than that but it’s all I got) came back she said, “Oh, you want that for your toes and that for your fingers? Two different colors?”

I’m thinking, “Lady, I can’t remember the last time my bra and panties matched. What’s your problem?”

I smiled nicely, not taking it personally, and said something along the lines of I usually choose bright colors.

She then continued, “Well usually women who have short finger nails go with a lighter color.”

Uhhhh…Not me.

I could feel the silent judgement. Whatever. I’m gonna rock my coral freakin’ nails.

When I was finished, she led me to a nice waiting area so I could try really hard for 10 minutes not to screw up my wet nails. The wet nail mime dance is always entertaining. Getting our keys out of our purse suddenly becomes bobbing for apples- we’re using elbows and teeth to not botch up our newly done nails.

While I was sitting waiting, a woman who has an “eyebrow station” was setting up for the day nearby. She immediately stopped and said, “Wow. I LOVE that color on your nails. Good choice.”

ARE YOU LISTENING JUDGMENTAL NAIL LADY?

I said, “Funny enough, I was just told that women with short nails usually go with lighter colors.”

Then, the nicest-eyebrow-lady-in-the-world-in-the-history-of-ever, without skipping a beat said,

“Girl, just be you!”

Damn straight.

photo 1
Happy 1 year, husband!

 

Anniveresary
Orrr…Happy AnniverEsary! I had to take a picture of it. I’m a copywriter!

What to Expect

By

This site was originally created to serve as a place to put my portfolio and contact information for my video, writing and marketing work. I wanted my site to be a place for potential job opportunities, even if it was in far-off places. Over time, I found that most people were coming to read my blog. (Thanks Google Analytics) And it's funny how life turns out because years later, I find myself in a totally different warm climate with palm trees and year-round sunshine…as a copywriter.  While I didn't specifically move to Florida for my current job, life seemed to mold into that direction. As it needed to be, perhaps.

I've talked a lot about how I'm revamping things and going to change the name of this blog. Are you excited?! Get excited. This is like peanut-butter-on-chocolate exciting.

So what can you expect from this place now? More focus.

Travel

If you had asked me 20 years ago what my favorite thing to do was, I'd tell you it was traveling. Today? Traveling. I've been to some pretty freakin' neat places, especially recently. I went to England (to get married no less, because that’s totally normal), Scotland, Thailand and Cambodia last year. Up next month: Spain & Portugal!

I want to tell you about them. Down to how I got there, how I afford it, where to go, where to stay, what to expect and more importantly why it's imperative to travel and see the world.

Cambodia Angkor Wat
In Cambodia at Angkor Wat

 

A Standard Life

My father got up at our wedding and talked about how I have always been and forever will be the girl who thinks outside the box. At first, I was like, what the heck, Dad?! I'm doing something so “normal” here for once, I'm getting married! But he's right. The last thing I want to be is a lemming and get caught up with the often miserable cycle of keeping up with the Joneses. If you've followed my blog in the past, you know I've been cornered before about my life choices and how they don't fit the mold.

The American standards of success are very different than mine.

"And she refused to be just like everyone else."
“And she refused to be just like everyone else.”

Health

I ran a freakin' half-marathon this year and you know what? I didn't lose a damn-flippity-fucking pound. I didn't gain any weight either. Same thing happened when I trained for and completed an Olympic-distance triathlon. What gives, dude?! I'm down 5.5 pounds total now and aim to keep that number dropping. Throwing that out there isn't easy for me, but damn, it makes it real and accountable. That feels good!

I want to blog about my goals, nutrition, workouts and overall body-image issues, especially for women.

Half Marathon photo bombing husband
Half Marathon photo bombing husband

Life Observations

I once wrote a post about leggings not being pants and apparently it resonated with you people. That's what you'll find here still. Like, for instance, when an older lady at our pool (did I mention we live in FL and there's lots of fun, old people) told my husband, who is in his 3rd year of medical school, that he should go into Psychiatry because…wait for it…”there's lots of nuts running around here.” I can't make this shit up.

So I'll blog about it.

News

I'm a news junkie. In a past life, I wanted to be Barbara Walters. I even went back to school for broadcasting. I enjoy knowing whats going on and get beyond frustrated with people who are purposefully apathetic to the world around them because their own world is that much more important. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but that's exactly how it's perceived when you have no idea what's going on in your own country, let alone across the world. It's not all doom and gloom. I fully believe in the human spirit. That's what you'll find here.

Women

Yes, my fellow lady-pals. I can't tell you how many times I've said if we just SUPPORTED each other this world would be capable of so freakin' much more. I'm no angel, but MAN (pun intended) some of you ladies are nasty, unsupportive, miserable people to one another. I don't get it, so I'm going to openly talk about it. Right here. The male ding-a-lings (pun intended) are welcome, too. We're not gender exclusive ‘round these parts (pun intended).

.

I’m also looking into having guest posts for any of the above subjects, even other subjects if someone so desires and I approve. Just hit me up. I'm sure this site will be ever expanding, but that's the game plan for now.

You'll find pretty consistent funny ramblings on my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter pages. Follow them. I'm a good time! Wait. That didn't come out right…

Friday Funny: Being Thankful Caroline-Style

By

 

If you access your Facebook account at all during the month of November, you know there is a trend where people will use their status to list something they are grateful for every day of the month. (You know, Thanksgiving.)  It’s intention is pretty innocent and sweet and if I weren’t such a cynical wench I would probably look past the sugar-filled statuses and realize that the world can always use a little more appreciation for the small things.

…but I’m a cynical wench.

Some of these statuses are quite vomit-worthy.  We’re clearly getting to the half-way mark of the month where people are realllllllly reaching into their gratefulness pockets:

Today I’m thankful for the person who cut me off on my way to work.  They made me realize I don’t want to be in such a hurried rush like them and possibly miss what is going on in the wonderful world around me.

Liar.  Admit it.  You totally wanted to punch the person in the face.  It’s okay.

So, in lieu bombarding your newsfeed everyday with statuses that will make you want to toss your cookies, I’ll tell you here about the things I’m thankful for.  Caroline-style.

Caroline is thankful for:

1.  I’m thankful I didn’t roll over in the middle of the night onto my cat’s vomit.  It was a lovely morning present.  Thanks, Bax!
2.  I’m happy the vomit stain came out of the bedsheets and didn’t get below the mattress protector.  Mmmmm.

3.  I’m grateful I haven’t caught Dengue fever from the outbreak here in Florida.

4.  I’m glad one of my BFF’s admitted she didn’t get a pedicure today because she hadn’t shaved her legs in 2 weeks.  Bless you child - we’ve all been there.

5.  I’m happy My Main Squeeze thinks wedding planning is one giant laugh too:

 

Happy (early) Thanksgiving, my beloved readers!

 

What inspires you?

By

It happens to all of us.  During our monotonous days and endless to do lists – our minds begin to wander.  We daydream of places we want to go or things that make us laugh. It happens.  And thank God it does!  Can you imagine our boring our lives would be without inspiration?  It keeps us going.

Lately, I’ve found inspiration in my (new) Florida surroundings. It’s still hard and often surreal to think that I live here…and that it’s October!

There’s no way it’s October…

It got me thinking about the things that inspire me.  I ran through inspirational figures to small everyday moments that left me smiling and humbled.

Buuuuuut basically, it all boiled down to the only thing I find inspirational on a Monday morning:

Don’t judge.

I could fill this post with the little things to the more poignant things that inspire me. But I want to hear from you!

What inspires you?

Friday Funny: Hilarious Commercials

By

I used to email my friends and family a Friday Funny newsletter that contained jokes or links to funny articles and videos.  Social Media sort of ruined that because they most likely had already seen or read the funny already.  See, there are disadvantages to social media – it totally ruins my stand up routine!

So, I thought I would bring back the Friday Funny and incorporate it here!

This week, let’s take a look at hilarious commercials.  Each commercial is only 30 seconds, so smiling won’t take up too much of your time!  And smiling is always worth it.  Smiling is my favorite.

Geico’s “Happier than…” campaign:

“I’m gonna stand up to her.”  “No you’re not.”  “I know.”

“Does your cauliflower have a big carbon footprint?”  “Melooooons!”

Well done, Geico. Simple.  Brilliant.  Hilarious.

BMW:

“Mummy, what is neu-ter-ing?”

 The Eagelman:

Okay, this one is unintentionally funny.  If you lived in the Chicago area during the early 90’s you surely remember this Eagleman commercial. (My pops lived in Chicago, that’s why I know this one.) It’s a classic.

“I’ve got something for yoouuuuuuu.”

Tell me what some of your favorite commercials are!  Also, if you have any ideas or funnies (is that a word…?) you want to send me for future Friday Funnies (there’s that words again…) just send them to my email here:

email

Happy Friday!