Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Writing Techniques to Improve Focus

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If your ability to sit down and write anything related to your business or school looks more like—SQUIRREL! 

Then welcome, my unfocused friend. I literally just left writing this blog to check on a notification I got, so please know, these are my best techniques. But I'm imperfect, just like you!

So, you're at that crossroads of:

Do I really need to do this?

And

You've been putting this off for <fill in with days, weeks, months and years> so just sit down and write it for God's sake.

As my business is literally built on writing, I've mastered some helpful techniques over the years that get me cranking out the world in no time. 

(Legit, the above 8 sentences took me less than 30 seconds to write.)

Once you get in your flow or learn how to quickly get back into the flow because—OMG ANOTHER DISTRACTION—you can just as happily get the words flowing too.

I use these tips and tricks usually when there’s a task that requires me to write to complete a project:

  • Client brand stories
  • Client website audits
  • Consultation briefs
  • Blogs posts
  • Social media posts
  • Harshly worded emails to a multi-million-dollar company that still hasn't responded to me about something that I never received and paid for, but is most likely gone in the Hawaiian triangle (it exists!) never to be seen again.

(Now we're at 6 minutes since I started writing this blog post)

So, hopefully, whatever you need to write, you can don your writing cap—it's super cute, by the way—more easily by using these techniques. And remember, writing is a practice. I've had to revisit what works and trash the things that aren't serving me plenty of times. 

These are my tried-and-true best writing practices.

Word vomit everything you're feeling into a notebook: 

The best way to do this is writing it all out. There's literally a cognitive connection between writing by hand and starting the flow of words to be able to write a paper or blog post or whatever your business needs at the moment. If it's easier for you to word vomit onto a Google Doc, rather than write, who am I to judge? Go on with your bad self.

This is a technique used from reading The Artist's Way. Many writers or creatives will start their day by writing anything and everything that comes to mind for 15 minutes or enough to fill up 3 written pages. This gets the gunk out of your head and the best part? It doesn't have to make ANY sense. Very often my morning pages are just things I'm complaining about or how my body is feeling. If a bird is chirping, I'll even just write that down. It doesn't have to be a complete thought and it certainly wouldn't be something formal you'd get up in front of a podium to give a speech about. 

Write a shitty first draft and resist editing while writing:

This phrase was coined by my mentor and fantastic writing coach, Jacq Fisch. But, really, get all the words out of there that may or may not be spelled correctly and bust out even a few sentences. 

When I'm writing my shitty first draft, I often look up or away from the computer. This helps my words just flow and prevents me constantly rereading the last sentences or correcting typos and grammatical errors. (Yes, they do happen, even with the professionals.) Doing this has EASILY been the best way to bust through writer’s blocks and just crap out words onto the page. What? It's a shitty first draft, you know? If I need a hot minute, and usually I do, I'll wait to edit my writing until the next day. 

(We're at 15 minutes since starting this post.)

If you're like me and you've procrastinated writing this thing that's been on your To Do list. Then step away for even a half hour and come back to re-read and edit. Once you start noticing that you're back into full-throttle edit mode while you're writing, look up! 

Yup, just look above your computer and keep writing again. Let those words flow magically and know that 1) your computer very often catches spelling or grammar errors and 2) it’s more important to find a gentle wave of words than constantly be interrupted by wondering if something sounds good.

Repeat after me: Write first. Edit later.

Use a timer or the Pomodoro technique:

I've spoken about this before, but these were game changers tips for me, especially coming from an educational background where tests that typically involve essays could take hours. It doesn't have to be like that! Ever, ever again. Unless you're training or studying to be a doctor and for that, may the force be with you. If you ever need someone to sit in misery with over how long that route takes, hit me up. I'm happy to validate it after being by my husband's side throughout his journey. 

Anywhoooo..

(19 minutes now)

The Pomodoro technique is basically a timed exercise of 20 minutes of work with quick 5 minute breaks in between, with a longer 15 minute break after 5 timed sessions. This allows your brain to recognize that you won’t be doing this for hours at a time and to give it a go for a quick set amount of time. Many times that writing task or work biz task that I've been putting off for days or weeks, gets done in one 20 minute Pomodoro session because things SO often do not take as long as we've convinced ourselves that they will take. 

During the 5 minute breaks, I'll stretch or go check social media for a hot minute or even make myself some tea. I always feel so British when I say that. Spot of tea! 

The best part of this technique is that you'll quickly see your brain getting into the flow. It may take a session or two to find the rhythm, but I bet that you'll get more writing done using this technique, than dreading writing and putting it off another day. 

You can download the Pomodoro method chrome extension that I use here.

You simply click the little tomato in your navigation bar and it starts the timer. After 15 minutes another tab will open up in your browser, letting you know that you get a 5 minute break with a cute little bell that rings. From there, you'll click Start Break and the timer will keep track of it and ring another bell at the end of 5 minutes so you can get back to the task at hand.

Another fun device I use, I discovered on TikTok, probably while avoiding work. It's a cube that has 15, 20, 30 and 60 minute timers. 

Once you set the cube face up showing the amount of time you want to spend on a task, the time starts. I do this on days when I have one task that I know will take me longer than the 20 minute Pomodoros. I'm actually even using it right now for this every post. I came back to this post after a day and set my timer for another 30 minutes to bang out the rest of this post.

There's also no way of stopping or pausing this timer once it starts, so if I find myself distracted, I have to tell that thing or interruption to wait. I’m on a timer.

For me, it basically tells my brain, you've sat through longer exams and business meetings than these set times. You can plop your booty down to figure this task out. And more often than not, I’ll see how much time is left because I’m already finished. Get the timer cube here.

(29 minutes)

Take a break!

I realize this seems counterintuitive, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in avoiding the task at hand, that we start doing other things that keep our mind busy. Instead, take a break.

Go on a 20 minute walk. Meditate. I sometimes will stretch or watch half an episode of some trash reality tv show. 

What you want to do is show yourself (and your mind) that you can take a break and also get back to the writing task at hand. As you start doing this more and more, you'll show yourself (and your mind) that you're capable of doing it. 

Plus, it is totally okay to not want to write. 

Say what?!

Sometimes it seems too overwhelming and daunting. If you show yourself some love, I bet that you'll be kinder about starting up the next writing sessions.

Play some soothing music:

I've really experienced trial and error with finding the right playlists for music while writing. I've found that sometimes it totally depends on the time of day and my mood.

I cannot, as much as I've tried, listen to podcasts while writing. I find that I’m rewinding more than I actually listen because…how the hell do you write while listening to someone else talk?! The people who can do that absolutely astonish me. 

So, I've found fun jazz playlists, literally “hotel lobby” playlists which usually consist of some electronic hipster lounge beats and also some yoga/meditative youtube playlists are the best. You can find which ones I like the most below.

The Meditative Mind

Coffee Shop Vibes

Calmed By Nature

Read hard hitting or well-written pieces:

I often surprise people when they hear I don't read too, too much outside of my daily work. 1) because I read so much during the day. Whether that's my own client's words or re-reading and editing my own and 2) I didn't find many fictional genres I enjoyed until I was an adult. The forced reading (that I did do!) in school sort of worked against me as I got older. I've averaged about 10-15 books a year.

I'm inspired by pieces of writing that hit an emotional nerve in me and then inspire me to write something equally as touching. When writers are vulnerable, it gives me permission to do the same. When writers are fun and playful, I want to examine that in my work too.

From blog posts to articles, I'll pull inspiration from journalists and writers who pound the proverbial google doc pavement with their words.

As far as fictional books, I love reading who-dun-it series, as well as historically based books. I've found in the last couple years I've really enjoyed reading WWII books based in Britain. Shocking, I know for those of you who know me well. 

As far as non-fiction, I love memoirs and motivational books.

Reading outside my own writing gives me a good idea that hell, if others can do it, so can I. Plus, I see how creatively people write and it inspires my own writing. 

Forgive yourself and be kind:

If worse comes to worse, and I'm distracted so often and so much that I can't get any writing done. I will table it. Writing and business tasks will always be there. 

Key Reminder: If you force it too much, your reader or boss or client will absolutely be able to tell. My job is very heart-centric. I put a lot of love into these words. If I'm forcing myself to do it, you can tell. Well, at least I can! 

Table it for another day. Tell yourself it's okay and you'll come back to it. Leave in the middle of writing a sentence so you can hop right back in.

From my experience, as long as I've started the task, it's much easier to come back to. Starting is the biggest battle in getting shit done. So if I've at least started writing, I have a place to come back to. 

(1 hour)

As you can see, over 2,000 words and 1 hour later, I’ve got a bonafide piece of writing. I actually used quite of few of the techniques above to finish this very blog post too. It does work. Writing can feel like a monumental task, even for a writer. I’ve found my sweet spot over the years by learning to be kind to myself and trying new things. Happy writing!

The Hard and Wonderful Things We’ve Learned This Year.

By

Flying out of 2021 and looking towards 2022.

Today is Thanksgiving. Well, not when you’re reading this. But, when I’m writing this. 

I’m sitting alone out on my back porch overlooking our tropical backyard. It’s pouring rain. The pitter patter of the water hitting our gutters offers me the type of soundtrack you often bought back in the day when The Nature Store existed. 

Remember that store? 

It was all about earth: its animals, nature and conservation. I bought a Thunderstorms CD back in the day. 7th grade to be exact. (Why the HELL do I remember that, but not what I had for breakfast this morning?) I bought it so I could concentrate while I studied.

Because, for me, studying and being a good student was of utmost importance then. 

So much so that I bought a freakin’ CD of nature sounds to help me study. At 13!

But today the soundtrack is real-life rain, in my own backyard on the Big Island of Hawaii.

Wonder what that 13 year old girl would think of me today? Hope she'd be proud. Life is bizarre y’all. 

I've also been playing this particular song on repeat for the last couple weeks, but especially the last few days. 

In fact, it's playing now while I write this amongst the pitter patter backdrop of rain.

I've been participating in NanoWriMo with the Write Like a Mofo crew this whole month of November. It's basically where you sit down to write every day for 30 days and hopefully bang out a novel. The average novel is 50,000 words. So some people will set their word count for that. I've been writing my blogs, newsletters and new sales pages for Not Your Average Gal. This year I aimed for my word count to be 30,000 words. 

Currently I'm at 23,102 words.

(Spoiler Alert: I hit over 31,000 words.)

What we've found as a group, especially if you're writing a memoir or long-form blogs, is that this whole process can be emotional and cathartic all at once. Writing is the best kind of bitch, you guys.

This particular song has hit a nerve with me especially after writing so much in the last few weeks.

This has been the hardest year for me professionally at Not Your Average Gal. I've grown leaps and bounds in terms of knowing what works and doesn't. Knowing what values I want this business to emulate. Knowing that even if my bottom line doesn't reflect it, I know how to bust ass.

It has also easily been one of the toughest personally for me in my everyday life. The drudgery of an ongoing pandemic has seeped its way into relationships and mental health.

Having the song play on repeat reminds me that I'm not alone in that.

I'm also not alone in the optimism that next year is gonna be better than this either.

That I can simultaneously be so incredibly grateful for all we have, all we've worked for and also, be feeling quite depleted and burnt out, wanting this year to be Over. Yes, with a capital O.

As a writer, I can't say it any more eloquently than this.

It's been really, really hard.

In so many different facets, ways and moments.

I've learned a lot from the hard and wonderful experiences of this year and while I was writing this, I realized how universal these lessons and feelings are. So I wrote this with you in mind too.

If we don't learn from them, we're doomed to repeat them and man, I am NOT letting that happen.

I believe next years gonna be better than this year.

The Hard and Wonderful Things We've Learned this Year.

People are going to people

I've been volunteering at community vaccination clinics since the FDA and CDC approved them. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience, reminding me that people generally want to take care of themselves and their community. When science suddenly became something that was divisive, when my husband's expert opinion and lived-experience was up for debate, I fell into a deep hole of doubting the good in the world.

Much like many, many other people were experiencing, I felt my heart sink each time after seeing misinformation spread and vile, chest-beating slogans be hurled towards school boards, teachers and healthcare workers, including my husband.

Then, this month we were able to start giving vaccines to children and I watched hundreds of children come through our clinic. Some are super excited, skipping through the lines; happy to be able to get back to playdates and sports. Others nervously and understandably looked for reassurance, which I was happy to give.

As I was manning the door directing everyone where they should go, a gentleman walked up to me asking if he could leave through the doorway I was standing in front of.

It was thoroughfare that was clearly marked by a sign “Not an Exit.” I said it wasn't a problem, because I like a good rule breaker.

“Okay. Thank you. I don't want to leave out the real exit and deal with those people. They make me uncomfortable.”

I didn’t know what he meant as I had arrived there earlier than the clinic opened to help set up, so I missed seeing the protesters outside. 

I asked the National Guard personnel if there were protesters and they nodded, pointing to where they were outside. I asked if people could use the door I was standing in front of as an exit and they said it was no problem. Later in the shift they asked me to find a manager to deal with the protestors as they were getting a bit more brazen.

At a kids vaccination clinic.

It immediately infuriated me.

I felt so much of what I've felt this entire year. How? Why? I can't explain science to people this determined to misunderstand. 

But, what changed that day is a testament to what we've all gone through.

I could have gotten wrapped up in the small group protesting outside, yelling at people leaving a clinic after getting vaccinated…or I could remind myself that hundreds more walked through those doors. Many with goofy grins and toothless smiles. (The kids, you guys.)

The good outweighs the bad. 

I'll forever believe that. 

The moment I start sinking into that rabbit hole that it doesn't, I need to make a hard pause and reevaluate.

Worth isn't tied to productivity

Corporate Caroline still lives within me. To the point that sometimes I will literally sit at my desk without a task to do or waiting on a response from someone, just so I can pride myself on “looking productive.” Anyone who has worked in the business world (or a cubical farm) knows that if you have a boss that admires hours in the office vs. actual productivity, you are required to sit even when you may be done with your tasks. A lot of busy work is waiting around for responses and cleaning up your inbox or literally finding more work.

That mindset is why so many of us feel the burnout. 

If I'm done by noon on some days, I will feel this urge to still be at my desk and find things to do. It's a product of Corporate Caroline's past, as well as knowing there will always be something else on my to-do list that could get done. The lists are literally never-ending. Once you've crossed something off, you couuuuuulllllld go and look for that thing that you wanted to explore for your business or outline goals months and years out, brainstorm ideas for your next viral TikTok. As business owners and entrepreneurs, we know this. So we tie ourselves to the productivity train.

But it isn't productive. It actually works against us to constantly feel that there is something else better to do than rest or create for the fun of it or—gasp!—do nothing.

Especially as you'll see in what else I learned this year below, when you don't hit your financial goals, the tendency is to buckle down and work harder, be more productive—produce, produce, produce!

And while there is shred truth behind that, it isn't the end-all be-all, only prescriptive solution for how we fill our days. 

Some of my best business ideas have come from a long run.

Some of my hardest-hitting written pieces have come during a vacation.

Some of the most productive work I do is literally on a plane back from said vacation.

There is a very real reward for rest: the space it allows for being a more productive you.

I have to write HARD STOP time in my daily planner and estimate the time that I will shut my laptop closed based on the tasks at hand that day. Do I usually hit it? Heck no. But when I find myself scrolling or opening another tab because of this idea I had or thing I needed to buy or event I needed to look up…it’s mindless time spent.

I know I’m not making the best use of my time and just trying to fill my time with “productivity.”

Being very intentional with my work time is something I've worked on this year and will be proactive about in the next.

Our value isn't a bottom line

The pandemic has decimated small businesses and while gratefully I didn't see a huge impact the first year, this year has been a bit different. The first things cut in budgets are usually advertising and marketing, so it's understandable. 

I also felt more lost at the beginning of the year than ever. It's no small feat moving from Florida to Michigan to Hawaii while maintaining a business and generally, my flexibility was key. I've survived, even if it means putting in the same grit and effort to often work more for less income than years past. 

My husband’s income is key currently and that really hurts the soul of someone who once took pride in how much she earned and how much she was contributing to the household when he didn’t have one while in medical training. It has affected my self-worth. Still does some days, to be honest. 

As a business owner, you are constantly battling the thought that you could be doing more while also not burning yourself out so much that you don't want to come back to your laptop in the morning.

Add in a pandemic and man, that's been rough. There is always, always, always something more to do or more to learn about doing things more efficiently. Always.

So if you don't stop to take care of yourself, you’ll find yourself crying over broken glass in your kitchen at 10pm at night. (You can read about that here.)

During this wake up call, I had to remind myself time and time again that my worth isn't dependent on the bottom line. I'm a valuable freakin' person with or without the money I bring into our household. You are too.

There's beauty in still getting up, being determined to make this business work when the numbers at the end of your Quickbooks financials aren't where you want them to be. There's a grit in that. So often that's overlooked by landing the big deals. Those are the things to celebrate, right?

But what about getting up knowing today will look exactly like yesterday during a pandemic and still putting in the purposeful effort of trying to make your business work?

Damn, we should celebrate that more.

Slowing down to speed up

I think this is a book. Yup. Actually it is. During frantic days where I feel like my mind is racing with what to do next, I have to tell myself, outloud, “Slow down.”

When I'm rushing to make a sandwich to get back to my desk and frantically finding the bread and lunch meat and cheese and pickles and spicy mustard and knife and plate and…how can we do this faster…and put the sandwich together and put the items back in the fridge and do you want a Diet Coke or no, I should have more water and wait, I forgot to add the cheese! 

In the midst of trying to get all the items back in the fridge I inevitably drop something and spend more time cleaning up the mess than if I had just taken a hot second to make a sandwich. 

“Slow down, Caroline.”

This goes for tasks I think will take FOR-ever and actually don't. If I tell myself to slow down, allot an hour to do it as slowly as I want, it usually doesn't ever even take close to that.

We live in a society where we're judged on how much we get done during a day and this creates such an unnecessary narrative in our heads about moving faster and being more efficient and DID YOU ALSO PUT YOUR ORDER IN FOR CHRISTMAS PIES?! Go! Go! Go!

Phew.

Slow down. 

Nature is healing

As we haven't been able to gather in large groups in Hawaii since we moved here, I've found solace in the alone time of the beauty of where I live. It could be a walk in my neighborhood. Run in the park. Hiking around cliffs. This year more than others, I've realized how much I need to be outdoors to feel a sense of wonder and without sounding too woo, healing. Planting your feet in the grass. Smelling plumeria. Picking the monster Meyer lemons off your lemon tree.

It's grounding. It reminds you how magical this world is and also simultaneously how small you are in this universe. 

Plus, I live on an island where a literal volcano is erupting. Have you ever heard lava moving? I have. It sounds like a methodical whooshing, like a waterfall in slow motion. THAT'S INCREDIBLE. How lucky are we to live on a planet with such remarkable events?

When times get hairy, as they certainly have for every single person on earth this year, it helps to just simply go outside. This is also coming from a person who used to live in the Arctic Tundra, so I know heading out in the cold isn’t exactly awesome. But, even standing on your deck or patio or front steps for a couple minutes, taking it in, is grounding.

Relationships can survive thousands of miles

A huge worry of mine when we moved to Florida for medical school back in 2012, was that the distance would impact some of my friendships. In some instances, it did. But more often than not, those tried and true relationships lasted. 

But a move to Hawaii? 4,500 miles and 5 time zones away? It was a concern, but I’m so grateful for the friends that have bridged the distance and even flown here to visit us! We are incredibly lucky to have such a solid crew that will make the time and effort.

And sends us hilarious pics and videos of their kids asking when they can come to Hawaii. 

Bless.

Now, more than ever, as we bridge the gaps of miles, politics and even the seasons of life, it’s critical to have a solid circle. More often than not, it’s to remind you that you aren’t crazy, but also because this life thing isn’t for the faint of heart. You don’t need a huge crew to remind you either! Knowing that you have even one friend you can both laugh and cry with is soul-healing.

Art is necessary

Fun fact: I used to work in the Art History department at Michigan State University. I even took enough Art History classes that I considered making it my minor. 

When I was younger and laying out my 4-year plan for high school, because that's what you do when you're an overachiever, I had put in enough Art classes to take AP art my senior year in high school. My mother encouraged me to not do that and put in more “practical” classes. She wasn't wrong necessarily, but I really feel a deep connection to art and wonder what my life would feel like with more of it in it.

Cue to this year.

I literally put in my schedule: make art.

Anything from abstract paintings to drawing of pictures I took in Hong Kong and even just staring out my office window wondering what the hell I could create. I don't have any particularly formal training aside from elementary and middle school classes, but simply creating does something to my heart that can't be put into words.

When people talk about getting “in the zone” with their work or even in sports, I think of my time creating art. I get so in the zone that I often forget about time. 

You are not everyone’s cup of tea

I mean, this is the theme of Not Your Average Gal, right? Living your life on your own terms, even if it's waaaaaay beyond the average path people take. 

Someone may not like me, a post I put up, a blog I wrote or hell, that I have an opinion that may be different from theirs.

That's going to happen and sometimes people are surprised by my response to it.

Okay. Good for them. 

More specifically: Good for Her. Not for Me.

(I’ve written about this for years. Here. Here. And here.)

Curate your life, your feed, your circle, your friends, your family, your work, your everyday life into something you love! 

And if that doesn't include me or you, that's okay.

Does it sometimes leave me scratching my head because I'm a ball of freakin' fun? Sure. Does it sometimes hurt? Sure.

But it's not up to me to figure out why someone may talk behind my back, or even block, mute, delete or stop talking to me in real life. 

Guess what? It's not up to you either.

You don't need to waste your time and breath and your precious heart on why people…people. If someone wants to chat with you about it, they will. And for that, come with an open heart and mind. 

Otherwise? Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

Learning not to take something personally unless it’s personally brought to you, is a masterclass in relationships and interpersonal communication.

It also frees up a heck of a lot of time and energy better spent on kinder pursuits.

This year showed me now, more than ever, how important this is considering the divisive environment and quick-to-respond tendencies hurt people are having during a literal pandemic.

Offer grace. Wish them well.

And live your damn life. 

Psst. Sometimes this is exactly what pisses people off. You know, smiling and enjoying your life.

I know it's easy to write off 2021 and I certainly have done as much several times this year.

Sod off, 2021! (Yeah, I yell in an English accent.)

It’s given us a lot of pause to consider what and who is important to us. It wouldn't be me if I didn't at least try to put together some semblance of what we can collectively learn from it. 

I know 2022 has a lot of potential for disappointment as this pandemic seems to be unending.

But, I've got a silly tendency to believe in the magic of this world. I know there are more wonderful moments left to be had.

I've got a lot more living to do too.

Besides…

Next year’s gonna be better than this year
Next year’s gonna be better than this cause
New Year’s Eve comin’ with a fresh kiss and
Next year’s gonna be better than this year
Next year’s gonna be better than this year
Next year’s gonna be better than this cause
New Year’s Eve comin’ with a fresh kiss and
Next year’s gonna be better than this

Next year’s my come up
I’ve been lackin’ but I can feel that it’s the one
All the last three-sixty-five-one sucked
Like God group texted the world and dumped us
Bah, bah, bah, you better watch my bounce back
I’ma be the man in here
Glass to the sky, like we tryna grab the chandelier
I’d like to take this opportunity and toast to me
For bein ‘exactly who I’m supposed to be
‘Cause life is gonna do what life does


I don’t wanna look back and regret who I was
Let go of the expectations and then fire one
Forget the tally sheet before all my time’s up
And I know I gotta roll with it
I’m well aware the universe doesn’t owe me shit
I know that all of this pain leads the growth, I think
That next year’s gonna be better than this (let’s go)

I’m still an optimist, yeah
I got a lot to live on time
Ain’t foolin ‘that shit’
‘Cause next year’s gonna be better than, better than (go)


Next year’s gonna be better than this year (woo)
Next year’s gonna be better than this’ cause
New Year’s Eve comin ‘with a fresh kiss and
Next year’s gonna be better than this

I’m sick of missin’ out, sick of the fear and doubt
I’ma get spiritual soon, live in the here and now
Alone in my room, but you gon’ hear me loud
And clear, let’s start it at the top of the year
I want one last cigarette, one last sip of it
One last secret, one last little bit
One last upper, one last sedative
One last supper with the devil and his relatives
And I was gonna change my ways
I was just waitin’ for that day to pull myself up out of that page
Run that route and make a play, so sick of sittin’ on the bench
It’s finally to get in shape and livin’ like a scrimmage
Thinkin’ that I’ll get another day now, no
I ain’t waitin’ for coach, marchin’ band
I’ma throw and parade in my zone, goddamn
Man in the mirror finally got on, fuckin’ next year
The time is now to press go and I’m gone

I’m still an optimist, yeah (uh-huh)
I got a lot to live on time (yes)
Ain’t foolin ‘that shit’
‘Cause next year’s gonna be better than, better than (go)

Next year’s gonna be better than this year (woo)
Next year’s gonna be better than this’ cause
New Year’s Eve comin ‘with a fresh kiss, yeah
Next year’s gonna be better than this (again)
Next year’s gonna be better than this year (woo)
Next year’s gonna be better than this’ cause
New Year’s Eve comin’ with a fresh kiss and
Next year’s gonna be better than this
Let’s go

Next Years Gonna be Better Than This Year

Performed by Macklemore and Windser
Produced by Ryan Lewis
Songwriters: Ben Haggerty / Brian Wall / Ryan Lewis / Sam Hollander

Not Your Average Gal Services

By

2021 was a year of reframing what sort of impact I'd like to have with Not Your Average Gal.

As most entrepreneurs can attest to, there's a pretty specific pattern: excitement, generating ideas, networking, busting ass, and then maybe an unexpected lull in projects, followed by dread and finally a full-blown existential crisis. Rinse and repeat every 6 months. 

I joined a business mentorship last December and each month, among many other business defining practices, we discussed the nuances of what specifically running a writing business is like. It was the sort of work you do when you want to put a mirror up to your business and examine how you want it to reflect on the world.

One of my goals was to narrow down the services I offered and try new things as a writer that also has a different experience and background with more than just copywriting. 

So, slowly, at my own pace and with that nagging self-doubt rearing it's ugly head every once and a while, I dug into how I wanted to work with clients and the types of services I'd like to offer. I got rid of the old and introduced the new. 

As we peace out to 2021 (gladly, albeit), for the first time in Not Your Average Gal's existence, I'm excited to show you the services I offer here on the blog.

Visibility is key as a small business owner and while I have such a kickass readership—yes, you wonderful soul reading this—many don't necessarily understand what the heck I do for a living outside these blog walls. 

And to think, you and I could work together and we haven't had the chance yet just because I don't talk about it much amongst the backdrop of the blog. 

Let's remedy that, my lovelies.

First, if you're still confused as to what a copywriter is, check this out. It will explain it pretty darn well. A copywriter wrote it, you know.

After resigning from my job as Senior Copywriter and peacing out to the hamster wheel of Corporate America, I expanded Not Your Average Gal from the blog it had been for nearly 10 years, to my main source of income offering copywriting and content writing services.

Over the years, I began tweaking the services I've offered depending on my client or prospective client needs.

What's most interesting, is that within the last year as the Great Resignation has occurred, many of my fierce female pals in the business world have done exactly what I did nearly 4 years ago—left their bosses and became their own by running their own small biz.

That trend had lent itself to expanding my services to also include consultation and strategy because—WHELP—I've been there and done that. Got the scars and tequila tabs to prove it. And man it feels great to help others avoid that!

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Being a small biz owner is overwhelming.

Bounce some ideas off of a small biz owner who has been there.

  • 1:1 consultation for you to ask all the questions
  • Follow-up from me with action items specific to your needs
  • Assistance afterwards, if needed, with: writing those tough emails, creating social media templates, best practices, biz-startup next steps and even breakup letters (a personal fave).
  • Discount package offered for ongoing coaching and assistance with biz tasks

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This year I also introduced my baby:

Not Your Average Gal's Video Bio Service:

It's something I've been wanting to do for years, but didn't quite know how to meld my love of video production with writing. 

Then, one day, while hanging out with newly graduated ER residents and only days before we moved to Hawaii, I had a thought. Specifically about the women my husband finished residency with – we need to hear more about their stories. We need to understand more of the grit it takes to become a physician, and the intricate nuances of being a female in a still male-dominated medical career path.

From there it took about a year of simmering until I came up with it.

A video bio is all about you and your biz so you can connect to your audience, show off your expertise and let your personality shine. I write a script. You shoot some footage. I put the both together in one bang-up showcase featuring YOU. See the full sales page below.

Read More: All about the Video Bio Service.


I still have my regular writing and copywriting services that help define your brand story, get your messaging in tip-top shape and also create the copy you may need from your website to print pieces. 

Take a look at what my regular services looks like.

Website Audits:

These are perfect for biz owners who already have a website up and running but feel like it could use a messaging makeover. Very often when we start our businesses, we don't have the time or budget to hire a professional writer, and more specifically a copywriter, to handle what's written on your website. Then once the ball gets rolling and the biz ball is gaining momentum, you take a look at your site and cringe a bit. 

“Man, that's really not how I'd like it to sound.”

“I know what I want it to say, but not how to write it.”

That's where I step in. 

As a copywriter, I know what to say, how to say it and the best part. Copywriters have the training and experience to use methods that are based on copywriting techniques (meaning: where do people read first on a site, how do I best present pricing?) and best practices for websites based on your brand.

This also means you don't need a redesign! Just a little messaging massaging. Say that 10 times fast.

Woot!

Your Brand Story:

Ideally, you'll want this puppy put on paper before your biz is in full swing. But the reality is, very often we start our small businesses with an idea and then hit the ground running, hoping that some semblance of a brand presents itself. 

I'm here to rescue you from that semblance even if you're years into your biz.

The truth is: Your brand isn't what you think it is, it's what your customers think it is. 

Let's make sure it's telling the right story.  Let's show just how awesome you are in a relatable way full of personality.

Your Brand Story Guide covers precisely what makes your company unique, which also includes your mission statement, brand messaging and even taglines that will clearly and concisely tell your clients and employees who you are. You can use the messaging I create in this guide for so many other things too: About pages, prospective client proposals, new taglines, even social media posts.

Let's get your story on paper professionally and properly.

Testimonials:

This one is FUN because I get to gush about you and your business all day long.

If you clam up when asking customers or clients for testimonials, this service is perfect for you. I create a feedback form for you to provide our clients with tried-and-true techniques (e.g. the right questions to get the answers flowing) and from there, I take it away by creating testimonials for you using their own words.

Your testimonials will be professionally written in a buttoned-up way for you to solidify your expert status wherever you see fit: sales pages, websites, print or just to show to mom so you can prove you do have a job.

This has been a lifesaver for some of my clients!

Other Copywriting Services:

Clients also reach out to me to do: Print pieces, such as brochures or cards. I create all new website copy from scratch. Email newsletter content. Creating copy and content for email nurture sequences or win-backs. Blog content. Video content reviews. Proofreading/Editing.  

The people and brands I work with:

  • Female-owned small businesses
  • Online entrepreneurs
  • Coaches
  • Authors
  • Digital nomads
  • Quick-witted, inclusive brands
  • Anyone located in England
  • Oh yeah, and YOU.

It means a lot to me that the OG Not Your Average Gal readers are here cheering me on. Perhaps I should have shed some more light sooner on what I do outside of creating content for my own blog.

Because if future clients are anything like my current readers, I know we’ll be fast friends. 

Let’s connect!

Take a look at my full scope of services here.

Look at my BRAND NEW Video Bio service here.

I'm accepting 2 clients for the rest of the year or you can get on the docket for 2022!

I’m Here to Validate Your Social Media Break

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Collectively, we've all considered it.

We've all wondered what it would be like to just peace out and go back to the days when our every move wasn't posted in some form on the internet.

Some people we know have even—gasp—done it!

Social media specifically feels so…smoke and mirrors.

You know those yearly holiday cards we get? The ones where everything comes across as hunky dory?

The thing is, our holiday cards, similar to social media, aren't meant to reveal every skeleton in our collective closet.

It's a chance for us to celebrate the small joys with some cheerful smiles. It feels like a brief moment of happiness. I legit look forward to getting cards each and every year.

Especially because they are special. Holiday cards only come once a year.

But, social media is all day. Every day. In yo' face.

While social media for me was a fun space for storytelling, ones that I enjoyed making people laugh with my sometimes entertaining shenanigans. It has, over time, become somewhat heavy. A reflection of the current state of the world, no doubt.

Over the last year, I found myself posting less and less anyway. Feeling a deep need for more privacy and personal space from the seemingly fake social media rat race of it all.

I naively thought that the deliberate misinformation that was occurring on these online channels was actively being checked. Reigned in. Independent investigations acknowledged.

Then, the Facebook whistleblower gave her testimony on Capitol Hill.

And that was it for me.

I knew I needed to step back and take into account how much time I wanted and needed to spend on social media.

The hard truth is, my entire business is based on referrals. There is something magical about that too. Knowing that my work is recommended enough that former clients hand out my name to friends and family is a wonderful feeling.

There is also something demanding about that too. People know me and recommend me often based on what I've written about that has been shared on social media.

Ah, the catch 22 the Zuck knows all too well.

What happened around the time of the Facebook whistleblower hearing earlier this fall was a perfect storm of sorts in my own life anyway.

Life got in my face asking me what the hell I wanted knowing going back to normal wasn't an option, we're now in the new normal. Buckle up. It was the back to basics session that my heart and mind desperately needed.

I quietly left posting on Facebook and Instagram all together.

I put up an away message on both channels in case anyone needed me for business-related projects.

I deleted the apps off my phone.

I checked in on both sporadically via my computer and sometimes, if I'm honest, on my browser on my phone.

But ultimately, the doomscrolling stopped.

My hive mind was quiet for the very first time in years.

I rested while the world carried on.

Without me.

And it was perfectly okay.

There were FOMO times (described below), but legitimately ask yourself: if the people involved in your life are only seeing and interacting with what you post online and not with you outside of that, are those considered close connections? Are those people who will have your back? Are those people who know everything that is going on in your life?

Sometimes the answer is yes! Sometimes it's…debatable.

And it's okay if it's tough to swallow that reality pill.

It's also totally okay to have close online connections with people who aren't in your day-to-day, pick-up-the-phone life. Gosh, I've made some amazing, life changing connections through social networking.

Some have turned into offline friends too!

Some were friends from years past that our only connection now is through social media. Those are wonderful too!

But if you fear going offline because no one will know what's going on in your world, that's a time to take stock of the relationships you have with people who love you.

And for the record, people do love you.

The Plan Going Forward:

In order to maintain some semblance of control over my narrative, you'll be finding more of my entertaining stories on my email list.

You can sign up here.

I'll still be on social media, but in a much more intentional way. My business dictates a presence there and while I'd like to work my way away from that—as others have proved you can—I'll need a bit more time to see how the next few months play out.

That's the full, honest truth.

It would be great to yank that band-aid off, but since so much of my business IS storytelling, (and I sure do love storytelling), most of it often happens on social channels. So, I need to dip my toes back in slowly before deciding if I want water wings to jump back in or to lay permanently on the beach.

The beach sounds good now, doesn't it?

I always maintained that social media was a positive thing in my life as I used it for sharing life anecdotes or entertaining shenanigans, and connecting with other amazing human beings. But if the pandemic showed me anything, it was how nasty people can be when they are hurting.

And the world is hurting right now.

The doomscrolling turned into me doubting the good in the world and that's not a place I like to set up shop in for long.

So I've curated my feed. Deleted the drama. Followed hashtags that bring me joy. And quieted the noise, albeit probably temporarily.

I'm carving out specific times each week to be on the socials and certain times my phone is down and away from those feisty fingers ready to see what your kids dressed up as for Halloween because OMG THEY ARE THE CUTEST!

How To Limit You Social Media Intake:

If you want to start on the path to living a life more in the present and less about sharing what you've had for lunch, welcome!

So many people feel similarly to you. I've been off social media previously, so take these steps from someone who has been there, done that.

  1. If you're someone who posts, start by seeing how often you have the urge to post. Sit with that for a hot second before tip-tapping away on your phone or keyboard. Very often, for me, it was something funny to share, but it took me out of the present and veered the focus car away from a task I was in the middle of. Once you see how often your brain thinks to share, you'll see how much you're missing in real life. From there, limit what you're sharing to the very best or planned content.
  2. If you're someone who stalks. Wait, there's a better way to say that… If you're someone who doesn't post much but lurks, delete the apps from your phone. No, really. (It doesn't delete your content, just the apps themselves.) Think of this like taking away a pacifier from your kid. You're gonna go looking for it a lot in the beginning, but soon after, you realize you don't need it as much. Plus, if you're like me and need to be on the channels for your biz, limit your time initially to having to log in from a computer.
  3. If you're really taking a hard core break like I have, utilize the away message that FB and Instagram allows for business pages. This is what mine said:
    Hey! I’m taking a social media break. If this is work-related or you’re looking for a fun-loving copywriter who knows way too much about the British monarchy, shoot me an email. caroline@notyouraveragegal.com. The world feels heavy right now — know that we’ll get through this too. Be sure to take care of your kind hearts, my loves. 💛
  4. If you need a social channel for the connection to groups (these are the main reasons I still have a FB account), use the news feed eradicator for Chrome, the time limit option on your phones to limit the amount of time you're consuming or use the Freedom app that I love so much.
  5. If you've found yourself doomscrolling again, offer yourself some grace. These applications are literally designed to be addictive. It's totally okay to reverse course once you can feel yourself being sucked back in and try a different route. Maybe those time limits were too short? Maybe you find you like Instagram better? Maybe you want to have a beer with Zuckerberg and ask, “WTF are you thinking?”

What You May Feel After Limiting your Time on Social Media:

Relief.
I don't need to be everywhere, know everything, see all.the.things and consume each picture and post to still be involved in people's lives.

Happiness.
I can curate my real life feed with things like: art, cooking, reading and watching a damn show without scrolling social media.

FOMO.
I've definitely had to tell people I don't know what they're talking about because I didn't see their post. Guess what? It's totally cool. I got filled in and we moved on.

Boredom.
I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands when I'm tasked with filling the time I'd normally be scrolling, with…real life things. The funny thing is, I figured it out pretty quickly by meditating or reading. My resting heart rate also decreased 10 points in just one month of being off and focusing on…me.

Forgiveness.
I've had to promise myself that I wouldn't be mad about seeing how much time I've spent of my life on social media. Once you start seeing it after being off it, it can be upsetting. It's okay!

What To Do Next:

Sign up for my sassy newsletter to get the goodies on what's going down on my side of the Pacific.

Take inventory of what you're consuming. Does it make you feel good? Does it toss you down the rabbit hole of envy, anger or sadness?

Know that with or without limiting your social media, you will be okay.

For me, it boiled down to where I wanted to spend my time and how my body felt about that.

Limiting my social media showed me I made the right choice.

Your “right choice” may be very different.

P.S. To those of you who noticed my absence and reached out to me, thank you. While it seemed I quietly left the social media party like any good Irish goodbye does, it was more-so an intentional signing off on my part. I didn’t feel the need to put up a post about what was going on. Still don't, in fact. That may have felt abrupt based on some of the concerned messages I got. Let me tell you, for a middle child whose parents have forgotten her birthday, you reaching out to say you missed me meant a lot. I see you. I hear you. I love you for saying that I mean something in your life. Thank you. Now, go carry on with your day before I get all emotional typing this out alone on my kitchen island.

The Hawaii Life: One Year in

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It’s beyond hard to believe we moved to Hawaii over a year ago.

One year of gentle waves, coqui frogs, mild (and not-so-mild) earthquakes, a volcanic eruption and, you know, adjusting to life 4,500 miles away from our former home, in the middle of a pandemic—one that your husband is on the frontlines of—and also, just for funzies, toss in buying your first home.

Whew. 

Did you get all of that?

It honestly feels like we just moved yesterday.

I remember exactly what I wore for our 3 long flights, how I packed precisely for ginger kitty to make his Trans-Pacific flight with us and the simultaneous heaviness of saying goodbye, mixed in with pure excitement for the adventures ahead. 

Read more: COVID Travel: Flying During a Pandemic

Many lessons have been learned in this year around the sun. 

I shall indulge you now.

Take your time. Hurry up.

When we landed, we immediately started our 14-day quarantine. This sort of quarantine doesn’t exist now that COVID tests are readily available. But when we moved, we needed to sign legal paperwork when we landed that we wouldn’t leave our home for 14 days in order to prevent the spread of COVID. This isn’t isolation as most people think. This was a stay-at-home order that meant my daily walk to the (empty) mailbox was the most exciting part of our quarantine.

As evidence in my Instagram Stories.

We were not allowed to leave our property for 14 days.

Day 13 of Quarantine.
Up where there walk.
Up where they run.
Up where they play all day in the sun.
Wanderin’ free – wish I could be
Part of that world…

Island time is a very real thing here and when we did get out of quarantine, we found that need to settle into slowing down. Things have happened painfully slow at times.

Getting our DMV appointments, updating car insurance, getting a response to most anything if we had a question about policies or paperwork.

The thing is, it always worked out. Just more slowly than my mainlander heart was used to. Perhaps it’s a gentle nudge that…it always works out how it’s supposed to.

COVID connections

About 2 weeks after we got out of quarantine, Hawaii hit some of their highest COVID numbers still to date (until this past week unfortunately…) and in response, virtually, completely shut down. State parks, beaches, restaurants, most smaller retailers. All closed. We briefly saw our beautiful new hometown a bit before things closed again. We had just gone through nearly 6 months of that in Michigan, so we were as used to it as we could be by then.

Read More: 9 People Share Their Daily Pandemic Schedules

In the brief two weeks we were able to roam socially distanced, we met some of my husband’s colleagues at an outdoor get together for the two new docs that started. I remember how nervous I was because meeting new people is nerve-wracking enough, but doing it during social distancing times felt extra odd. 

*waves at a distance* 

*shouts*

HELLO! NICE TO MEET YOU! I’M CAROLINE. I’M NEW HERE.

We had just gone through some of the toughest moments of our lives in Michigan. The heaviness of the silent hugs my husband gave in our living room after intubating patient after patient will never, ever leave me. Especially when meeting new people. Especially after what we saw and went through. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

My suspicion about our stand-off-ish-ness at that employee welcome gathering was confirmed just recently in recounting that day. I was told they got it after Hawaii shut down. It made sense. We had already seen what they were hopefully trying to prevent by shutting down and knew we were socially distant as a precaution. 

But what happened was those kind connections I made, were put to the side for months and months as we all buckled down trying to prevent a surge on a small island in the middle of the Pacific.

What people don’t understand and my husband can talk about until he’s blue in the face, is that the small Hawaii COVID numbers don’t tell you the full story. Those numbers have to stay low. We’re limited in terms of how we could respond in even a slight surge. From the distance to the next major hospitals to resources to equipment to ICU beds to even healthcare workers. A surge here would be catastrophic. So even a small increase (or relatively low numbers in comparison to the mainland) is cause for concern. 

So, I did what I knew: settled into my work, found some new books to read, started running more consistently again and remained in contact with those close to me on the mainland until things started opening up again by the end of 2020. 

Read More: I Will No Longer Bond over Hating Our Bodies.

Our experience moving here in June of 2020 verses those who moved here even in the fall of 2020 are vastly different. They didn’t have to quarantine (with a negative COVID test) and things had relatively started opening back up a small amount as tourists were once again let in. We saw the beauty and splendor of our new home and then—BAM!

I joke with my husband that people who have moved here after us seem to have more friends. That’s partly to do with timing and also with us as well.  We didn’t feel totally comfortable until we were both partially or fully vaccinated especially because of his line of work. “My husband had another COVID case yesterday, wanna go hang out?” 

Volcanoes and earthquakes-Oh my!

2020 went out with a literal bang. Mt. KÄ«lauea erupted on the evening of December 20, 2020. We felt the initial earthquake in our living room. Did you know Hawaii has hundreds of earthquakes a year? Many aren’t noticeable. But there are some that make you think you’ve had a few too many margaritas as the world sways for a moment.

After we felt the earth shake for a bit, the hubster went to bed so his night-owl wife could watch some trash reality TV and about 20 minutes later he rushed back in to tell me the earthquake was because a volcano erupted.

Of course, we were meant to be driving past Volcanoes National Park where it was erupting the very next morning. OF COURSE. The hubster does some 24-hr calls at a hospital near that region every once and a while. 

I’ll tag along because their team has at a condo which is close to a beautiful black sand beach. It’s been a nice break from the monotony of staying home and working. I just set up shop in a different location. 

Like the mainlanders we are, we imagined lava spewing onto the roads, road closures, mass chaos and a bum rush to the hospitals. PLOT TWIST: None of that happened. We made our way down past the erupting volcano and were just gobsmacked by the power. Just the steam coming up from the park was incredible. And we were seeing this from the road! 

We went to visit KÄ«lauea during the day afterwards and found many gifts alongside the rim meant for Pele, the goddess of volcanoes, fire, and lightning. Weeks later we went to visit the beauty at night and it’s a scene I’ll never forget.

In so many instances while living here, I’m gently (or abruptly in this instance) reminded of my own naive, preconceived notions of the world. Something as seemingly scary as a volcano erupting is a sacred reminder of the land forever changing, moving and adding molten lava to this earth; telling us we are never in control, to respect the ‘aina (land).

Things aren't as expensive …except sometimes they are

The hubster and I have found that when people didn't know what to say about us moving to Hawaii, they usually made negative remarks about it. 

It's so far.

It's so expensive.

Why would you leave 9 months of grey and 3 months of cold and another 3 months of bitter cold?

So, let's dive in.

Yes, it's far. If you live on the mainland.

But a little perspective shift: it's closer for us to travel to Asia and Australia & New Zealand. It's really only an hour longer flight for us to get to the west coast from where we lived in Michigan and it's actually the same length flight from where we lived in Florida to get to the west coast. So there!

Next, the cost of living. It is a fair point, but it's not as expensive as we anticipated. 

I say this with an abundance of love and respect: it's expensive everywhere now, so examine the place you live before making wild rationalizations. By the time we moved back to Michigan for residency, it ended up being so much more expensive for groceries than it was when we lived in Florida for med school. I’m talking at least double the grocery bills. Florida and Michigan housing prices are giving anyone a run for their money right now too. 

We shipped my car and donated his before we left. (That ol' Pontiac G6 got us through med school and residency and eventually sounded like a jet engine every time it started.) So we were a bit surprised by prices the day we got out of quarantine to buy his new truck. They were about 10-15% more expensive than the mainland.

Gas is comparable to prices on the west coast, often less. Property taxes are much lower here. Income tax is higher here. Electricity is the same here for us and even better because we have solar. Plus, we have no A/C or heat so that can save us. Groceries can end up being about 15-20% more expensive depending what you buy. Anything canned and/or processed are higher costs. I even saw a spice in the spice aisle for $14/bottle. Meat can be more expensive, though we've offset that with Costco runs or buying local. Plus, we've countered costs with the bountiful (and cheap) farmers markets. Going out is similar to South Florida prices, so we aren't shocked much. Activities we love are free: hiking, swimming, running, hopefully SUP and kayaking someday soon.

We've found, ultimately, costs do tend to balance out. Some things are more expensive, some things are surprisingly less. If you live a life very dependent on everyday luxuries (oh how I miss just running to Costco for a quick 15 minute trip, rather than it being half of my day) then yes, it will be more expensive. If you're open to being flexible, the costs pan out. 

Aloha kindness

Prior to moving back to Michigan, I posted on a Facebook group for the city we were going to live inquiring about houses to rent as we weren't finding any online. Funny enough, we found the home we rented because of that friendly group.  

I did the same prior to moving to Hawaii, found a local group and posted some questions about moving there: What would you recommend keeping? What would you recommend we bring? Anything you'd like me to bring you from the mainland?

I was smacked in the face with questions about why the hell we were moving there. I was told to stay back in Michigan. Honestly? Truth be told, rightfully so. I should have done my due diligence and been more educated about COVID numbers, as well as the complex issues surrounding people moving here. 

Once I explained we both had jobs (some people move here without jobs and treat the ‘aina and ohana disrespectfully) and my husband was a physician, it seemed to warm the room a bit more. Doctors are needed here as many don't stay long due to many factors including resources, an overburdened system and sometimes missing their families back on the mainland.

What I was also naive about at the time is the deep-rooted, truthful history of Hawaii that I didn’t learn in school. It’s absolutely without a doubt my job to educate myself on the Kingdom of Hawaii; the culture, people and very valid fears they have of people who look like me when we come here.

As things open up more, I’m ready to immerse myself in that education. As I’ve stated previously, the best advice I ever got in all my advocacy work is simply this: shut up, sit back and listen. I’ve learned so much since being here by doing just that.

But, whew. That Facebook post was quite the reality check. Maybe the Aloha spirit is a thing reserved for tourists?

I found out quickly it wasn't. 

A woman saw my post on Facebook and reached out to me mentioning her husband was a doctor too. Turns out, we met him while interviewing and he actually works with my huband! The first day we landed, without a way to return our rental car (we weren't allowed to Uber to get us to our new rental home because of COVID restrictions), they showed up on our doorstep, N95 masks and all, asked for the keys and returned it without hesitation. They even brought us alcohol. ALOOOOOOHA indeed.

She's now my pal that comes around to pick fruit off our trees to bake tasty treats or brew beer and funny enough, they live down the road from our new home.

Through the power of Instagram, I also met one of the kindest people in the world. I started following Living Hilo Style before we even moved because HELLO, she posts a lot about the delicious food in our new home. 

We started chatting via DM and she offered the best recommendations for restaurants, delivery, parks to hang out at and even a bakery to get the hubster's birthday pie. When I saw she was volunteering at vaccine clinics, something I wanted to do but was told I needed a medical background, I asked if they needed more volunteers and they did! So we got to meet in person, where she's introduced me to—hand to heart—some of the best people. I've had so many laughs at the clinics and met so many wonderful people in our community that it really reminded me why an introvert like me can benefit from meeting wonderful people.

The Aloha spirit is indeed alive and well.

As I sit out on our back lanai (that’s what we call our back deck now, you know?) listening to the birds chip and the sun peek through palm trees (oh my god we have palm trees!), I’m having another pinch me moment.

My forever work buddy (and laziest intern alive) enjoys his new view too.

They happen quite often here.

So many times the hubster and I will be driving, sitting silently and peering out the window at our beautiful town, until one of us says, “Can you believe we live here?”

“No, I can’t.”

I’m just so damn grateful that we do.

Here’s to many more pinch me moments.

Talking Story: The Art of Storytelling

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I used to perform commercials in the mirror as a kid. Usually during my bedtime routine and usually to the annoyance of one of my parents. Perhaps as an act to avoid bedtime? Who? Me? Who knows. 

“Brushing your teeth can help make them sparkly. Plus, your dentist will be happy with you.”

“Did you know singing your ABCs while washing your hands makes sure they are clean?”

“You're not fully clean unless you're Zest-fully clean.”*insert elder Millennial advertisement reference here*

My creative shenanigans continued into Tween-dom where I'd write scripts for different plays and my siblings or childhood friends would then perform outside in our backyard. Many were hysterical performances that would surely have been worthy of an Oscar in screenwriting if memory serves me correctly.

In high school and college, short stories, speeches and even essays were one of the better ways for me to properly and effectively express myself. It often felt like leaving a paper trail of my heart's sentiments for any one who wanted to read. 

This very website started as a way for me to show my demo reel and the videos I produced once I finished broadcasting school. (It was originally named Caroline Made This as any of the OG readers will remember.) As it always does, writing and storytelling pulled me enough to add the Blog tab to my website and, as fate would have it, that's how many of you found me here. 

Including my previous job!

After over a decade in advertising and now with a newly minted video broadcasting diploma under my belt, I was offered a copywriting job partly based on my writing skills from this very website. 

A job that took me from a copywriter to senior copywriter to running a department and then leaving to start my own business.

From my writing.

From my storytelling.

It seems the art of storytelling has been etched in my soul for a lifetime.

We flew to Hawaii in January of 2020 so the hubster could interview for a position that he was eventually offered here. 

Yes, right before the entire world shut down. 

Our first few days were a whirlwind. We had interviews in 3 different hospitals across the island. (Yes, they asked spouses to come along for them because ultimately, the spouses are the reason why most doctor families will leave Hawaii. They want to make sure we're happy too. We get interviewed too. NO PRESSURE!) Then a real estate agent showed us around different areas. Then we drove around to check out what we could. Usually by the time we got back to the hotel, we were wiped out, sinking our heavy heads into the pillows, considering how one major decision will set off a domino effect for the rest of our lives. 

When we finally had a day off to digest things and sit down, we decided to head to a famous local fish market that was down the road from our hotel that I had read about. After we picked up our poke, we went outside to find a table to sit. It was a busy hour so the tables were all occupied. 

The hubster and I were just about to say, let's go eat it back at the hotel before we heard a voice say,“Hey, there's room here.”  

We saw an older gentleman gesture to two empty seats at his table. He had been speaking with a lady at a table next to him, so I assumed that he knew her and he would move his seat next to her once we sat down.

As we both sat down and opened up our poke to examine it's local deliciousness, the man asked us which kind we got. He told us the one he was eating he watched come straight off the boat this morning and then laughed.

He continued talking to the woman at the next table until she got up and said goodbye, offering him a kind smile while saying, “It was nice to talk story with you. Maybe I'll see you next time.”

He immediately turned back to us and started chatting.

Wait. He didn't know her?

They just talked and then he offered us a seat at his table?

I was immediately brought back to my time in Bangkok or Hong Kong or London or Tokyo, where you make your way to an empty spot at a table and just order your drinks, even if you don't know the people seated next to you.

“This place is awesome,”I thought.

He continued to chat with us about fishing and asked why we were in town. We told him we were considering moving here and he didn't blink. Just chatted about the weather and warm waves. 

He calmly left when he was finished with his food, wishing us a good stay, telling us he hoped we'd enjoy his hometown.

Even as friendly Midwesterners, the hubster and I generally keep to ourselves when traveling. Sure, we're friendly, but our overall feeling is we're visitors; it's best to remain observant of cultures, traditions, behaviors and then proceed with caution, often only when asked or invited.

Being in Hawaii felt like a scene out of the Truman Show. Everyone offered a kind smile and talked story with us. Would we hit the end of the ocean on our way home and find out this was a TV set all along? 

I can happily attest that didn't happen.

In fact, we moved to this wonderful place!

A place that, now, when people come over to our home, they talk story with us in our hallway by the front door before leaving.

It's not small talk either.

You know, the kind of small talk that makes introverts' skin crawl. That kind of chatter is just filled with the everyday pleasantries of how they are doing or what the weather is like.

Nope, not talking story.

While talking story can still be quick conversations, I've enjoyed them so much more than the small talk of brushing shoulders with an acquaintance in the moment.

Talking story in our hallway has become part of our home. From the painter telling us how many grandchildren he was excited to see later that week, to a contractor sharing his tips for adjusting to the move here and then our neighbor gently teaching us how to pronounce the names of crossroads we live at while explaining who they were named after and how important they are here.

It’s not too intrusive.

It’s just the right amount of genuine interest.

It’s a sincere connection.

Talking story is a gentle kindness.

It’s the sort of storytelling this world needs.