Girl Code

My stepmom, a woman whom I admire deeply, once told me that having a solid group of supportive girlfriends was one of the keys to having fulfilling relationships in other facets of life. I fiercely fought the idea of being a stereotype — a girlfriend that dresses the same, looks the same and puts her hand on her hip the same as her friends when they pose for pictures.

I used to declare I was closer to my guy friends than some women. Somehow that would be cooler, right? That notion is still true in some aspects — but I hold my girlfriends closer to my heart in most instances now that we’ve aged.

That makes me sound like a Golden Girl.

I also live in Florida in a community made up of mostly retirees…

<blinks>

Moving on.

I am one of the only women in my circle of friends who doesn’t have children and/or a mortgage. I have different life goals. This certainly changed my relationships with many of my girlfriends. Some for better, some for worse. As I’ve said before, while the dynamics of a relationship may change with marriage, children and life obligations called adulting, I’ve see that it’s perfectly possible to maintain friendships throughout those ebbs and flows because of certain women I’m still close with. 

(Also throw in a 1500 mile move and you gain instant perspective on friendships. Wine was very handy during this transition. And tequila.)

We recently had to cancel our trip to Southeast Asia.
Soon after, we got another punch in the nuts.
And right after that, there was another not-so-pretty setback.

3 life adjusting events in the course of 5-ish weeks. 

They are all things that add to the chapters of our lives and will make us stronger, or some other bullshit they tell you to make you feel better. It sucks. Right now, it currently sucks. There. I said it.

A majority of time I keep perspective. I’m grateful for where I’m at and am keenly aware things could be worse. I’m happily reading more to keep myself distracted. I’m catching up on my to-do list with an efficiency that must come from my part German heritage. I took 2 consecutive days off work and enjoyed a long weekend with the hubster that involved smiling and kissing and holding handing and all those other vomit-worthy things. Plus, I have so many freakin’ good ideas that I’m working to make happen with this site that I pee a little just thinking about it. Just a little. 

Thing is, I think I’m doing pretty darn good and then some slow walker on the way into work (OMGHOWCANYOUPHYSICALLYWALKTHATSLOW?) makes me miss an elevator and I about lose it over the 45 seconds I need to wait for another one.

The stress of recent events, it seems, is always at a slow simmer.

As the universe chucked some curveballs my way, I saw that even though I wasn’t wearing Lilly Pulitzer or carrying a Michael Kors purse (“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”), I had some close friends come out of the woodwork. Each one of their distinct personalities and life experiences adds something to my heart and reminded me that I have some pretty cool gal pals.

A card, a call, a text, a funny picture, an IM during the work day, a picture of their sweet kids, a great recipe for a skinny margarita (you bitches know me). I actually sent that one to myself.

It means so much to me. I must remind myself of that support during these times. Take some time today and tell a gal pal how much she means to you, even if it’s been awhile. Reach out to those who have always supported you and let them know how it’s shaped you today. Hell, share a glass of wine over FaceTime with your sister-in-law while you’re in Spain and fist bump your then 4 month old niece who has no idea what’s going on. 

What? I heard a friend of mine did that…

Girlfriends are incredibly important. So, thanks to those of you, especially recently. 

Thank you for being a friend.

 

 

 

(Traveled down the road and back again.)

(Your heart is true.)

(You’re a pal and a confidant…)

Shit. 

If I’m really a Golden Girl, I call dibs on being Sophia.

From time to time, readers ask me what lipstick I’m wearing or what foundation I use. I even get texts from friends asking about it. You guys are a demanding bunch of divas.

I actually wear a lot less makeup than I did in my 20’s. It’s probably a combination of feeling more confident in how I look, not giving a shit what people think and also being a lazy sloth in the morning not wanting to spend more than 5 minutes on it. I actually *gasp* only wear foundation to work once a week when I’m not meeting with clients and impressing them with my copywriting skills and sunshine smile.

So I thought I’d start a “My Favorites” series about my favorite things. <cue Julie Andrews> Let’s start with the beautification process of making me look so damn awesome.

 

1. St Ives Fresh Skin Apricot Scrub

This has been in my shower since I was in high school. Yes, I’m being serious. This is my stand-by scrub and I only use it 1-2 times a week for my face and neck (and sometimes knees and elbows if they’re extra dry). It’s less than $4 too. Holla atchya girl!

2. R+F Microdermabrasion Paste

My dear friend and former roommate sent this to me as a sample telling me it would make my face feel like a baby’s bottom. (How’s that for a sales pitch?) Shit got real because it totally did! I use this two to three times a month in replacement of the St. Ive’s Apricot Scrub. It’s so damn good. BBS. Baby’s bottom soft. If I’m feeling feisty, I’ll put on R+F Redefine Night Renewing Serum afterwards and wake up like Princess fucking Aurora. Beauty sleep in a bottle, babes.

3. Josie Maran Argan Daily Moisturizer SPF 47

I was introduced to this 5 or so years ago by a sales associate at Sephora when I was looking for a moisturizer with SPF in it that wouldn’t make my skin burn or eyes tear up. My skin is a sensitive bitch, just like my heart. She raved about this and told me just to buy the small sample in case I didn’t like it. Well, I LOVED IT. It’s lightweight and hello SPF 47. Josie Maran has free shipping for anything over $25 too.

4. Bare Minerals Original Broad Spectrum 15 Foundation

I’ve used this for the past 10 years, easy. It’s lightweight and covers well without making you look like a street walker. I used to be a Medium, but have changed to Medium Beige. Damn the Florida sun. I tried Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue recently as my skin was a bit dry from winter and I like it but I’ll go back to the powder after I finish it up.

5. It Cosmetics Vitality Face Disc

This has lasted me over a year and a half. It’s a bronzer and highlighting powder with blush. Somedays I use all, some I use just the blush and other days I don’t use it at all. As in, my face goes commando. Ohhhh, kinky.

6. Laura Mercier Full Blown Volume Supreme Mascara

I have a dilemma most bitches hate me for- my eyelashes are quite long. Frankly, I love them and I don’t say that about many parts of this ol’ body. They are so long that they leave black mascara marks above my eyes because…they are long enough to touch my brow bone. I can feel the death glares now. I found this in my Birchbox one month and became an instant fan. It’s much easier to take off than Benefit’s They’re Real mascara, which was my go-to for years.

7. IT Cosmetics Brow Power Brow Pencil

Don’t you wish your eyebrows would grow as thick as your armpit hair? Gross? Sure. But if there’s a hairy joke line, I’ll cross it. Sometimes I need a bit of a filler to make my brows fuller and this does the trick without making me look like 80’s Madonna. It’s a universal color so anyone can use it and not screw it up. Allegedly.

8. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer

I’m not sure if I just have greasy eyelids or what, but whenever I wear eyeshadow I’d get this weird crease in the makeup on my lids. This stuff solved it. One tube will last you a really long time.

9. Coastal Scents Revealed 2 Palette

I change up my eyeshadows the most often (read: once a year) and usually use what Birchbox sends me, especially since they’re small samples and travel well for a girl-on-the-go like me. Hey-o, travelin’ superstar! I liked this one so much that I bought the full size set. It’s similar to Urban Decay’s Naked line, but half the price and just as good.

10. LAQA Lip Lube Pencils

Another find in my Birchbox (are you sensing a trend?) and this really surprised me. I’m not a lipstick gal. I actually wore lipgloss for my wedding and even then someone had to push me to do it. These little puppies pack a punch and keep my lips hydrated, which is often a problem when wearing liptstick. I love the Lambchop and Menatour colors.

Other products:

Right now, I also use Olay Regenerist Advanced Anti-Aging Regeneration Cream Cleanser and Neutrogena Alcohol Free Toner before I put facial cream on at night. That’s usually Oil of Olay Regenerist Micro Sculpting Cream, R+F Redefine Night Renewing Serum or Retin-A.

 

The Giveaway:

The first 15 people to comment below about what’s in their beauty arsenal will get free samples from my dear gal pal, Emily, at R+F. I know what you and your Facebook newsfeed are thinking, sometimes I feel like I need to teach a few R+F gals some marketing skills– bombarding my newsfeed with how omg! wonderful! great! a product is isn’t selling something, it actually creates something called consumer fatigue.

I digress…

Emily isn’t like that. In fact, I bought an R+F product last year and it wasn’t right for my particular sensitive skin. She never got pushy, never bombarded my email asking if I wanted anything more. I just told her last week about how “pink” my skin is and she simply described one product she loves and the ingredients in it. (She knows her stuff.) I’m so excited to try it! (Update: the Soothe step #2 is awesome.) For sanity’s sake, everything has a 60-day money back guarantee if you don’t like it, even if you’ve used all of the product.

But you’re getting free samples to try, so everyone wins! I’ll contact the 15 winners via email.

Now go ahead and share in the comments– what are your go-to beauty products?

Disclosure shit: If you purchase one of the products sold on Amazon through these links, I get a small commission at no extra cost whatsoever to you. As always, these are truly the products that I use and recommend.