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Not Your Average Gal

Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Funny

Just Picked up my Inhaler

January 27, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

ramona

Yup. I went to the doctor and all I got was this lousy inhaler.

I explained that my cough and snot rockets weren’t really improving much over the last few weeks and that normally, I’d give it more time and let this viral whatever take its course. But I had a half-marathon that I was training for and it’s made it difficult to breathe after 3 miles. So I was concerned.

The conversation basically went like this.

Doc: Well it could be that running outside in the cold is irritating your lungs.
Caroline: It’s only been 60 degrees for 2 days.
Doc: Yes, well running and the sudden temperature change can all contribute.
Caroline: I’m originally from Michigan.
Doc: Okay, so running in general.

All my vitals came back great. My blood pressure is pretty stellar, I call that a win for being a copywriter. Plus, more importantly, my lungs sounded very good and clear, basically negating any chest x-ray. She said that what’s been going around is pretty nasty and I’m doing pretty well with letting it work its way out.

If I could take time off from running, do it or walk instead of run. She told me to use this inhaler prior to my runs and see if that helps open the airways more. If not, I just need to let nature take its course with this one and continue to be that girl hacking up her left lung.

coughing

I looked at my RunKeeper app last night to compare times from early December to this month. I have slowed down a bit, but not as much as I had thought and surely not enough that I should be too hard on myself about. That’s the thing about not breathing as well as your normally do during a run—you think you’re doing worse than you actually are.

I haven’t used the inhaler yet because I took tonight off from my conditioning run. I’ll be sure to be totally obnoxious when I do use it though.

inhaler

The hubster says that it’s unfair I get an inhaler because it’s a performance enhancing drug. I said I’d take a hit of it and see him at the finish line.

Filed Under: Funny, Health, Running

2014 Year in Review

December 30, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

2014 was the year I decided to take the reigns and revamp this here blog. In July, I hit “Publish” and I’m so glad I did. I want to take a brief moment and thank you for your readership and encouragement. Redesigning the blog wasn’t an easy task, but writing, well, writing is something I love and having you as an audience made the redesign that much easier.

So, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Let’s review what you guys read, what you guys liked, what you guys said and also some of my favorite things from this year. Sorry, it’s not like Oprah. I’m not giving you thousands of dollars worth of my favorite things. Just some kick ass writing!

2014 Year in Review

Top Posts

  1. Sport Bra Review for Big Boobs
  2. When Weight Holds You Back
  3. La Gordita
  4. You Will Always be too Much of Something for Someone
  5. Lay off me I’m Starving

It looks like you find something relatable about body image or weight struggles. Oh and boobs. You guys like boobs. It also didn’t hurt that Enell posted my blog on their Facebook page!

Funny enough, I get asked IRL (In Real Life, for all you non-geeks) about traveling much more than anything else. That doesn’t show up in the top 5, but still ranks in posts. If you want me to write more about travel, pipe up or comment and as always, share this blog with any friends.

Most Searched Terms

  1. Slutty Costumes
  2. Be soft do not let the world make you hard
  3. Costume castle eskimo costume
  4. Bear with me
  5. Caroline Made This

I know. I know what you’re thinking. What in the…? You see, there was a funny post I wrote in 2012 around Halloween about the most ridiculously slutty Halloween costumes and how absurd I found them. People still search for that shit. And people somehow still land here. Hi pervs!

Top Social Network Referrals

  1. Facebook
  2. Pinterest
  3. Twitter
  4. LinkedIn

Pinterest was a surprise. I definitely should be adding more of my “How To” tutorials that I used to post here.

Top Countries Trying to Hack My Site

  1. China
  2. Ukraine
  3. Brazil

Yes, nerd-jerks try to hack my site and put lines of code for malware. It’s not uncommon for anyone who has a site. I work hard to protect this here blog.

Favorite Comments

Great video from the TSA! I hope we don't have to start taking our ice skates off at security now though… That would really slow me down. – Kendra on Off to the Frozen, Cold Tundra

people seem to be on their worst behavior when they are in airports or airplanes…very selfish and irrational! everyone besides me of course. :) – kristin on How to Survive Holiday Travel

Love that you are just so real. I'm patiently waiting for a publisher or screenwriter to snatch you up. xoxo – Judi on You Will Always be Too Much of Something for Someone

You clearly cared enough to comment. Feel free to take your rude comments elsewhere. — care's actual friends who don't need to hide behind fake names – Jennie on Lay Off Me I'm Starving

Bitch is the new black, baby! Don't ever change. :) – Emily on The Bitch List

…I'm glad you read it and connected with me. I followed your link, found your blog and I couldn't stop reading. You are hilarious! Your hubby is one lucky man. I'll be following your adventures on Twitter and Instagram. – James on Travel Woes: Delayed Baggage & Stolen Goods

The only real danger in wearing the dress is that you might start a fire. SMOKIN' HOT, GUUURL. – Rheyn on When Weight Holds You Back

Obviously, flattery will get you everywhere with me. Thanks for all the comments this year, even those that didn’t “make the cut.”

Biggest Achievements

Running my first half-marathon

Traveling solo in Portugal for a couple days

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Adjusting to the hubster’s 3rd year of med school clinical rotations

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Writing this here blog

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Advancing in my job as a copywriter

(No pics to protect the innocent.)

Favorite Moments

Shenanigans at Disney with these weirdos

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Meeting this nugget

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4th of July festivities

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Meeting up with these gals in Spain

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When the hubster surprised me on Thanksgiving

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8.5 miles with my favorite

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Healthy Habits to Continue

Pushing the negative away

meryl2

Getting out of my comfort zone

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Being happy with me

moon

Letting go of unreliable friendships

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Moving towards minimalist

less

Taking a different path

path

2014 was a pretty killer year, wouldn’t you say? During all of it (from July to December), I was happy to share my good times and (some) bad with you here.

Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing in my love of writing. Truly, thank you.

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Here’s to another great year and more adventures in 2015!

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Filed Under: Confessions, Funny, Musings, Soapbox

A Holiday Change of Heart

December 18, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

I had a whole wonderfully witty but sad post written earlier this fall about why I hated the holidays. I was ready to post it when some nagging feeling kept telling me to wait. I try to listen to these nagging nuggets of wisdom as much as I can. So I waited. And waited.

I’m glad I did. Because something happened this year that has taken me by surprise.

I’m actually fucking enjoying the holidays.

omg

It’s started at Thanksgiving this year when I had an incredibly good time with family. Who knew?!

Okay, back up the train. Maybe it started last year, when the hubster and I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together in our new home in Florida. We had just gotten back from our honeymoon in Southeast Asia. We didn’t decorate anything. We didn’t travel anywhere. We had no guests. We ordered Chinese food. We watched football. We cried over a glass of wine after a family member pulled a fast-one on us again. Oh wait, no. No, that was me. That was only me.

But you know what? It was one of my fondest holidays until this Thanksgiving.

I never quite understood, as an adult, how the holidays could be so magical for people. Dare I say, I was even, cynical about it.

No. Who, me?

In complete honesty, there are some pretty legit reasons why the holidays have sucked for me that I won’t go in depth about. In a nutshell, the holidays have always been a mixture of feeling like an inconvenience and when I was younger, being shuffled around seeing who I could go visit. I still try to coordinate schedules and am finding that since we don’t have kids, we have very little pull over who will come see us. This may be our reality from here on out or we may have to resort to begging?

That’s a good reason to have kids, right? Presents and shit.

This year, I really focused on the wonderfully supportive people I have in my life. I reminded myself again, that I’ve been given a chance to start my own traditions, create my own less drama-filled holidays. I absolutely love that feeling!

We may be small, but I have my own little family of three, if you include my overweight, ginger cat. Said ginger cat also looooooves being dressed up for the holidays.

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I love our little family. We create some hysterical memories. One of the best things about meeting my husband has been the life we’ve brought together, just the two of us…and said ginger kitty.

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Just another Sunday morning around here.

I wanted to celebrate and embrace this newfound love of the holidays, so I busted out our holiday decorations. Remember how I didn’t even want to decorate for Halloween? What is happening to me?

grinch

I noticed, quickly, that I donated a majority of items a couple years ago. So, of course, I had to go to Target to get more. Then, the hubster was on-call on a Friday, so I went back to Target after work…and got more.

I was Clark fucking Griswold. I just couldn’t stop!

I spent the evening drinking wine, listening to Christmas music and decorating with all my new and old goodies. (It all still fits in 1 Rubbermaid bin, my practical mind wouldn’t allow too much.) I think the results are quite pretty!

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The hubster keeps walking around our place saying, “I really like all the decorations, honey.”

Maybe he just likes that I’m not totally annoyed by the holiday season and I’m actually pretty happy.

And I have to admit it…I am too.

smiling

Happy Holidays, guys!

Filed Under: Funny, Musings, Soapbox

Sports Bra Review for Big Boobs

November 23, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

You know those skimpy camisoles with built-in bras?

Ha!

How about strapless bras?

Ha!

Going bra-less?

Ha! Better not be next to me if I turn around too quickly, you could be knocked out.

Over the years, I guess I’ve learned to love my big boobs and the hassle that comes with them. They were one giant embarrassment (well, two…) in middle school and high school. I swear, I just woke up one morning and immediately hopped from a training bra to a wired C-cup. In middle school! And they just kept growing. But whatever, I’m rocking them now. I mean, half my schtick is about big boobs, so the world would be a totally less fun place without them.

The path to a perfect sports bra:

The one area that I did struggle with was in the sports bra department. I look back at some of the flimsy, cotton sports bras I wore and cringe for my poor boobies and the beating they took. I totally understand why some ladies wear TWO sports bras, nothing just seemed supportive enough.

I once competed in a triathlon and noticed some girls just ran and biked in their swim suit from the swimming portion. Ha! Hahaha. I remember explaining to the associate at Macy’s that I needed a sports bra that I could wear under my wet suit, that would still function for the biking and running portion of the triathlon.

Poor thing had no idea what to do with my triathlon titties.

About 7 years ago, I discovered the Enell Sports Bra. I don’t know if it was because my big breasted sister, Oprah, endorsed it or what, but once I wore an Enell, I never went back. And no, I’m not being paid to endorse Enell. I just want to share the love because I understand the big-boobed struggle.

enell sports bra

Wearing it at first was weird because it was so supportive. I wasn’t used to it. Your breasts are literally propped up to a position they probably haven’t seen since your teenage years. Not only are they held up, they are now in a boob compartment that is flexible enough to let you breathe, but firm enough to make sure those puppies don’t move.

Best part? No uni-boob!

enell3

It’s not exceptionally pretty. But honestly, I’m not the gal who prances into a gym with just my sports bra on, so I really don’t care. The seam that goes across the front can often be seen if you’re only wearing a thin tank top, but again, I really don’t care and if it’s supporting my girls, I’m cool with it. I lovingly joke that it’s my bullet proof vest because you put it on like a vest and then hook it together on the front. Once “hooked in” your lady twins are standing up so tall that you’re basically a bonafide Fembot.

fem

I love it!

I also have the new Enell Lite that I wear around the house or during yoga. It’s supportive enough for lighter exercise.

They have a different sizing system, that you can explore more on their site. Basically, be honest with your measurements and you’ll fall into a size 00-8. I wear a size 3 with Enell. To give you an idea, depending on the brand, I can vary between a 34 or 36 FF or G cup. When I complain about the hard time I have finding a regular bra because of my cup size, the hubster reminds me that FF and G stands for Freakin’ Fantastic and Gorgeous. He’s pretty swell.

For years, I could only order Enell through their website, but now you can find them pretty much anywhere. Woohoo! I even saw them at my local running store this past weekend when I went to get new running shoes for my half-marathon coming up.

Sure, they are probably more expensive than the flimsy sports bras. But guess what? So are breast lifts! You don’t want to need that surgery because you saved a few bucks on a cheaper sports bra. It’s an exaggeration, sure, but you get my point. I own 4 and it’s well worth the investment.

I honestly can’t imagine running now without it on. Truth be told, it has made a world of difference in any athletic activity I participate in and looking back, that’s a lot. From triathlons, to 5Ks to 10Ks to half-marthons, gym sessions and soccer games thrown in between. My boobs are happy to have an Enell Sports Bra.

Half Marathon photo bombing husband
Half Marathon photo bombing husband

Go make your boobs happy and get one. Then tell me how much you love me for telling you about it.

You’re welcome, big-boobed gals. You’re welcome.

 

Filed Under: Funny, Health, Running

Lay Off Me I’m Starving

November 11, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

In training for my upcoming half marathon, I’ve increased my running a lot over the course of this past month. Even brought in my fastest pace for the 4-6 mile range.

Don’t worry, kids. It’s still moderately slow. I’m not breaking any land-speed records here. I’m usually just a bit faster than my elderly neighbors who use walkers. Usually.

But guess what, I still freakin’ running! I’m not too concerned with opinions about my slow speeds.

All that said, with the increased mileage and pace, my appetite is ravenous.

layoffme

I want to eat allllllllllllthefoods.

burrito

When coworkers ask me how training is going, I think they’re surprised I have an 8 mile run next weekend. Why? Because I usually can’t even answer since I’m too busy stuffing my face.

mrbean

This happened last year when I was training, so it’s really no surprise. But it’s sort of counterproductive to weight loss after a 6.5 mile run to be shoveling Halloween candy in my mouth like I have an army of children to protect from their teeth rotting, so I take one for the team and eat some Reese’s peanut butter cups for the kids and maybe some Nerds for the kids and maybe some Hershey kisses…for the kids. You know, for the kids.

nocake

I digress…

I really need your help here.

What type of foods would you suggest for this increase in appetite? I’m looking for quick, filling snacks!

I know proteins over carbs, but let’s be honest you guys, carbs aren’t da debil and some of you go overboard with PROTEIN IN ALLLLLLL THE THINGS ALLLLL THE TIME.

arnold

I also will not be doing any chemical-filled bullshit. You hear me?  The only protein powder shake/drink I use is a plant based protein and I lover it.

IMG_6732
Vega One 4 Eva

Yes, lover it.

So help a sista’ out. What type of foods would you suggest? Maybe I haven’t thought of some options that you guys would have great suggest…OMG IS THAT HUMMUS?!

starving

Filed Under: Funny, Health, Recipes, Running

Sobertober Update

October 19, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

I have 11 days and 3.5 hours left of Sobertober. But who’s counting?

Jokes.

Sadly, there isn’t much to report. It’s certainly been different watching football with the hubster without a beer. I also had to turn down Happy Hour with my fabulous female coworkers. They even posted pictures which made me insanely sad I wasn’t there. Truth be told, I didn’t go because we finally got time to sit down and do our finances and I didn’t want to delay that anymore.

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What? How do you guys do your finances?

View on Instagram

It was a RIVETING Friday night.

That said, it has made me realize how “easy” it was for me to just pour a glass of wine when I got home or after a long week. It had become a habit and while kept in moderation, it’s still not a great habit to have. I feel like I can hear one of my dear friends, Stacey, yelling at me right now. “THEY SAY A GLASS OF RED WINE IS EQUIVALENT TO WORKING OUT. Sheesh.”

I also haven’t exactly been having a stress-free month. So that bottle of port wine I brought back from Portugal is just stare-ing at me. Jerk.

The Sobertober Good

  • I can wake up at 5:30 am on a Sunday to go for a 4 mile run on Ft. Lauderdale Beach and see this:

Sobertober Update

And this:

Sobertober Update

And this:

Sobertober Update

  • I’ve been able to focus on getting back on track with running and meal prep because I do feel a bit cleaner not drinking. (I’ll blog about meal prep later this week.)
  • I go to the pool without a fruity margarita and survive!

The Sobertober Bad

  • I’ve taken to eating ice cream more (see above)
  • I have had Diet Coke way more than I care to admit as a replacement
  • The social aspect. Saying “no” to a beer or shot turns heads. Maybe I should surround myself with different people. I’m looking at YOU bad influencers. ;)

So that’s the dealio-yo. I’m sure I’ll write a conclusion after all of this to let you know if my skin is glowing or I’ve suddenly dropped 25 pounds or I’m swearing off the stuff for life.

After I have a glass of that port wine, that is.

Where are all my participants who told me they were joining Sobertober with me? How you doin’?

 

Find out how I did:
Sobertober Conclusion

Filed Under: Confessions, Funny, Soapbox

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