My stepmom, a woman whom I admire deeply, once told me that having a solid group of supportive girlfriends was one of the keys to having fulfilling relationships in other facets of life. I fiercely fought the idea of being a stereotype — a girlfriend that dresses the same, looks the same and puts her hand on her hip the same as her friends when they pose for pictures.
I used to declare I was closer to my guy friends than some women. Somehow that would be cooler, right? That notion is still true in some aspects — but I hold my girlfriends closer to my heart in most instances now that we’ve aged.
That makes me sound like a Golden Girl.
I also live in Florida in a community made up of mostly retirees…
I am one of the only women in my circle of friends who doesn’t have children and/or a mortgage. I have different life goals. This certainly changed my relationships with many of my girlfriends. Some for better, some for worse. As I’ve said before, while the dynamics of a relationship may change with marriage, children and life obligations called adulting, I’ve see that it’s perfectly possible to maintain friendships throughout those ebbs and flows because of certain women I’m still close with.
(Also throw in a 1500 mile move and you gain instant perspective on friendships. Wine was very handy during this transition. And tequila.)
We recently had to cancel our trip to Southeast Asia.
Soon after, we got another punch in the nuts.
And right after that, there was another not-so-pretty setback.
3 life adjusting events in the course of 5-ish weeks.
They are all things that add to the chapters of our lives and will make us stronger, or some other bullshit they tell you to make you feel better. It sucks. Right now, it currently sucks. There. I said it.
A majority of time I keep perspective. I’m grateful for where I’m at and am keenly aware things could be worse. I’m happily reading more to keep myself distracted. I’m catching up on my to-do list with an efficiency that must come from my part German heritage. I took 2 consecutive days off work and enjoyed a long weekend with the hubster that involved smiling and kissing and holding handing and all those other vomit-worthy things. Plus, I have so many freakin’ good ideas that I’m working to make happen with this site that I pee a little just thinking about it. Just a little.
Thing is, I think I’m doing pretty darn good and then some slow walker on the way into work (OMGHOWCANYOUPHYSICALLYWALKTHATSLOW?) makes me miss an elevator and I about lose it over the 45 seconds I need to wait for another one.
The stress of recent events, it seems, is always at a slow simmer.
As the universe chucked some curveballs my way, I saw that even though I wasn’t wearing Lilly Pulitzer or carrying a Michael Kors purse (“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”), I had some close friends come out of the woodwork. Each one of their distinct personalities and life experiences adds something to my heart and reminded me that I have some pretty cool gal pals.
A card, a call, a text, a funny picture, an IM during the work day, a picture of their sweet kids, a great recipe for a skinny margarita (you bitches know me). I actually sent that one to myself.
It means so much to me. I must remind myself of that support during these times. Take some time today and tell a gal pal how much she means to you, even if it’s been awhile. Reach out to those who have always supported you and let them know how it’s shaped you today. Hell, share a glass of wine over FaceTime with your sister-in-law while you’re in Spain and fist bump your then 4 month old niece who has no idea what’s going on.
What? I heard a friend of mine did that…
Girlfriends are incredibly important. So, thanks to those of you, especially recently.
Thank you for being a friend.
(Traveled down the road and back again.)
(Your heart is true.)
(You’re a pal and a confidant…)
If I’m really a Golden Girl, I call dibs on being Sophia.