Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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That the Powerful Play Goes on and you may Contribute a Verse.

By

robin willliams

I gasped. Audibly gasped.

We were watching CNN before making dinner when it was announced Robin Williams died, by taking his own life.

I have a range of emotions; the one speaking the loudest is heartbreak. Heartbreak for his family, heartbreak for his craft, but most of all, heartbreak for his suffering.

My friend, Joyce, nails it. She’s fantastic.

It seems incredibly cliché and very simplistic, but the saying is accurate: everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Even if they seem to have it all. Thinking happiness comes with success is a symptom of our society as a whole.

I realize I’ve written about depression before and it seems egocentric to link it here at this moment. Suffice to say, it’s an ugly disease that can slowly seep into every fiber of your being. It can take hold at unexpected times, tightly.  Suffocating your personality, numbing your reactions. Even if you have checked all the boxes off to living the standard, lovely life, often there’s an empty unchecked box that leads to comfort in your mind and heart.

I’m sad today. Sad for the loss of life and sad that the stigma still exists for depression. So much so that people callously scoff that someone with seemingly so much wealth could take his own life. The key word in that sentence is “seemingly” and what your idea of wealth is.

What you deem as painful, what you deem as manageable circumstances, could be completely different for another person. I know there’s a bigger connotation there, but the sooner we realize that simple fact, the easier it will be to openly talk about depression.

If you’re dealing with depression and need help, please reach out. I, along with many others, would be more than willing to help. Honestly. Knowing you aren’t alone, is incredibly validating. If talking to a third party seems more comforting, please use this number: National Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1-800-273-8255

I was entirely too young to watch Dead Poets Society, but I’m thankful I did. As a child, I often thought my creativity was weird, but I knew even at that age it was a defining part of who I was. Now as an adult and writer, albeit an amateur one, those sentiments still hold true. I’ll forever love this scene because of that.

Thank you for your verse, Mr. Williams.

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And, the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, ‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless — of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these O me, O life? Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.’ That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.
What will your verse be?”

C’mon Scale!

By

It’s no surprise that weight is a struggle of mine. Or maybe it is a surprise to you and for that, I say THANK YOU.

This week was pretty discouraging. I started Weight Watchers back in May because 1) the scale wasn’t budging and 2) I had a lot of upcoming travel, which for me can easily throw off my routine and equal weight gain.

I wanted some control back. So happily begrudgingly, I went back to Weight Watchers. I had great luck with it in college during my freshman year and dabbled in it a couple times after college. That sounded like a drug….I dabbled here and there…

So this week after being spot. on. with my meals and points, I hopped on that scale and saw I only lost .4 pound. Like, a little less than half a pound. Like, I take poops bigger than that.

You’re welcome.

I eat pretty darn healthy in general, so when I’m super, duper extra keeping-my-eye-on-the-prize-AND-SKIPPING-HAPPY-HOUR-WITH-COWORKERS and the scale still doesn’t move?! tumblr_mesl222Jcx1ql5yr7o1_400 Breathe. So instead, I put a smile on my face and looked at the group leader and said, “I’ll take it.” Because in all honesty, I will. I have to, have to, have to, have to, trust the process.

I’m a glutton for punishment with vicious cycles of feeling like I “should have” lost more and then giving up for the next few days. Then, when a moment of inspiration (read: Britney Spears’ abs) hits, I’m simultaneously gung-ho and pissed I have to begin at the starting line again. So, I’m taking it like this. If I hadn’t joined WW back in May, I most likely would still be at the weight I was, or worse, have gained weight.

The 5.9 pounds I’ve lost since May seems SO LAME. I know. I KNOW. There’s women and men in my groups that have lost 20 pounds since then! I don’t have a goal weight set in mind and perhaps that’s part of the problem. But the truth of the matter is, I just want to be feel more comfortable with myself.

I’m sitting here at my pool typing this. I hate myself too… And I don’t have a beach cover on. I’m sitting here with my thick, muscular thighs and stomach out for the whole world to see. I’m shockingly fine with it. But that’s been a process in itself. I want to feel more comfortable and healthy overall.

I know I’ve accomplished more than most with this body. Shit. I did a half-marathon this year, something I would have LAUGHED at after my first 5K years ago. I want to both respect that about my body and also be the best version of me. That probably means I have about 20-25 pounds to lose. Even then, I’m not the “ideal skinny”, but I’m okay with that. Just like I’m okay sitting here with a lady staring at my boobs.

Yes, they’re real, schnookums.

That’s what this whole process is about, right? Striving for better; a constant evolution of self. Keep on, keepin’ on. Gotta get back to it.

If I stop now, where does that get me? It gets me back in the dressing room doing the squatty jeans dance. You know? Suck, zip, squat. Suuuuuck. passout I can do this.

What motivates you to stay on track? What’s your biggest weight struggle? If you don’t have any, that’s cool. Here’s the door.

Follow Me

By

cup of tea

One of my favorite bloggers posted a picture on Instagram of her wearing a shirt with this saying on it and well, you know, that shit is right up my alley.  (You can also buy the sign here if you so desire.)

Speaking of bloggers, I tend to find most of the blogs I follow through social media. I’m a big fan of Instagram right now. It’s been a huge motivation while losing weight.

I promised myself I would gradually work on the backend and design of this site while I was posting. If I waited until I thought it was designed perfectly…menopause would be knocking at my door. (Note to self: this isn’t a time to jinx yourself…)  So, while I’m working on getting a line up of posts written and painstakingly choosing fonts and colors designing the site, take a look at all my pages. You’ll often find a more unfiltered version there.

I know! It IS possible.

Facebook <—- this is the newest baby! So excited.

Instagram

Twitter

 

Girl, just be you.

By

So, I’m at a resort getting my nails done.

Ha. I just wanted to type that out to see how snotty it sounded.

Anyway, back to staying at a resort getting my nails done…

We celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary this past weekend by taking a quick staycation at the PGA National Resort and Spa. I’m a good wife  and thought we could go to a golf resort for my husband. I golf, but not enough to feel prepared to take on these courses. I know my limits- these things are beasts. Back to me being a good wife. I knew he’d like the golf resort even if it’s not one of my favorite things. Oh yeah. I’m sorta also taking off for Spain and Portugal in a month, so I’m not exactly deprived. But let’s play up this good wife thing, shall we?

So while the hubster was golfing I decided to get a mani/pedi. They have a spa with tons of treatments and massages but the thought of a stranger rubbing my body strikes fear in every corner of my mind. BUT WHAT IF THEY TOUCH MY BUTT?!

butt

I’ve got mad problems.

So a mani/pedi it is! I painstakingly chose my colors, went completely out of my realm and chose bright pink for my toes and bright coral for my fingers. Basically, I got the colors I always get. When the nail lady (I’m sure there’s a more endearing term than that but it’s all I got) came back she said, “Oh, you want that for your toes and that for your fingers? Two different colors?”

I’m thinking, “Lady, I can’t remember the last time my bra and panties matched. What’s your problem?”

I smiled nicely, not taking it personally, and said something along the lines of I usually choose bright colors.

She then continued, “Well usually women who have short finger nails go with a lighter color.”

Uhhhh…Not me.

I could feel the silent judgement. Whatever. I’m gonna rock my coral freakin’ nails.

When I was finished, she led me to a nice waiting area so I could try really hard for 10 minutes not to screw up my wet nails. The wet nail mime dance is always entertaining. Getting our keys out of our purse suddenly becomes bobbing for apples- we’re using elbows and teeth to not botch up our newly done nails.

While I was sitting waiting, a woman who has an “eyebrow station” was setting up for the day nearby. She immediately stopped and said, “Wow. I LOVE that color on your nails. Good choice.”

ARE YOU LISTENING JUDGMENTAL NAIL LADY?

I said, “Funny enough, I was just told that women with short nails usually go with lighter colors.”

Then, the nicest-eyebrow-lady-in-the-world-in-the-history-of-ever, without skipping a beat said,

“Girl, just be you!”

Damn straight.

photo 1
Happy 1 year, husband!

 

Anniveresary
Orrr…Happy AnniverEsary! I had to take a picture of it. I’m a copywriter!

What to Expect

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This site was originally created to serve as a place to put my portfolio and contact information for my video, writing and marketing work. I wanted my site to be a place for potential job opportunities, even if it was in far-off places. Over time, I found that most people were coming to read my blog. (Thanks Google Analytics) And it's funny how life turns out because years later, I find myself in a totally different warm climate with palm trees and year-round sunshine…as a copywriter.  While I didn't specifically move to Florida for my current job, life seemed to mold into that direction. As it needed to be, perhaps.

I've talked a lot about how I'm revamping things and going to change the name of this blog. Are you excited?! Get excited. This is like peanut-butter-on-chocolate exciting.

So what can you expect from this place now? More focus.

Travel

If you had asked me 20 years ago what my favorite thing to do was, I'd tell you it was traveling. Today? Traveling. I've been to some pretty freakin' neat places, especially recently. I went to England (to get married no less, because that’s totally normal), Scotland, Thailand and Cambodia last year. Up next month: Spain & Portugal!

I want to tell you about them. Down to how I got there, how I afford it, where to go, where to stay, what to expect and more importantly why it's imperative to travel and see the world.

Cambodia Angkor Wat
In Cambodia at Angkor Wat

 

A Standard Life

My father got up at our wedding and talked about how I have always been and forever will be the girl who thinks outside the box. At first, I was like, what the heck, Dad?! I'm doing something so “normal” here for once, I'm getting married! But he's right. The last thing I want to be is a lemming and get caught up with the often miserable cycle of keeping up with the Joneses. If you've followed my blog in the past, you know I've been cornered before about my life choices and how they don't fit the mold.

The American standards of success are very different than mine.

"And she refused to be just like everyone else."
“And she refused to be just like everyone else.”

Health

I ran a freakin' half-marathon this year and you know what? I didn't lose a damn-flippity-fucking pound. I didn't gain any weight either. Same thing happened when I trained for and completed an Olympic-distance triathlon. What gives, dude?! I'm down 5.5 pounds total now and aim to keep that number dropping. Throwing that out there isn't easy for me, but damn, it makes it real and accountable. That feels good!

I want to blog about my goals, nutrition, workouts and overall body-image issues, especially for women.

Half Marathon photo bombing husband
Half Marathon photo bombing husband

Life Observations

I once wrote a post about leggings not being pants and apparently it resonated with you people. That's what you'll find here still. Like, for instance, when an older lady at our pool (did I mention we live in FL and there's lots of fun, old people) told my husband, who is in his 3rd year of medical school, that he should go into Psychiatry because…wait for it…”there's lots of nuts running around here.” I can't make this shit up.

So I'll blog about it.

News

I'm a news junkie. In a past life, I wanted to be Barbara Walters. I even went back to school for broadcasting. I enjoy knowing whats going on and get beyond frustrated with people who are purposefully apathetic to the world around them because their own world is that much more important. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but that's exactly how it's perceived when you have no idea what's going on in your own country, let alone across the world. It's not all doom and gloom. I fully believe in the human spirit. That's what you'll find here.

Women

Yes, my fellow lady-pals. I can't tell you how many times I've said if we just SUPPORTED each other this world would be capable of so freakin' much more. I'm no angel, but MAN (pun intended) some of you ladies are nasty, unsupportive, miserable people to one another. I don't get it, so I'm going to openly talk about it. Right here. The male ding-a-lings (pun intended) are welcome, too. We're not gender exclusive ‘round these parts (pun intended).

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I’m also looking into having guest posts for any of the above subjects, even other subjects if someone so desires and I approve. Just hit me up. I'm sure this site will be ever expanding, but that's the game plan for now.

You'll find pretty consistent funny ramblings on my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter pages. Follow them. I'm a good time! Wait. That didn't come out right…

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning

By

Caroline Made This 1

Even figuring out this first sentence is tough. I'm a copywriter by trade and an over-thinker by nature. Therefore, figuring out how to “start posting” again involved much time, tequila and hitting the delete key.

So, let's just rip the Baid-Aid and start this here thing!

What's been the hold up, you ask? The hubster asked me the very same thing while sitting at our favorite hole in the wall bar. I have so many ideas and so many things I want to do with this site, that I surprised myself by immediately tearing up and letting the plethora of fears about re-starting spill out. It also could have been the 9% ABV beer, but I digress…

In my diatribe of fears, it basically broke down to this.

Fear of failure

What if they laugh at me? No, seriously. I was the kid that wore a freakin' wallpaper outfit to the first day of school in 5th grade. THAT'S A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY.

CMT3
Braces, too.

Fear of success

What if I get offered a lucrative deal to be Prince William's baby's nanny? Just as serious as fear of failure is the fear the unknown opportunities that arise with success. Since I don't know what those could be, I fear them. I need things planned, people. Planned.

Fear of offending someone

What if someone takes what I write personally? I mean, sometimes I swear. As in, use foul language. And shit, people can get bent out of shape about that shit. They could take something to heart and hold it against me FOR-EV-ER.

CMT 2
FOR-EV-ER.

(Because that's super helpful.)

Fear of not being true to myself

What if I feel like I'm holding back because they may think I'm weird or worse…fat and ugly! We all know those are the worst things to be in life… Secondary note: what if they don't know sarcasm?

Fear of responses

What if people get nasty? I've been the subject of punchlines. Some people will forever roll their eyes at everything that's posted. But you're still reading, SUCKAS.

So back to the 9% ABV beer…

While the hubster just blankly stared for a bit at me, he finally let out an exasperated:

WHO CARES?!

He's right. I know he's right. Every fiber of my being knows he's right. And I didn't need him to tell me that. I just needed someone to give me a reality check. Husbands are good for that.

While I've grown leaps and bounds towards not worrying, sometimes fear takes hold. But you know what feels better than fear? Turning off the filters and showing the world just who I am. It feels awesome. So here I am. (Rock you like a hurricane?) Take it or leave it.

(I'd take it. I'm pretty cool.)

So here's to not caring.

To starting from the very beginning…again.

Welcome back.