Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

Funny

The 411

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I guess I kinda forgot to mention that I took a blog sabbatical… Did I need to notify HR at Caroline Made This?

I’m here now, guys!

I will name just a (few) major things, in sequential order, that have been going on in the midst being absent in the blogosphere for a few weeks:

1)  Car-o-line got a new J-O-B.

Yeah, no biggie. I am now a copywriter at a marketing studio. Basically, I get to use my creative skills to come up with some fun copy, text, taglines, logos and mottos that (hopefully) convince you minions to take action or buy a product. You know, I’m using my love of creativity and writing and putting it into a nice paycheck. Ain’t no thang.  <insert cheering and tap dancing on a table here>  Note: I said tap dancing. Not lap dancing. I was never that desperate for money… Since I direct potential clients and employers to my website, this ol’ blog may have helped me get a job offer too – so THANK YOU, guys. Being a copywriter allows me the creativity-style I desire (with video production opportunities as well), utilizes my marketing experience and hones my writing skills, all while giving my career a more creative direction. I should put that on my LinkedIn profile somewhere, eh? We’re moving in to a new office soon that is close to the beach downtown. I’m not sure if that location will be a benefit or a hindrance to my work productivity. I’ll be able to see the beach from the office. Do you hate me? I sorta hate me…

 

2)  Wedding booked. Website completed. Video Save the Date sent.

Whew. Stuff just got real. I gave myself an internal deadline of having all of that completed by the first week in December. It was slightly foolish considering I was only a couple weeks into my new job, My Main Squeeze was in the middle of finals and unable to help, oh and…I like to sleep more than a couple hours a night. But I got it done on time and successfully completed all of the wedding crap. Yes. You read that read right. Listen, I’m super excited to marry My Main Squeeze. I’m just not a fan of the superficial, sometimes hurtful, process of getting there – so, if you want me to sugar coat how wonderful the wedding planning machine is…then you’re reading the wrong blog. We’re doing our own wedding thaaaang quite well. *thankyouverymuch* Perhaps if you all get good behavior stars in school today I’ll show you our entertaining website and video Save the Date that I produced. I think it’s super fun. And I’m totally objective.

 

3) My Main Squeeze successfully completed his first semester in medical school.

You read that right! My boo got through his first semester of an incredibly tough, rigorous program and passed with flying colors. They don’t make the process of becoming a doctor hard for just any ol’ reason…I’d say saving lives is pretty important. Am I glowing? I’m just super proud of him. Sure, his time to spend and help with things is super scarce, but it’s for the greater good. (Must repeat: It’s for the greater good.) He is now 1/8th of the way through medical school. Which would make him 1/12th of the way through medical school and residency if he chooses a specialty that is a 2 year residency. Yeah. I’m not thinking about that… I’m just super, super proud. If you know him personally, please tell him to stop doing his to-do list around the house and go sit by the pool and relax! He’s a pretty good guy, huh?

 

In all honesty, I had this particular post lined up to publish last Friday. But, I felt it was highly inappropriate to post considering recent events. Still trying to wrap my head around it. My two cents: Those things you are thinking, remember them. Change doesn’t happen quickly, especially with bureaucracy. Your actions and voices matter, whether you believe it or not.

So, on a lighter note, you can sleep soundly tonight because I have plenty of sweet posts up my sleeve for the near future. Just thought I’d fill you in on all of the fun things that have been taking up a majority of my time. Boo-yah.

Friday Funny: Being Thankful Caroline-Style

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If you access your Facebook account at all during the month of November, you know there is a trend where people will use their status to list something they are grateful for every day of the month. (You know, Thanksgiving.)  It’s intention is pretty innocent and sweet and if I weren’t such a cynical wench I would probably look past the sugar-filled statuses and realize that the world can always use a little more appreciation for the small things.

…but I’m a cynical wench.

Some of these statuses are quite vomit-worthy.  We’re clearly getting to the half-way mark of the month where people are realllllllly reaching into their gratefulness pockets:

Today I’m thankful for the person who cut me off on my way to work.  They made me realize I don’t want to be in such a hurried rush like them and possibly miss what is going on in the wonderful world around me.

Liar.  Admit it.  You totally wanted to punch the person in the face.  It’s okay.

So, in lieu bombarding your newsfeed everyday with statuses that will make you want to toss your cookies, I’ll tell you here about the things I’m thankful for.  Caroline-style.

Caroline is thankful for:

1.  I’m thankful I didn’t roll over in the middle of the night onto my cat’s vomit.  It was a lovely morning present.  Thanks, Bax!
2.  I’m happy the vomit stain came out of the bedsheets and didn’t get below the mattress protector.  Mmmmm.

3.  I’m grateful I haven’t caught Dengue fever from the outbreak here in Florida.

4.  I’m glad one of my BFF’s admitted she didn’t get a pedicure today because she hadn’t shaved her legs in 2 weeks.  Bless you child - we’ve all been there.

5.  I’m happy My Main Squeeze thinks wedding planning is one giant laugh too:

 

Happy (early) Thanksgiving, my beloved readers!

 

Friday Funny: 5 Twitter Accounts You Should Follow

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Tweet. Tweet.  Tweet.

Do you Twitter?  I mean, tweet.  Are you a twitter-er?  I mean, Tweeter.

By social media standards, I joined Twitter pretty late in the game a couple years ago.  I found I’ve enjoyed it way more than I thought I would.  I mean, where else can you simultaneously find out from CNN that Osama bin Laden was killed and also see a fantastic vegetable fajita recipe from Whole Foods?

If you’re not a part of the Twitter community, you should be…at the very least to simply laugh with (or at) the following accounts.

 

5 Twitter Accounts You Should Follow:

 

1.  Oprah reads the news –   @OprahReadsNews 

And you get a car.  And YOU get a car!  And YOU GET A CAR!  EVERRRYYYBODDDDY GETTTSSSS A CAAAAARRRRRRR!!

 

2.  A Milania parody – @TheFauxMilaniaG

Do you watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey?  No?  Oh.  Well neither do I…  But if I did, I would tell you about Teresa’s hysterical daughter Milania.  She’s an unintentional scene stealing diva and I love it.

 

3.  Kit – @blogdangerously

An annonymous blogger that says everything you all are actually thinking.  She’s a business woman with sass and a kick ass momma to boot.  Basically, you want to be her.

 

4.  The Next Martha – @TheNextMartha

If Martha Stewart had a fun-loving, hilarious, non-condescending sister…it would be her.  Plus, she loves Halloween.  So she’s a lady after my own heart.

 

5. Caroline @Caro9er

Shameless. plug.

 

 

Friday Funny: Hilarious Commercials

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I used to email my friends and family a Friday Funny newsletter that contained jokes or links to funny articles and videos.  Social Media sort of ruined that because they most likely had already seen or read the funny already.  See, there are disadvantages to social media – it totally ruins my stand up routine!

So, I thought I would bring back the Friday Funny and incorporate it here!

This week, let’s take a look at hilarious commercials.  Each commercial is only 30 seconds, so smiling won’t take up too much of your time!  And smiling is always worth it.  Smiling is my favorite.

Geico’s “Happier than…” campaign:

“I’m gonna stand up to her.”  “No you’re not.”  “I know.”

“Does your cauliflower have a big carbon footprint?”  “Melooooons!”

Well done, Geico. Simple.  Brilliant.  Hilarious.

BMW:

“Mummy, what is neu-ter-ing?”

 The Eagelman:

Okay, this one is unintentionally funny.  If you lived in the Chicago area during the early 90’s you surely remember this Eagleman commercial. (My pops lived in Chicago, that’s why I know this one.) It’s a classic.

“I’ve got something for yoouuuuuuu.”

Tell me what some of your favorite commercials are!  Also, if you have any ideas or funnies (is that a word…?) you want to send me for future Friday Funnies (there’s that words again…) just send them to my email here:

email

Happy Friday!

 

Pinterest? More like Makeyoufeelbaderest.

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So you know this thingy-ma-bob called, Pinterest?

It’s fascinating.  It’s brilliant.  It’s officially using up any time I have left.  You know, after I’ve checked my email, perused the news online, posted on Twitter, stalked on Facebook…

I’ve found some wonderful recipes that I’ve tried and crafts that I’ve created through this site. I mean, come on, I didn’t think of this stuff on my own:

But even if I’m not a mother or wife (don’t give me the *sad eyes* people…I know it may be shocking…but it’s okay and a choice right now to be neither…) I end up feeling like I’m totally incapable of giving a good gift, or making a dessert or *gasp* making my own homemade bathroom cleaner that smells like nectarine and mint and babies bottoms.

I meeeeeeeeeeeeeean.  Really, people?

Let me provide you with a few examples of the offending parties:

  1. I simply typed in “Baby Shower” into the Pinterest search.  This was the first image that showed up.  See the Rice Krispie rattles with various boy and girl color bows? See the rain clouds and rain drops? Showers? Get it? Baby…shower? I’m done.
  2. My dear friend made a similar centerpiece for a recent baby shower I attended.  It was awesome! It’s a friggin’ motorcycle! Made out of diapers and bottles and baby clothes!  She told me she saw it on Pinterest.  *shakes fist in the air* Damn you, Pinterest!  She’s a teacher.  That stuff is in their genes, right?                                                                   
  3. Yes, because my pantry looks EXACTLY like that.
  4. Because when I think of delicious tasting cup cakes…I think…HYDRANGEAS! Mmmmmm…

 

And you know what?  Some of you will actually go out and do the above projects.  And do them extremely well.

Shame on you.

Now follow me on Pinterest so I can be eternally annoyed at your creative genius:

 

Follow Me on Pinterest

 

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen on Pinterest?

She’s baaaaaaaaack.

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This website has been completed for quite some time.  Aside from losing most everything in the transfer a couple months ago and the miscellaneous changes I keep making…it’s been done.  I realize I casually breezed over that whole “losing most everything in the transfer” part but it was nothing that tequila couldn’t fix.

I’ve been struggling with how to jump back into this blog; how to begin blogging after a bit of a break while this site has been in a nice little redesign.  There were so many things I wanted to talk about but I didn’t know where to begin.  So I didn’t.

You see, so much has happened and we’re on the brink of some major, exciting changes that I couldn’t quite formulate what to say because I didn’t feel I could accurately describe it with my words.

And then last night while My Main Squeeze and I were cleaning out our filing cabinet, I had a bit of an epiphany.

I felt proud. Proud enough to mark my blogging starting point. Today.

<deep breath>

Some of you know that we’re packing up our things and moving over 1,400 miles away this summer.  My Main Squeeze is continuing his path of being an overachiever by starting medical school in Florida and I’m excited to explore more job opportunities that are more in line with my career goals. I’ll be happy to gush over how proud I am of him in future blog posts, don’t you worry.

So in the midst of packing and going through piles of old taxes, random receipts, carry-out menus and expired coupons in our filing cabinet…we found them.  THEM.  The “them” that was our struggle for the nearly 5 years we’ve been together.

We found:

  • Lay-off letters
  • Severance package offers
  • Job rejection letters
  • Job deferment letters (yes, they exist)
  • Medical school rejection letters
  • My valedictorian award after changing gears and going back to school
  • Medical school wait-list notifications
  • Internship opportunities that ended because of budget cuts
  • Failed website ideas
  • My grandma’s funeral program
  • Cover letters
  • General resumes
  • Job specific resumes
  • Demo reels
  • Brochures from medical schools in different countries

 

It goes without saying that many other things happen in life that can’t be placed into a file folder and shoved into a cabinet. Instead of having them define who My Main Squeeze and I are, which at times I’m quite positive they did, I felt a great sense of pride. I’m so proud of us for pushing through, even if the path wasn’t always defined.  I closed the final file folder and put my feet up on our coffee table, looked at My Main Squeeze and said, “Man, we’ve been through quite a lot.”

He smiled that half-smile I love so much, looked at me straight in my eyes and spoke so eloquently that it will stick with me forever:

“Duh.”