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Not Your Average Gal

Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Soapbox

But I deserve it.

November 9, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

I guess it can be called a pet peeve of mine, since it makes my hair stand on end the second it comes out of someone’s mouth. Interestingly, it happens on House Hunters a lot. The couple looking for a home has a laundry list of “must-haves” that their realtor can’t possibly meet except to go over their initial budget. Once the couple narrows down their choice of houses from 3 to 1, the conversation sometimes goes like this:

But, it’s over our budget.

Yes, but that back yard and the stainless steel appliances?

We could maybe make it work…

Those granite counter tops and hard wood floors are something we’ve always wanted.

Yeah. They are nice…

Come on, honey. We deserve it. 

*Cue to the house choice that is over budget but is everything the couple feels they deserve.*

 

Back up the train. No. Just no.

They don’t deserve any of that.

Let me age myself by 30 years and give you…

 

A quick list of what you deserve in life:

  • Love
  • An education
  • A roof over your head
  • A full belly
  • Happiness

 

The last of which…can’t be bought because you deserve granite counter-tops.

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

Sobertober Conclusion

November 2, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

It’s November! Sobertober is over. I made it.

The hubster has a 30-hour shift on call today (and part of tomorrow), so to celebrate my achievement, I’m finishing off a box of wine while watching Lifetime alone.

Jokes.

By the time October ended, I forgot I hadn’t had a glass of wine in a month.

More jokes!

sobertober
That’s me at 12:05 am on November 1st

I had half a glass of wine and shortly after wanted to go home and sleep. I’M A WILD AND CRAZY-FUN TIME, KIDS.

I won’t lie, it was delicious. But, I also won’t lie that this month of not having alcohol has certainly made me revaluate my habits—the good and the bad.

The good

  • My skin has improved a bit. I’m usually the pinkish-red gal in photos. Blame my Scotch-Irish heritage, but it seems regardless of the foundation I use, I’m red. Full disclosure: I have a bit of Rosacea on one of my cheeks (yes, only one…) Not drinking has has taken that down enough for me to notice. Score!
  • I’ve banked 24 miles running the last 3 weeks of October alone. Not feeling like crap in the mornings helped me get my bum out of bed.

A pretty 5 miles this morning. #halfmarathontraining

A photo posted by Caroline (@carolinemadethis) on Oct 10, 2014 at 7:01am PDT

  • In general, I feel healthier. This could be a mental thing, but hey, who ever said I wasn’t mental? (hey-o!)
  • That bill at the restaurant? Cut in half. Nooooo, we don’t order tons to drink…usually. Have you SEEN prices in South Florida? That martini I ordered is the same price as my tacos. Mmmmm…tacos.
  • That glass of wine or nice bit of whiskey after a long, stressed-filled day at work was freakin’ “too easy.” And I’m glad this month made me realize that. Initially, I distracted myself by diving into writing or just whipping up dinner. But quicker than I realized, I didn’t need that distraction. It just became a habit to not use my go-to liquid relaxation.
  • Those crazy ideas and inventions that I come up with and usually blame on alcohol? I still have them sober. Luck you guys!
  • Call me a control freak, but I enjoyed being in control of my schedule and not letting alcohol dictate it.

The bad

  • My bad ass alma mater, Michigan State, won a pretty big rivalry game and I wanted to make all Spartans proud by having horribly cheap beer to celebrate. It just felt so right. But, I didn’t.
sobertober
He was a good sport about the loss. GO GREEN!
  • The peer pressure is bad, you guys. I’m in my 30’s and you people have a knack for making it be “weird” to not drink. I survived though. Drinking water during happy hour also meant explaining I’m not pregnant without immediately wanting to flip the bird.
Sobertober
You can cherish portraits of Bill Murray at the bar while sober.
  • I broke a nasty habit of drinking diet soda a few years ago. It’s back as a replacement. Not as bad as it used to be, but the very last bottle of Diet Coke is in my fridge right now. Back to carbonated water for me.
  • I didn’t lose a pound. Shocking, right? Things fit better, but I wasn’t counting on any major weight loss anyway. It’s par for the course for me.

My takeaway

I think it’s a good reality check to rebalance some thing every once and a while. After a tapas and wine filled vacation to Spain and Portugal, I listened to my body and tried something I thought may help. I’m glad I did because it definitely brought some perspective. I’m going to integrate not reaching for a glass of wine just because I want one when I’m tired and stressed. I can go out with friends and not drink and still have a good time and laugh…especially at explaining that I’m not pregnant for the umpteenth time.

Being in control is a powerful thing. I like that.

I also like tapas and wine.

tapas

A fine balance is key.

What do you guys think? Is it something you would try for a month? How did my sober gals do this month?

Previous posts:

Sobertober

Sobertober Update

Filed Under: Confessions, Soapbox

The Glorification of Busy

October 30, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

sobusy

My iPhone screen shattered this past weekend. (I don’t want to talk about it…) I waited nearly 4 years to upgrade my old phone and fell madly in love with my new iPhone 6. We made out a couple times.

Anyway, I turned off my cracked phone earlier this week (as requested by Apple) until my scheduled appointment to fix it yesterday.

I didn’t tell anyone about turning off my phone, except the hubster, because 1) I know I’m not that popular and 2) I didn’t actually want to talk to anyone, so it worked out! Know what happens in 2 days when you don’t have a phone?

You’re quickly reminded how inconsequential your life is.

No, really. Not in a bad sense. In sort of a refreshing sense.

Sadly, I turned on my phone in the morning to see if anyone called or texted.

bjdallbymyself

Just 1 text.

I kept it on throughout the morning (bad!) and I got 2 more texts.

That’s it.

The world still rotated on its axis. Stocks didn’t plummet. Justin Timberlake is still married. (sigh.)

In general, I’m a busy gal. Much like one of my favorite bloggers, I thrive on busy. As Roni says:

“Not busy for busy's sake busy but truly busy with lots of projects, activities and things I'm trying to accomplish.”

I’m always, always juggling a few outside projects and I’ve had an extremely busy, pressure-filled couple months at just work alone. Not to mention trying to train for a half marathon, this blog, etc., etc., the list goes on and on. But so does yours, right?

My point is, we’re not all as busy as we think we are.

Turning off my phone made that perfectly clear.

I’m so beyond all the excuses of how much busier another person is than me or you or your mama.

I have a girlfriend who I swear to baby Jesus is always sick. (Not life threatening. I’m not that cold.) Every single time I talk to her, she’s sick. Sick and busy. Just so so so so so SO busy. You know what that’s like to call after a while? Sort of exhausting. I don’t want to add to her busy schedule that she makes abundantly clear to me by calling and interrupting. And that’s exactly how it comes across when I’m basically making her more busy by talking to me. This happened for years…so I stopped calling.

glorification of busy

Ever send or return something to someone and fail to hear if they got it? Even an email. Then you wonder if they got it, so you wait the appropriate amount of time (you know, weeks) to ask if they got it, only to be blown off with the incredibly cliché and typical:

Oh sorry. Yeah. You know how busy we are. 

Yeah, I do. Guess what? We’re all busy! Busy or not, rude is rude. I’m not even looking for a thank you. I’m looking for a “Hey, got it!” But that’s too much for people who are too busy.

Let’s set aside forgetfulness for the moment. It happens to all of us and people understand because everyone has been there. Sometimes I totally forget to call or text back or tell someone, “Got your email. On it. Sorry I haven’t responded yet.”

carolinemadethis

…I was “busy” taking selfies of perfecting my top bun and FINALLY earning my chick card.

But a constant forgetfulness that’s attributed to being “so busy all the time” is just a crutch for being careless in my humble opinion.

I realize there’s a psychological undertone to all of this. People who are “always busy” probably feel they’re contributing something. There is a very primal need for you and me to know we are valued. Perhaps their value is wrapped tightly around the idea of busyness.

But at what point do you become so consumed with your own type of busy, that you forget you’re not the only one who is?

Unless you’re a diplomat stuck in very real deliberations for world peace, your busy is no more significant than mine.

Busy is such an incredibly relative term.

So let’s stop it. Let’s stop the glorification of busy.

glorification of busy

 

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

Sobertober Update

October 19, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

I have 11 days and 3.5 hours left of Sobertober. But who’s counting?

Jokes.

Sadly, there isn’t much to report. It’s certainly been different watching football with the hubster without a beer. I also had to turn down Happy Hour with my fabulous female coworkers. They even posted pictures which made me insanely sad I wasn’t there. Truth be told, I didn’t go because we finally got time to sit down and do our finances and I didn’t want to delay that anymore.

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What? How do you guys do your finances?

View on Instagram

It was a RIVETING Friday night.

That said, it has made me realize how “easy” it was for me to just pour a glass of wine when I got home or after a long week. It had become a habit and while kept in moderation, it’s still not a great habit to have. I feel like I can hear one of my dear friends, Stacey, yelling at me right now. “THEY SAY A GLASS OF RED WINE IS EQUIVALENT TO WORKING OUT. Sheesh.”

I also haven’t exactly been having a stress-free month. So that bottle of port wine I brought back from Portugal is just stare-ing at me. Jerk.

The Sobertober Good

  • I can wake up at 5:30 am on a Sunday to go for a 4 mile run on Ft. Lauderdale Beach and see this:

Sobertober Update

And this:

Sobertober Update

And this:

Sobertober Update

  • I’ve been able to focus on getting back on track with running and meal prep because I do feel a bit cleaner not drinking. (I’ll blog about meal prep later this week.)
  • I go to the pool without a fruity margarita and survive!

The Sobertober Bad

  • I’ve taken to eating ice cream more (see above)
  • I have had Diet Coke way more than I care to admit as a replacement
  • The social aspect. Saying “no” to a beer or shot turns heads. Maybe I should surround myself with different people. I’m looking at YOU bad influencers. ;)

So that’s the dealio-yo. I’m sure I’ll write a conclusion after all of this to let you know if my skin is glowing or I’ve suddenly dropped 25 pounds or I’m swearing off the stuff for life.

After I have a glass of that port wine, that is.

Where are all my participants who told me they were joining Sobertober with me? How you doin’?

 

Find out how I did:
Sobertober Conclusion

Filed Under: Confessions, Funny, Soapbox

The Bitch List

October 16, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

My mind is full right now. I’m stressed out. Thoughts are fuzzy. Having a blog can leave you a bit vulnerable. There’s some value in opening yourself up though – others can relate so you don’t feel so alone. So they don’t feel so alone too.

I want to be authentic with you. Yes, you. The people who are reading these very words.

I make an effort to balance sharing humorous anecdotes about travels or life with being real about real-life struggles. But sometimes, I don’t say things over concern about sounding whiny. I have a wonderful life and I don’t want to ever take away from that.

But let me set the bar for honesty. It’s all not sunshine and rainbows, pictures of beaches and posts about traveling.

I’m on the struggle train right now. Choo choo.

Here’s why:

  • I haven’t been training for my half-marathon like I should and I feel like shit for it. I tell myself “Start Monday.” “Okay, start Wednesday.” “Dude. Get OUT of bed.” And another week has passed by where I missed another conditioning run.
  • I haven’t been back to Weight Watchers since I got back from Portugal and Spain because…duh. Did you SEE the pictures of tapas and what I mentioned about not training as much as I should?
  • I despise this time of year because of planning upcoming holidays with family. It always, always bring on a myriad of crappy feelings for me. Some, perhaps, I’ll write about soon.
  • I’m working a lot, staying late, working on weekends and sleeping very little.
  • I’m finding because of the above, I’m stressed out and have lost a bit of weight. Bonus?
  • I have several posts written that I’m mulling over because I’m not sure how I’m coming across, even if it’s honest, because I may offend someone. Then I’m reminded of this:

sowhat

  • I’m a one-woman show! My site is a constant, constant work in progress. Maybe more than you know. I want the design of this site to be cleaner. I want my SEO to be better. I don’t get why Twitter is still the least clicked social media for my posts.
  • I need to edit over 1,000 photos that I started a couple weeks back but haven’t gotten to because of work.
  • I overthink things. Moving 1500 miles put some friendships in clear perspective. A majority of time, it’s a cathartic feeling to know the truth. Other days, it hurts and I question a zillion things. Perhaps, I’ll write about it soon.
  • I’m at a weird “stage” where it’s tough to connect with women my age because I don’t often want the same things in this moment (or maybe ever) that they have. Like Coach purses, Tory Birch flats (Seriously. You paid how much?!), kids, a mortgage or stupid stick figures on the back of a minivan.
  • Because I don’t have the above items, my contributions feel discounted. Forget if I work through another weekend, I don’t have kids so I couldn’t possibly be drained. But I AM ex-hausted.
God I love Bridget Jones.
God I love Bridget Jones.
  • I’ve been struggling with the “b” words. Bossy and bitchy. Those two terms that come up when you’re confident in providing direction or being assertive. I get annoyed that I have to even think about that and then second guess myself. That’s come up a bit lately for me. Then I read something like this:

“What women need to understand is that the fear of being seen as “not nice” or bitchy comes from social messages about how they should behave. It’s the way men have gotten women to acquiesce for centuries. Just the thought of being considered less than nice makes a woman feel less than feminine. Each time you hesitate or avoid asking for what you want you’ve bowed to these messages. The vast majority of women could be more assertive and still be far from bitchy in reality. When you’re called that, it’s usually because you didn’t do what someone else wants —- in which case, kudos to you!”– Dr. Lois Frankel

bgetstuffbsget

wootwoot

So there you have it, my Bitch List. It all seemed to come to a bit of a head right now. One of my perceptive and hilarious girlfriends said I was just having an off week. I think she’s right.

This bossy bitch will take it in stride.

Filed Under: Confessions, Soapbox

Sobertober

October 10, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

sobertober

After my recent trip to Spain and Portugal, I knew I needed to give my good ol’ body a break. A detox, if you will.

There was lots of chatting over sangria.

IMG_2002

And tapas.

tapas

And wine.

IMG_2269

And paella.

paella

And sangria.

sobertober

…and wine.

sobertober wine

One of my friends asked on Facebook if anyone wanted to join her for Sober October. And while the responses were quite entertaining, it got me thinking…

I can do that. I want to do that.

Well you know what happens when Caroline sets her mind to something, right?

Oh? You don’t know?

I decide to train for a half-marathon in 3 months.

Or go vegan for about a year.

It was delicious, I swear.

Or find an obscure bar in Bangkok I heard about even if it takes us over an hour and half to find.

2013 - 10330

Or jump in the water with elephants because I. want. to.

IMG_2078

Or learn Spanish again.

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#Mexcellent #Epcot #latergram

View on Instagram

Or complete an olympic-distance triathlon.

IMG_1418

No wonder I needed to drink…

I’ll be honest, I hesitated posting this because of the stigma around the word “sober.” I could carefully craft a blog about how I’m doing it to raise money for charity (I know there is a great cause) or to help me lose those last 10 pounds.

But the truth of the matter is, I want to be healthier and I want to see what not having that glass of bless-your-heart wine after work will be like. I want to take myself out of my comfort zone and find another outlet rather than kicking my feet up and having a beer when I’m stressed. I like waking up early and refreshed on the weekends and going for a run. With my half-marathon training just starting, there’s no better time than right now! I’ve been trying to lose weight and this should help a bit, so added bonus!

I got an emergency project that I worked on through last weekend and this past week hasn’t exactly been relaxing. I thrive on busy weeks at work, it’s when I feel I do my best writing. But that means I’ve desperately wanted a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon when I get home just to…chill.

But I didn’t.

handsgif

Next week, I’m going to the USA vs. HON men’s soccer game and you know what? I’ll want a good ol’ american beer.

But I won’t.

Because it’s SOBERTOBER, y’all.

Care to join me? Even if you have had alcohol during the first 10 days, why not join me now? Try it out. Everyone is doing it…

Yeah.

I just peer-pressured you into not drinking.

That just happened.

So…whatdoyasay?

 

Find out how I did:
Sobertober Update
Sobertober Conclusion

Filed Under: Confessions, Funny, Soapbox

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