Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Year in Review: The Highs (and Lows) of 2017

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2017, eh? What a year. I say that with both optimism and utter exhaustion. I’m ready to ring in 2018, happy to be ushering in a wealth of change that a new year brings.

The Highs

Cuba

Things to do in Havana Cuba

Once regulations were lifted (that are now back in place), we knew we needed to head to that wonderful island that is only 200-ish miles from Miami. We weren’t disappointed. We found welcoming locals, amazing food, a heartbreaking and resolute history and most of all, a yearning to go back and explore more. I hope someday the sanctions are lifted once again.

The Women’s March in DC

November left the majority of the country surprised and as I picked my jaw up off the floor, I was left wondering what I could do. When I heard of the Women’s March, I immediately booked a room and asked from friends to join. It was one of the most uplifting, positive experiences of my entire life. Not only that, I joined our local chapter in Florida and am now lucky enough to call some incredible women my friends.

Niagara-On-The-Lake

Niagara on the Lake Winery Niagara-on-the-Lake Winery Ravine Vineyard

NOTL was a huge surprise for me, probably because I had zero expectations. But, what an incredibly beautiful, charming town. We spent days just biking around, vineyard to vineyard and topped it off with great views of Niagara Falls and Toronto.

London

Reasons Why I Love London Reasons Why I Love London

London turned out to be the breath of fresh air I needed and quick reminder of the things that are important to me. I love that city so much and I can’t wait to share more about our week there with you crazy lot.

Creating Connections

Because of the Women’s March (see above) and Mean Girls (see below), I’ve been lucky enough to develop relationships or deepen already existing ones. It’s been refreshing, to say the least, to know I have steadfast pals or new friends who are just as fierce in wanting to be trailblazers.

Exciting News

I really despise when bloggers or writers talk about something spectacular that is coming up and only allude to it in a vague way. But here I am… Stay tuned, I’ve been working hard at something and will be excited to announce it soon.

 

The Lows

Traveling Under a Trump Presidency

I traveled to 3 countries this year and found myself having to explain our newly elected president in each one, completely unsolicited. I’ve been traveling abroad since I was a teenager and I can say that even during the Bush presidency and subsequent Iraq War, I’ve never received so many questions, nor felt so compelled to attempt to explain what happened.

Hurricane Irma

If you want a quick exercise in realizing what’s important in life, watch as the strongest storm in decades forms and barrels towards to your home as a Category 5 Hurricane. I was lucky enough to get out, lucky enough it moved to the west just a smidgen and my home wasn’t at the epicenter like it once was for so long. But Irma was huge; she spanned the entire width of Florida, and then some. She destroyed homes and lives, and I’m pretty sure I’ve met my hurricane quota for a few years.

Long Distance Marriage

These last six months have easily been the toughest of our long distance marriage. It was a perfect storm of my busy season (Q4), working on a new endeavor of mine, as well as the ER hubster having some back-to-back crap rotations. Tequila Therapy and having a sit down phone discussion about our week, once a week, has helped.

Long Distance Friendships

A couple close friends went MIA, dealing with their own personal issues. Distance can test friendships in itself. Add in feeling lonely without them after they’ve temporarily disappeared and it’s been hard not to take it personally. Goes to show you, you never know what someone else is going through; sometimes even close friends who aren’t ready to deal or aren’t ready to talk about what’s going on.

Mean Girls

Yes, they still exist in my old age and yes, they still behave like gossipy, petulant children. It’s not a pretty look and it’s something I’ve had to cope with this year more times than I care to admit. A positive result of this? I’ve found my own tribe of incredible, supportive and mature women.

The Holidays

First, I had a wonderful time up in Minnesota visiting my dad and step-mom and step-seesters during Christmas-time. As I’ve mentioned before, the hubster and I are usually relegated to being the ones to travel if we don’t want to be alone on the holidays (which, who does?). It gets a bit exhausting and expensive, especially when we have an open invite to Florida, the vacationing mecca of the US. When my husband questioned a relative about it, he was told, “No one will ever be coming to Florida for the holidays. So, drop it.” It was a pretty unkind. But, it’s sort of what we’ve always assumed since, well, no one has come. Still, ouch, right?

To All The Dreamers & Creators When You Desperately Need Motivation

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We’re told so many stupid things in life that are casually wrapped in a one-size-fits-all mentality.

Kids and a mortgage are just part of a happy, fulfilling life. // You’re too old // You’re too young. // The amount of hours you work is a badge of honor. // You need to go back to school for that. // Keep your head down. // You’re running away from your problems. // Buy! Lease! You dummy! // Your worth = Your income // Play it safe. // Your career should be a straight and narrow path and if you work hard enough, you’ll remain at the same company into your pension-filled days.

By the way, what’s a pension? Asking for a friend…

You know who often gets left in the dust with this standard mentality? The dreamers and creators.

They’re out there busting ass before or after their 9-5 job working towards something that is bigger than that damn standard. They’re pushing rocks out of the way on an uncharted path demanding something different. Setting up Etsy shops or blogs or attending conferences or cold calling or vlogging or putting their vulnerability out there by reaching out to family and friends for support with their new endeavors.

You know who often needs more motivation and support than the standard goal-seeks? The dreamers and creators.

Niagara on the Lake Niagara Falls

I have 15+ years of marketing experience and have never before seen such an experience-driven economy. Meaning, we’re just not marketing products anymore, we’re selling the experience that goes along with it. It’s almost as if those silly millennials are onto something when they want more in life than a declarative ‘Live Laugh Love’ wall decoration from Bed Bath and Beyond—they want to experience it too.

So, the jig is up! If you’ve ever wondered, “What if?” If you’ve ever thought an idea was too crazy. If you’re worried about how you’ll make ends meet. If you’re scared to share your new idea or change up your day-to-day because someone may laugh. If you feel less than supported, even by loved-ones who can’t see past the bottom line.

You’re not alone.

There. See?

You’re not alone.

There’s plenty of us lurking around in dark allies or on the dark interwebs. ;) I found fierce, unstoppable women here. I sought out travel-loving kiddos here. I show up to local meetings about causes I care about with people way younger or way older than me. So freakin’ what?

Find your tribe, even if it’s not a friend or any one related to you. You absolutely deserve support as a dreamer, creator or even doing something outside the prescribed definition of normal. You just may not get it. So, find your tribe!

When I’m feeling less than stellar, I turn to some videos and tunes that remind me that it’s the dreamers and creators that make this world go ’round.

Do What You Can’t – Casey Neistat

Rise Up – Andra Day

I’ll forever be a dreamer and creator in some way or fashion. Don’t let turds stand in the way of what you want, however crazy-scary it feels.

Fly that freak flag, baby.

Saying Goodbye To Summertime

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Happy Fall y’all! Real talk: I hate that phrase and I have no idea why.

Last week, we welcomed in the fall season, as we waved goodbye to good ol’ summertime. When I lived in Michigan, this time of year gave me winter anxiety. As much as I loved fall, I knew what was to come next: 8 months of grey, cold, slush, sleet and sometimes pretty snow. Funny enough, I was actually in Michigan last week as a Florida refugee fleeing Hurricane Irma.

Since the last few weeks have been a blur of packing, prepping, evacuating, waiting, packing again, unprepping and unpacking, I barely noticed summer was over. Here are some Highs and Lows of the Summer of 2017.

Highs

Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, Canada

I mean, have I talked about this trip enough here and here? It was easily the highlight of my summer. Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the hubster and I just exploring on our own schedule, in sync, step by step, bike ride upon bike ride, together.

Niagara on the Lake Niagara Parkway Recreational Trail

Marco Island, Florida

We dipped over to the other side of the state early on in the summer to just get away. Our in-laws have a magnificent place on the beach (that thankfully wasn’t damaged in Irma) and they let us crash in every once and a while. It’s a sleepy little island, but we found ourselves busy with things to do. I’ll write about it soon!

#DayofDinners and Women’s March

In June, I participated in #DayofDinners where people from all walks of life and political affiliations sat around a table, had dinner and discussed the state of the world…respectfully. I met some wonderful people who left me feeling better about the world. On top of that, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the activism and work that the Women’s March of Broward County does. It’s an honor to stand by these ladies and yes, gentlemen. I have learned so much in the 8 months since I’ve joined including, and probably most importantly, to listen; to simply listen to someone’s story.

Lows

Hurricane Irma

Suffice to say, Hurricane Irma did a number on my mental health and I was lucky enough to evacuate. Lucky enough that there was minimal damage to our home. Lucky enough to get through the worst part: not knowing. Currently, there are still trees down everywhere (including one that barely missed our windows) and I can’t go to work without seeing at least one stop light not working. It will be months, but we’ll get Florida back to her good ol’ pretty self. I’m a member of RNGR and we volunteered to clear some trees and debris from Hugh Birch State Park this past weekend. I need to remind myself how much I enjoy being outside, physically working, especially to help others.

Saying goodbye to friends and coworkers

Our close friends packed up and headed up north to Jacksonville to begin a new chapter in internal medicine residency. Additionally, a couple of my favorite coworkers resigned and started new, exciting positions. In all those cases, moving on to new things is a good thing for them, but selfishly it’s hard to say goodbye. The older I get, the more I know dynamics change as the tides change, so the goodbyes get tougher.

What’s next on the docket? Oh I’ve got some things up my sleeves that I’m working on. Right now, I’m focusing on keeping my head down, busting ass, taking names and looking at London for my reward this fall.

5 Things You Learn While Evacuating A Hurricane

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1. Adrenaline is no f*cking joke.

In the 3ish hours I had to pack up what I could into 2 pieces of luggage, storm prep my place and decide which things needed saving by throwing them in my insulated bathroom – I made decisions like a champ. There wasn’t any second guessing; there wasn’t time to think really. By the time I got to the airport at 4pm, I realized I hadn’t eaten since 7am. Normally, that would induce pure, unadulterated hangry pangs. With the adrenaline running through my veins, I didn’t even notice. I must say, though, that glass of Sauvignon Blanc in the Delta Sky Lounge was utter bliss.

Live shot of our empty place, I moved furniture away from windows.

 

2. Organization in everyday life is key.

There’s a place for everything in our home. Ask the hubster, if I can’t find something quickly, I get annoyed. In a time of emergency, I knew exactly where to go to grab our important files:

  • Marriage license
  • Passports
  • Birth certificates
  • Property lease

So, make fun of me all you want, non-organized people, but I saved myself some precious time and, more importantly, my sanity when furiously grabbing important docs as I evacuated.

3. Getting out is relief and total sadness.

As those plane wheels kissed the last bit of Fort Lauderdale’s runway, and I looked down below at the serene setting of my coastal community, I felt sick. It’s hard to explain, really. I was finally on my way to safety as a (then) Cat 5 hurricane barreled towards my state. I didn’t know when I’d see my home again, and if I did, what sort of fractured state it would be in once I got back. More importantly, I knew so many people were trying to get out as I sat in my seat to safety in row 16. It’s a gut-wrenching feeling. It’s something I never, ever want to feel again. Guilt and utter sadness, wrapped in a blanket of relief.

4. You inherintely know what’s important in life.

In the fast and furious pace of tossing things into luggage or well-insulated bathrooms, my mind and body inherently knew what needed saving, and what didn’t. Most “things” are people and memories anyway, and those aren’t easily wrapped up safely and put in your bathroom. (Unless that’s your jam, and in that case, please stay far away from me.) If you listen to your intuition, it will gently guide you towards items of sentimental value or those that logistically need safe keeping. And yes, I grabbed my childhood blanket and stuffed animal (affectionately named, Bum) and tossed them into my carry-on. You know, in case my checked luggage got lost.

Judgement-free zone, friends!

5. You know who thinks you’re important in their life.

At one point during evacuating, I actually had to respond to many concerned texts by saying, “Please understand, I’ll text when I can.” Calls, direct messages, texts, emails and even a sweet mention from a friend’s kid concerned that I wouldn’t get out – they all meant the world to me during such chaos and quickly reminded me of who thought about me and who didn’t. Two friends traveling separately in Greece and the Czech Republic reached out asking me what was going on, wasting what I thought, were precious international texting fees. ;)

Some touching moments include: my 3-year-old niece sending me a video asking me if I was at the airport (airport = safety), my mother-in-law taking me for a pedicure when I felt less-than-human the day before Hurricane Irma hit and a long-time friend giving me a stuffed bear when I met her for dinner. Isn’t that how all bear hugs are given?!

Right now, from what we know, some water got into our place, but not much. We have older windows, that rattle anytime the wind picks up, so I’m sure as 100 mph winds blew through, they brought some rain in as well. We didn’t have power for 60+ hours, so all the hurricane goods I bought (that needed someone there to pull out of the fridge and into a cooler if we lost power), are goners. I’m literally on a flight back down to Fort Lauderdale now, with my sleeping ER doc hubster next to me. This guy worked until 7am, and is flying down to help me clean up. All-star.

I still fared so much better than so many other people. The Keys were decimated, and so many Caribbean islands may never, ever be the same again. I liken it to third-world conditions; where the need for food, clean water and vaccinations are high and the supplies are frighteningly low.

Thank you for all the concerned messages, I will be fine. Please keep others who were not so fortunate at the top of your mind if and when you donate to organizations. As a reminder, local organizations are best. They very often provide direct relief.

You can find local organizations to donate to here and here.

Florida Jokes Are Funny. Just Not Right Now.

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When I moved to Florida over 5 years ago, I took my fair share of jabs about the state. Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with moving to Florida, but, crikey, the things you do for the love of your life and his admission into med school. As much as we loved Michigan (where we’re originally from), we both knew we didn’t want to live there forever. But, Florida? I mean, c’mon!

Cut to 5 years later and not only did I wave goodbye to my husband when he finished med school and started his ER residency back in Michigan, but I fell in love with my little southeast corner of the state shaped like unexcited male naughty bits.

For me, South Florida became the epicenter of culture, arts, languages, travel, tourism and a politically vital environment. I’ve met so many wonderfully dynamic people here. Not to mention the year-round sunshine, beaches and palm trees that greet me daily.

Unfortunately, Florida is now the epicenter of Hurricane Irma.

I flew back to Florida from visiting my husband in Michigan for the Labor Day weekend. This was on Tuesday, September 5th. When I got back I ran some hurricane errands, and topped off my tank. By Wednesday, there were hour-long lines in the same station I went to just 12 hours before. Not to mention nearly half of the stations I passed on the way to work were out of gas. My husband texted me to tell me there was cheap flight on JetBlue I could snag, but I didn’t think I’d need to leave. I mean, really? We’ve been through these before.

But something was different with Irma. It’s hard to put your finger on. But even residents who had been through Hurricane Andrew were more worried than usual. It was an eerie feeling.

Quickly flights were beginning to sell out and increase dramatically in price. I called Delta, got an overpriced ticket for that night since the rest were sold out for the rest of the week (at that point).

On Wednesday, September 6, in a matter of 3 hours I needed to pack up what I could into 2 suitcases and prep my condo for a Cat 5 hurricane. I thankfully had a dear friend come over and help me tape windows (an exercise in futility, really), move furniture to the center of my condo, and throw items that I deemed “worth saving” into the bathroom and bathtub. I took pictures, a video and sighed as I locked my door for what may be the very last time.

By the time I got to the airport, I knew I would start questioning everything I did. What I chose to bring, what I chose to leave, what I thought would survive…

It’s a gut-wrenching feeling.

Now I’m watching it all happen from 1400 miles away in Michigan and I can’t even begin to describe the stomach churning helplessness I feel.

Helplessness for friends, loved ones, co-workers, family members and the men and women who have to work through this Cat 5 chaos.

I always tease my co-workers that I much prefer tornadoes I grew up with in Michigan to hurricanes and they think I’m insane. The funny thing is, if you haven’t been through either one, you think the other is worse. I’ve only been through “minor” hurricanes and I can tell you this beast, this bitch, Irma, is something else. She will span the entire state of Florida. It’s unprecedented. 

Save your theories and opinions for another day, while people literally are evacuating or hunkering down for their lives right now. Keep your Florida jokes to yourself for the next 72 hours please. (And for the love of God, ask yourself if Florida is such a silly state, why so many people retire and vacation there? Hmmmm?)

These are my people. This is my state. This will be a life changing event for so many.

If you pray, send good vibes or shake your tail feather – do whatever you need to do right now to keep the people and state of Florida in your heart. I know I will be.

I Won’t Be Silent. How About You?

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Today, I was going to share the details about a wonderful weekend away that the hubster and I took in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario. Seems a bit untimely now considering everything that has happened in Charlottesville, Virginia.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It’s so easy to shove aside the tragedies of the world and go back to your normal, everyday life when they aren’t right at your doorstep. I often find myself asking, is that really what it takes? It personally has to affect you before you say something? (By the way, this goes for me too. I feel a deep sense of accountability for not doing and saying more over the years.) Yet, I still feel enraged at how nonchalant people, friends and family are when national tragedies like this happen.

The water cooler commentary on Monday morning. The “It’s so sad, isn’t it?” line at your kids soccer games. The small talk about the tragedy with the cashier. The thoughts and prayers for the dead.

That’s it.

Carry on as usual.

That sort of complacency is what allows the fear-mongering, hate-filled, nazi, white supremacists to show up, tiki torches in-hand, at a public university in America. In 2017.

I very much remember learning about the Civil Rights Movement in school. Do you? What did you feel? I remember flipping through the pages of my history book seeing protestors and allies and heroes, flanked on either side, or alone in a jail cell, opposing racist rhetoric and knowing they stood on the moral side of history. These activists aren’t viewed in history as radical. They did the right thing. So, what are you so scared of today to simply say something?

Do you fear rocking the boat? Is doing what’s morally right rocking the boat to you? Do you fear that distant racist cousin may disagree with you? Are you okay being associated with that? Do you fear your friends may make fun of you? What sort of friends are those?

Or do you fear the whole conversation may just make you uncomfortable? And who likes feeling uncomfortable…?

What a nice privilege it is to have the ability to avoid feeling uncomfortable and carry on, life as usual. Perhaps I should use a different term, one that may make people less defensive. How very blessed you are. What a blessing it is, indeed.

I’m not sure the family of Heather Heyer, the counter-protester who was run over and killed by a white supremacist, has quite that luxury today.

By saying nothing, you are doing just that. Nothing. Express your outrage. Getting involved, joining a local group is even better, sure. But for compassion’s sake, for the difference between right or wrong, choose to say something. Beyond just how sad it is. Call these white supremacists and nazis what they are – evil.

Don’t know what to say? Share this blog post. Don’t know how to get involved? Use that Google box.

For a country that knows how to find a Halloween costume for their cat (guilty), we sure act all bewildered when wondering what we can do next in the face of racist acts. Look up local social justice groups, local racial justice groups, local ACLU chapters…do I need to go on? You’re equipped to do it. So, do it.

Say something. Identify yourself as someone who whole-heartedly does not agree with what is taking place. This is not about party lines. This is about your moral obligation as a human who shares the same space on this great earth with other humans, to stand up when some of them are being wronged…or killed.

People know where I stand.

On my way to the Women’s March in D.C.

 

I’m sure some even have unfollowed or unfriended me—good. That bullshit isn’t welcome in my life. I’m sure a lot of us have witnessed and heard those funny-haha political remarks, the “Oh, I’m just saying it to get under your skin,” jokes. What do you do? I know I could do more and say more, even with people knowing where I stand.

So, why don’t people know where you stand? If you think they do, then why are they comfortable making racist remarks in front of you? Say something.

Say that racist, bigoted, neo-Nazi, white supremacists (and their jokes) are not welcome here, and tell your children the same so they know which side you stand on. If you can’t say it, or tell others that you feel that way, dig deep and ask yourself why you’re okay with it then, because that’s exactly what you’re saying, when you say nothing.

Complacency is easy. It’s also a blessing privilege. Which side do you want to be on when they’re writing this chapter in the history books that your children and grand-children will read?