Hard to believe a little over 6 months ago was one of the saddest days of my life. The one that consisted of waving goodbye to the hubster, quietly shutting the front door, silently sitting in my now emptier living room and crying, while simultaneously stuffing my face with any food within 10 feet of me.
Thus began our long distance journey together.
When we found out in that bittersweet moment on Match Day that the hubster would be doing his ER residency in Michigan, we knew we needed to set up a game plan. That plan was to see each other at least once a month and at the end of 6 months, we’d do a check in to see how we’re feeling about the 1500 miles between us.
So on a warm evening last week, while the hubster was in town, we took a walk around our golf course and discussed how we’re feeling. Now, I won’t go into the nitty gritty because hey, some thing are private, but all-in-all, we’re doing well.
Even if we lived together, we’d rarely see each other. This always seems to blow some people’s minds, but for me at least, it’s reassuring. We both work long hours, sometimes on opposite schedules. That 10-15 minute phone conversation I have with him on my way home? It would be the same if we lived together.
We actually visit each other more than we thought. An unexpected injury, hurricane and days off in a row meant we saw each other once every 3 weeks usually.
Accept how tired he is. The hubster point-blank has always needed more sleep than me. With 12-14 hour shifts, up to 11 days in a row, when we did talk, the conversations were dull or he actually fell asleep. I mean, I know I’m not that boring… The times we did see each other, he often fell asleep on the couch or in bed while I was working. I try my best to understand. (This past Friday though, when my job let me work remotely so we could be together and he fell asleep on the couch…nuh-uh….mama wasn’t having it. GET UP!)
Have something planned on the horizon. We try to have our next time together planned prior to the current one ending. We have a trip to Cancun coming up (!!!), plus another vacation to plan maybe when he has time off in June. It makes the time go by faster.
Know there will be bad months. December was pretty awful. He was in the ICU and I think both of us underestimated how grueling it would be. Add in that I was tying up loose ends working long hours on holiday campaigns, getting holiday
shit gifts together for relatives, and trying to plan a trip to a third world country and, you know, basically it was a giant disaster. We both made assumptions, both were in bad moods (him more so than me, of course. *adjust halo*) and both ended up agreeing that if we knew we were going to be rushed or in a bad mood, to call and catch up another (better) time.
Please know we didn’t come to that conclusion in as pretty of a fashion as it sounded. It was more like, “Mmmmkay, how ’bout I talk to you when you’re human again? kthanxbye.”
The time we do spend together is better spent. We both talked about how actually making time in our calendars to see each other for days at a time, is quality time. Sometimes it’s sitting on the couch watching a movie, but I know the time is limited so I appreciate it more, I guess.
Traveling connects us. Every time I travel with the hubster, I’m reminded why I love that man so darn much.
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them, than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain
I’m oddly sentimental about things that used to annoy me. I went into the master bathroom this morning and the toilet seat was up. Awwww, the hubster was here. He left me a pile o’ laundry that smells like him and, you know what, I’m okay with it.
Our summer home is now where I live. He leaves all his shorts and golf gear here until about Mid-May when the snowbirds head back up north for the summer. I also usually get a text before he comes to take a picture of what’s in the closet to she doesn’t overpack. Ha.
Goodbyes aren’t getting easier. Sure, I’m adjusting to the time away from each other, but saying goodbye sucks. Pit of your stomach, want to roll over and go back to sleep sucks. I hear that won’t change. Weeeeee.
So that’s it from the home front. Looks like we’re in for another 6 months of long distance love. Buckle up!
J. Hansen says
Time together is about quality not quanity. I’m glad you two are able to find a balance that is working while Tom finishes school ❤
Caroline Peterson says
Thank you! Completely agree. 🙂