Generally, I have a lot on my plate. I can usually manage it like a rockstar. I know I take on (and accomplish) more than the standard 9-5 gal. Full-time copywriter, side-gig freelance writer, social media maven, website runner, in real life foot-to-pavement runner and then those international trips thrown in between. I do a lot.
But I’m still…comfortable.
Comfortable and unfocused.
There are changes going on behind the scenes and goals that I want to achieve in a certain period of time with myself and this site. I’m tired of just thinking “someday.” That means I need to narrow the To Do list. Narrow and focus. Focus and narrow. Rinse and repeat.
It’s uncomfortable being in the midst of shedding layers and choosing priorities. Priorities that, on the outside, may seem trivial, but lead to larger goals.
Priorities. It’s a crazy notion, right? How often do we look at our To Do list and assume everything is important and it all must get done? Then you get stuck in the vicious–but comfortable–cycle of paralysis.
You’re so paralyzed with the amount on your To Do list that you end up doing nothing because you surely don’t have enough time for all of it. You’re overwhelmed at the thought of it! So your To Do list usually ends up looking like you – pants-less on the couch watching Game of Thrones, bemoaning how much work you have to do and you just want a break.
Except that break takes days, months, even years.
Not this time, life! Not this time.
I must remind myself, constantly, that even a small task or check mark off my list or priorities is a step in the right direction. However minuscule it is: watching a 10 minute webinar on improving Instagram engagements, trying a new way to edit my photos and meditating so I don’t hurt people, you know, normal stuff!
In fact, one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is simplicity at its best: Break down what seems overwhelming and start taking on the first tasks; one by one.
Seems fucking obvious, right? Well duh, just go down your To Do list and check off tasks. But how many times do we remember more tasks as we start accomplishing others? The list gets longer and soon enough we’re calling our husbands asking if he’d be cool if you just sold all of your stuff and moved to Hong Kong.
No? You don’t do that Just me? Cool.
Being overwhelmed can be crippling. It prevents actually changing. But, maybe, if you’re honest with yourself, that’s what holding you back anyway. Change.
That fickle beast: “Change.”
As my therapist says–omg, like, she goes to a therapist?–I’m a pretty damn resilient. That chaotic life I had as a kid and teenager, the ebbs and flows of a career, the roller coaster of the hubster’s med school, residency and now living apart.
Fun fact in resiliency: I’m essentially on my own island here in South Florida. Hubster 1400 miles away. Family, just as far away. Par-tay in Fort Lauderdale at Caroline’s place. Elderly neighbors and gossip at the pool included!
But, even as resilient as I am, change is still hard for me because change can involve failure. Failure is the scariest, guys! What if I try and fail? What if I try and they make fun of me? What if I try and lose money? Even odder, for reference, what if I try and succeed? (That can be scary, too!)
You know what’s scarier though? Never taking a chance.
Never being lump-in-your-throat, squirrels-in-your-belly, balls-on-fire nervous to finally have the audacity to unequivocally dare to be yourself. THAT’S scarier.
Now get up off your couch, put some pants on and check an item off your list. Let’s go, kiddos!