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Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Archives for July 2017

On Being Overwhelmed.

July 20, 2017 By Caroline Peterson

Generally, I have a lot on my plate. I can usually manage it like a rockstar. I know I take on (and accomplish) more than the standard 9-5 gal. Full-time copywriter, side-gig freelance writer, social media maven, website runner, in real life foot-to-pavement runner and then those international trips thrown in between. I do a lot.

But I’m still…comfortable.

Comfortable and unfocused.

There are changes going on behind the scenes and goals that I want to achieve in a certain period of time with myself and this site. I’m tired of just thinking “someday.” That means I need to narrow the To Do list. Narrow and focus. Focus and narrow. Rinse and repeat.

It’s uncomfortable being in the midst of shedding layers and choosing priorities. Priorities that, on the outside, may seem trivial, but lead to larger goals.

Priorities. It’s a crazy notion, right? How often do we look at our To Do list and assume everything is important and it all must get done? Then you get stuck in the vicious–but comfortable–cycle of paralysis.

You’re so paralyzed with the amount on your To Do list that you end up doing nothing because you surely don’t have enough time for all of it. You’re overwhelmed at the thought of it! So your To Do list usually ends up looking like you – pants-less on the couch watching Game of Thrones, bemoaning how much work you have to do and you just want a break.

Except that break takes days, months, even years.

Not this time, life! Not this time. 

I must remind myself, constantly, that even a small task or check mark off my list or priorities is a step in the right direction. However minuscule it is: watching a 10 minute webinar on improving Instagram engagements, trying a new way to edit my photos and meditating so I don’t hurt people, you know, normal stuff!

In fact, one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is simplicity at its best: Break down what seems overwhelming and start taking on the first tasks; one by one.

Seems fucking obvious, right? Well duh, just go down your To Do list and check off tasks. But how many times do we remember more tasks as we start accomplishing others? The list gets longer and soon enough we’re calling our husbands asking if he’d be cool if you just sold all of your stuff and moved to Hong Kong.

No? You don’t do that Just me? Cool.

Being overwhelmed can be crippling. It prevents actually changing. But, maybe, if you’re honest with yourself, that’s what holding you back anyway. Change.

That fickle beast: “Change.”

As my therapist says–omg, like, she goes to a therapist?–I’m a pretty damn resilient. That chaotic life I had as a kid and teenager, the ebbs and flows of a career, the roller coaster of the hubster’s med school, residency and now living apart.

Fun fact in resiliency: I’m essentially on my own island here in South Florida. Hubster 1400 miles away. Family, just as far away. Par-tay in Fort Lauderdale at Caroline’s place. Elderly neighbors and gossip at the pool included!

But, even as resilient as I am, change is still hard for me because change can involve failure. Failure is the scariest, guys! What if I try and fail? What if I try and they make fun of me? What if I try and lose money? Even odder, for reference, what if I try and succeed? (That can be scary, too!)

You know what’s scarier though? Never taking a chance.

Never being lump-in-your-throat, squirrels-in-your-belly, balls-on-fire nervous to finally have the audacity to unequivocally dare to be yourself. THAT’S scarier.

Now get up off your couch, put some pants on and check an item off your list. Let’s go, kiddos!

Filed Under: Confessions

New Cuba Travel Restrictions: Can You Still Go?

July 13, 2017 By Caroline Peterson

With the announcement of new travel restrictions to Cuba, many Americans are left wondering:

Can I still go to Cuba?

Yes. Maybe, sorta.

Super helpful, right?

As I stated back in the winter, the time to go is NOW. I’m actually sad that I was so correct about it. I can only offer you suggestions based on what I know now. Please be aware: Your decision to go or not, in the end, is up to you.

 

Things to do in Havana Cuba

Tourism Travel Was Always Banned

I think this is the biggest misunderstanding most people have. Even when we traveled to Cuba after Obama rolled-back restrictions, it was still against the law to travel strictly for tourism. As I stated, we had education activities planned out each day, ready to show any customs agent who may ask (but never needed to). We fell under the “people to people” educational trip.

“While tourism to Cuba is banned by federal law, the Obama administration had been allowing people to travel to Cuba and spend money as part of “people to people” educational trips for visitors who plan a full itinerary of educational exchange activities, though there had been little to no enforcement of these requirements.” Politico

New Restrictions

Once the new travel restrictions take effect, you will essentially need to avoid anything that is government run; this includes hotels, restaurants, stores, etc. Is it possible to avoid? Sure. Just makes it a bit tougher.

“While travel to Cuba won’t be banned completely, you won’t be able to support businesses directly controlled by the Cuban government, but rather only with small independent businesses. So you won’t be able to stay at big hotels, but you can stay in an Airbnb, casa particular, etc.” One Mile At A Time

We stayed at an amazing AirBnb, so we would have be “okay” under the new restrictions. But, it also looks like you will need to keep your receipts from everything for five years and have heavier documentation of your activities.

“The Trump administration is stepping up requirements on those sorts of trips, requiring a full-time schedule of activities that “enhance contact with the Cuban people, support civil society in Cuba, or promote the Cuban people’s independence from Cuban authorities, and that the travel must result in a meaningful interaction between the traveler” and Cubans, according to the draft. Travelers to Cuba will have to keep detailed records of all their financial transactions in the country for five years to make available to the Treasury Department if requested.”

Things to do in Havana Cuba

When Will This Happen?

The Secretary of Treasury was instructed to provide new rules 90 days after the presidential policy directive was issued. Trump issued his statement on June 16th. So technically speaking, this should happen around mid-September.

As One Mile At a Time stated, the US will have a tough time enforcing what people do there. But, it’s the fear of repercussions that will likely lead to less Americans going to Cuba. And man, I hate fear-based reasons not to travel to a country.

Would I Still Go To Cuba?

Today? Yes. After mid-September, I honestly can’t give a definitive yes or no answer until we see the new restrictions. It breaks my heart to say that because Cuba is such an incredible country.

One of my friends reached out to ask me this very question and I’ll tell you the same thing I told her: get your documents in order, book educational tours and activities for each day, plan on staying at an AirBnb and keep an eye on the news.

 

What do you think of the new travel restrictions? Do you plan on going to Cuba?

Filed Under: Cuba

Long Distance Marriage: 1-Year Check-in

July 5, 2017 By Caroline Peterson

I vividly remember the hubster finishing his first year of med school and thinking, “Woo. We’re a quarter of the way through it! Wait. Only a quarter…?” Back then, I had a tough time imagining what the next 3 years of med school would entail. Hint: It was a rollercoaster of stress, combined with small wins and big defeats, with the ultimate victory being the those 2 magnanimous letters: Dr. (And a boatload of student loan debt to boot too, but *sigh* we won’t talk about that.) The point is, we made it.

Long distance marriage living is sort of like that. So I guess, in a way, I’m thankful for those 4 years of med school to prepare us for these 4 years of an ER residency. Yuck! I never thought I’d say that.

Read our prior check-ins here:

  • How That Long Distance Marriage Thing Is Going
  • Long Distance Marriage: 6-Month Check-In

It hasn’t gotten easier.

I’m used to the new normal by now, and actually enjoy certain aspects to my time alone, but it’s still tough. The goodbyes are worse, especially if we’re in the middle of an argument. What? Never mind. No one ever argues, right?

We try to have our next time together planned before we actually say goodbye, but that’s not always possible with residency schedules. He’s been really great at picking up an extra shift or switching with other (awesome) fellow residents, so he can piece together a few days in a row together.


[On the top of the Coba Ruins in Mexico.]

Flexibility is key.

On average, we see each other every 3 weeks. The longest we’ve gone is 6 weeks, and neither of us realized it had been that long because we were both so nose-deep in work. By the time we realized it, we were already seeing each other in a few days.

He’s done the bulk of the traveling to South Florida, especially during the winter season. In fact, he was down here on a break for nearly 5 days, flew back up to Michigan for a meeting and flew back down to Florida on the same day, just to enjoy the rest of his break with me in the Sunshine State. #browniepoints

I put in some PTO and we’ll be headed to the other side of Florida for some rest and reflection, and maybe an umbrella cocktail or two.

A love/hate relationship attending events alone.

I actually tend to miss the hubster more when I’m around friends. Weird, right? I think it’s partly because I want him to share the same experience with me.

Now, attending local group meetings and races? I’m cool riding solo.

Keeping our eyes on the prize.

There are moments when the frustration of living 1400 miles apart is overwhelming. What a lot of people forget when they actually live with their partner, is those daily, small interactions are really important.

[This is how I started FaceTime after a bad day.]

Sure, we supplement it with funny FaceTime moments, like when I successfully installed a new drain in our kitchen sink and wanted to show off my accomplishment. Plus, we call each other every day and, much to the hubster’s chagrin, I ask him to choose a calling schedule when he’s on ER shifts because those day/nights shifts change each week and I like to avoid waking up grumpy pants or talking to a zombie. (Sometimes they are one in the same.)

But, on those overwhelming and upsetting days (or weeks), I often have to remind myself of our end goal. Him: focus on continuing learning and perfecting his doctor-thing; me: focus on my writing, this website, my career and traveling more. This time will fly by, like medical school eventually did.

[Good friends keep me sane.]

Haters gonna hate.

We’ve come across our fair share of confused looks when explaining to people we’re living apart temporarily while he finishes residency. I know it isn’t traditional, but what about the name of my site screams that I’m traditional?! Many people also have this misconception about earning mucho dinero once med school is done and how it’s my time to sit back and chillax as a doctor’s wife. If people only knew how little doctors earn during their residency and the real sacrifices we both have to make in order to make residency successful, they may not speak so fast. And what about me says I’m the stereotypical doctor’s wife? Psssh. For the time being, I’m the breadwinner, baby!

“If anyone tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s a millionaire walking around who invented the pool noodle.” Happy Independence Day, pals! 🇺🇸

A post shared by Caroline• Not Your Average Gal (@notaveragegal) on Jul 4, 2017 at 2:05pm PDT


Here’s to another successful 6 months until our next check in!

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