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Not Your Average Gal

Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Soapbox

One Month: No TV

March 1, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

In January, I listed some of my goals for 2015. Since I’m a glutton for punishment, one of those goals included giving up TV for a month. I know what you’re thinking.

You’re totally going to miss the 3rd season of House of Cards.

I know, I know.

I’m currently trying to remedy that situation by binge watching as many episodes as I can.

I also didn’t choose a great month because of NCAA March Madness and considering I’m an alumni of Michigan State University, this could be especially tough. That said, the Final Four and Championship are in April, so if my Spartans perform as expected, I may not miss them play.

So why am I giving up TV for one month?

In short, to bring more focus. You have to keep in mind, I spend a majority of my day writing, wracking my brain to come up with some creative copy, editing countless projects and proofing things on the fly before they go live. Sometimes the only thing my brain can handle when I get home…is mindless TV.

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Unfortunately, that mindless TV can turn into a distraction when I’m trying to be productive. The hubster jokes that I’m unable to watch a movie without doing something else. He’s totally right. I’m usually reading an article, writing on the blog or researching something on the internet.

But think of how much more productive I could be without trying to multitask while paying attention to the TV and complete whatever I’m working on. Plus, I may actually finish reading a non-travel related book this year!

So, that’s why.

I realize that some of you may be thinking that giving up TV may seem like such a first world problem. Guess what? It is. I’m totally aware of that and I’m hoping that giving up TV adds a bit more to my life than the Real Housewives does.

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Just for clarity sake, I sometimes joke that I wasn’t raised by wolves, I was raised by TV. It has very much been my refuge when things are tough or I want to escape. Sure that’s embarrassing to admit, but the reality is I’m sure some of you can identify with that.

Hey, intravenous drugs could have been my refuge. So, winning?

A few conditions:

This month is more about not actively watching TV.

  • We have a social life (shocking, I know). If we’re at a restaurant or bar, I won’t be asking them to turn off the TV.
  • The hubster likes to fall asleep to the mind numbingly awesome show, Forensic Files. If it’s on when I go to bed, I won’t be asking him to turn it off. I’ll read or set the sleep timer.
  • If I don’t finish watching House of Cards, I may have to complete it since it’s my duty as an American. Plus, Netflix isn’t TV, right?
  • If a national or international disaster occurs, I will turn on the news.
  • Funny YouTube videos don’t count. Especially squirrel videos.

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Wish me luck. Say a prayer. Send Starbucks.

Would you ever give up TV? How long do you think you could do it?

 

Filed Under: Confessions, Health, Mental Health

Accept the Compliment, Caroline.

February 27, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

“I like your nail polish.”

“Oh, thanks. I really need to redo them though.”

“Why? Why do you need to redo them?”

“Well. See here? They’re chipped a bit.”

“Oh.”

In realizing that I was pointing out basic, lame flaws to an almost 5-year-old, I gave myself a reality check.

“But it is a pretty fun pink color, right?”

“Yeah, I like it!”

Whew. Think I backpedaled out of that one.

Why is it even when thanking someone for a compliment, I still inherently think of the flaws and then basically let the person giving the compliment know they aren’t totally correct? This time I said it to an almost 5-year-old!

Our friends were in town with their two littles enjoying all the gloriousness of Fort Lauderdale, so I was excited to see them and the kiddos at the pool one day.  I will never forget as that nearly 5-year-old kiddo waved at us while telling her new friend she made at the pool that her friends Caroline and Tom were here.

That innocent, toothy grin, just waving at us.

She didn’t care my nails were chipped. She didn’t notice they looked like Britney Spears from 2007. She just liked my nails and she told me as much.

And all I needed to do was say, “Thank you.”

Thank you.

That’s it.

Promise me you’ll just say thank you from now on. Accept the compliment. They’re most likely correct and you’re most likely being silly.

Thank you.

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Thanks for the reminder, little buddy.

 

Filed Under: Girl Code, Soapbox

This Girl Can

February 1, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

I meant to post this a couple weeks ago, but I saw a shiny object and forgot.

Ever feel self-conscious while working out? Feel like you’re still too big to enter the gym with all those annoyingly fit people? Are you like me and pull and tug at your shirt to make sure no one sees you jiggle while you run?

Watch #ThisGirlCan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7lt0CYwHg

Who can do it?

This girl can!

I want to run around singing “I’m Every Woman” now, don’t you?!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Filed Under: Body Love, Girl Code, Health

You seem so happy.

January 21, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

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Recently, I’ve had close friends, friends I haven’t spoken with in years, former colleagues and even acquaintances tell me that I just “seem so happy.” I’m not kidding when I say I’ve gotten emails, text messages and Facebook messages about this little blog letting me know how great it is (thank you!) and how happy I seem.

It got me thinking.

What about my life has changed that has made me so happy? Was it anything in particular? What could I narrow it down to? I was surprised at how easily I summed it up. That tends to happen when you’re the introspective-type. It truly came down to 2 things.

  1. Pushing past my comfort zone.

  2. Backing away from negative people in my life.

(Did you think I’d say having the man of my dreams by my side? While he contributes to my happiness, if you’re looking for a dude to find your happiness, you’ll always be searching for it.)

I digress. Those 2 items seem so easy, right? The reality is it’s been a culmination of years of being aware of this and consciously working towards it. It’s the product of a perfect storm of sorts in my life from years ago. I wasn’t always happy. I even look back on some of the things I said in my cloud of negativity and cringe. My spirit was broken. I was truly and utterly lost. I wrote about it here.

 

Pushing past my comfort zone

In July of 2012, we moved to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Read: The hubster started medical school and dragged me kicking and screaming. I was miserable our first few months here. I felt like I’d never adjust, I couldn’t ever fit in, I’d never stop sweating in the humidity and that I’d forever be the nice, midwestern gal begging for good customer service that is lacking in South Florida. I missed my friends and thought they had forgotten about me. I missed the comfort of being home.

The truth was Ft. Lauderdale was my new home and I needed to get used to the new comfortable. My new comfort zone.

pushing through your comfort zone

2.5 years later and I can’t imagine leaving this place.

Sure, the drivers here still scare me. Sure, I have to move mountains to get some projects done that depend on a customer service response.

But, I now love it here. It has forever changed me, in such a good way.

For someone that lived abroad alone, I sure carried around my security blanket of my own little apartment and circle of friends nearby. So moving 1,500 miles pushed me out of my comfort zone.

pushing past your comfort zone

I’m so incredibly thankful it woke me up, showed me that I needed to change.

You see, living in Michigan became incredibly predictable. I never had aspirations to move back to the city I grew up in and start a family and, for lack of a better phrase, “settle down,” like some of my friends did. These are very happy people too! It happened slowly over time, but in what felt like a blink of an eye, I was on the outside; not having babies, not being married, not looking for a mortgage.

It didn’t interest me.

I felt slowly nudged out because I couldn’t offer much in what the conversation had changed to. I realize now that friends can maintain friendships while being married and having babies. But for the ones who couldn’t—I took it personally. I wasn’t invited to playdates (where most of my girlfriends socialized) because, well, hey, I lacked a kid. I wasn’t invited to weekends away because my then boyfriend, now husband, and I didn’t have kids. And yes, I was told as much. Perhaps we’d be the odd couple out? I’m not sure. Either way, it hurt. But these were my friends, my comfort zone.

In the 6 months before we moved, I realized the writing was on the wall with some of my friendships. Of course dynamics change with marriages and babies, but I was at the point of wondering if some people would even say goodbye to us when we moved.

I needed a change and, man, moving sure puts friendships in perspective.

It was a harsh reality, especially the longer I was away and with the huge milestones I had like: landing a job I love, getting married and traveling more.

The universe pushed me out of my comfort zone to the beaches of Ft. Lauderdale and showed me just what could happen.

Authentic friendships survived. New friendships blossomed. I traveled more, even alone in Portugal. Blogging once again took a front seat in my life.

Once that ball started rolling, it hasn’t stopped. Making one change set everything in motion.

I promise if you focus on pushing through your comfort zone (even kicking and screaming) beautiful things will happen.

pushing past your comfort zone

 

Backing away from negative people in my life.

As my tune changed with pushing through my comfort zone, I became more confident. Especially in my ability to know who was a good, supportive nugget in my life…and who wasn’t. In reality, I probably thought more of some relationships than the other person did. Hey, it happens.

It was all excuses for some, one after the other as to why support wasn’t given, why it was so tough to coordinate beforehand, why a call or text wasn’t made…why they didn’t show up. The silence often spoke louder.

It was then I realized it was all negative noise.

deposits

I had to back away from these relationships. Know and love how they once were, forgive (or try to) feeling taken advantage of and move on. This is something I still struggle with. People who constantly take advantage, whether they realize it or not, can suck the soul out of a relationship.

It was time to let go. Not in callous way, just appreciating the lessons learned; waving goodbye while smiling at the good times that were had.

I had to learn, the hard way, as anyone who is a glutton for hoping things change or the other person will finally understand, that some people are just plain toxic. Even family.

You know those people who no matter how much advice you offer, how often you try to make them feel special, how many times you go out of your way to help, they will always and forever be their own worst enemy? They aren’t worth your frustration.

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I worried so much about burning bridges that I kept a toxic person in my life at the simple cost of my confidence and often, my health. I’m here to tell you it isn’t worth it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’re cutting him or her out if all they bring into your life is strife and a constant character assessment that leaves you wondering if you’re a good person.

You are. I promise.

You are allowed to walk away.

You are. I promise.

toxic people

You know those relationships you have in your life that pop into your head when something goes wrong? “Oh, great. I can just see so-and-so laughing at me and my misfortune right now.”

Cut the negativity out. Why surround yourself with such judgmental asshats?

I have personally experienced what it feels like to work hard for great goals, only to be reminded on a consistent basis that someone “wishes things like that happened” to them or even things I’ve accomplished being met with some snarky, cynical, gloomy reactions.

Back away. Back slowly away.

People go through bad phases, sure. Just keep in mind if your happy life is being belittled by someone, it speaks more about them than you.

In the couple years that I’ve made the conscious decision to leave the negative noise, I cannot tell you how positive the change has been. It’s honestly hard to put into words. Pushing it out opens up so much more room for productive, positive feelings. I’m genuinely happy when I see or hear good things happening to my friends.

When my husband started dating me, he fell in love with a confident, well-spoken, outgoing woman and sadly years ago he also witnessed as I withered away into negativity, surrounding myself with unreliable relationships. He is the first to point out the change or, perhaps to put it better, the leveling of the playing field with my choices.

I am so much happier because I know I am enough. Me. Caroline. As I am.

You are too. I promise.

enough

I try not to reflect on my travels outside of travel-specific posts, but the most important thing traveling has taught me is how little you need to be happy. If you spend any more than one mili-second dwelling in your comfort zone or negativity, it’s one mili-second too long.

(Sure, I need to take my own advice on that sometimes too. I’m not perfect.)

Just know that all it takes is one step towards pushing your limits; making one change can set everything in motion towards a world full of happiness that you without a doubt, wholeheartedly,  deserve.

You do. I promise.

Filed Under: Confessions, Mental Health, Musings, Soapbox

Lean, Mean 2015

January 4, 2015 By Caroline Peterson

They say if you don’t write down your goals, they are merely just dreams that will never be achieved. Or something hokey and bullshitty like that.

I’m not a big New Years Resolution gal. Probably because by day 3 I’ve already broken one of them and by day 30 I’m right back in the comfort zone I was in the previous year. So I don’t like saying, “This is it. This is the year. This is the new me!”

newyear

I sort of like me and stuff anyway.

That said, there are things I’d like to achieve in 2015 beyond the typical “lose weight” goals.

2015 Goals

Blog

  • Join a blog network and start expanding readers. I wanted to wait 6 months after re-vamping my blog to do this, in order to have readers and an accumulation of posts. Now is the time.
  • Gain more followers on Twitter and Facebook. While I’ve mainly focused on Facebook, I want to include Twitter more. #hashtagsareyourfriend
  • Choose one medium for all my social networks, that can push blog posts to all of them. Any suggestions, friends?
  • Include more videos. You all can’t WAIT to see my pretty face. I’m looking for a good WordPress widget for videos. Any suggestions, friends?
  • Write more about “travel hacking.” Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? It is.
  • Gain more freelance writing work. I make a living as a copywriter and want to put those skills to more use with freelance writing gigs beyond my blog.
  • Feature sponsored posts, guest writers and perhaps open up advertisements. I go back and forth with advertising on my blog, but it’s something to at least explore. I don’t want to take away from the authenticity of this site. It has to be a good fit.

Life

  • Travel somewhere new in July. The hubster has the month of July off. I gave him a deadline of mid-January to choose where we should go and I’ll plan it all. I’M SO EXCITED!
  • Read a damn book. I write for a living, so obviously, reading is a huge part of that. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is read a book when I get home after I’ve proofed presentation after presentation for Art Directors. Last year, I only read travel books.  Lame-o.
  • Give up TV for one month. AHH! Even writing that makes me sad. I want to test it out and see how much or little it affects my life. I’m a huge boob tube fan. This is going to suck.
  • Learn more Spanish. I live in South Florida. I work with some amazing Latinos who are always testing my Spanish. I bought Rosetta Stone and will pick it back up in no time. Wish me buena suerte!

Health

  • Lose 15 pounds. It’s doable for me. Baby steps. I don’t want to put out a high number into the universe and then beat myself up when I don’t achieve it. When I hit 15 and want to lose more, I’ll decide that number then.
  • Incorporate more lifting in my workouts. Right now it’s all running while training for the half-marathon. I need to strength train more, I feel so much better and my clothes fit so much better when I lift.
  • Allow myself to buy pre-packaged meals. I’m a stickler for making things from scratch, but if I need to throw in a bag of pre-packaged brown rice into the microwave in order to save time and not just “give in” and order out, I’ll allow it. Same with pre-cut veggies. Notice pre-packaged doesn’t necessarily mean pumped with preservatives and awful for you. Guys, I don’t allow microwave popcorn in our household (because it’s AWFUL for you) so this is a big step. Balance, my friends. Balance.
  • Run 2 half-marathons. Yup. I’m putting it out in the universe. TWO. Last year after I completed my goal of running my first half marathon, I just stopped running long distances for months. Not good. I’m finding another one after my half in February.
  • Get up each morning at 6am. That used to be my norm. But lately it’s definitely taken a back seat to staying up late and “sleeping in” until 7:30. I want to start my day off right. Chill, eat breakfast, workout, read emails, update blogs, etc. etc.
  • Eat less meat. I used to be vegan, believe it or not. Sadly, I found it nearly impossible to maintain when we moved to Florida. I loved how I felt and want to capture that again by aiming to eat less animals.
  • Letting go of guilt. This may be a post for another time, but I’m a glutton for making myself feel awful about making a decision I know is in my or my family’s best interest but may hurt/offend/upset others. I have to move past it better.

That should do it. Not too shabby.

What do you think—any words of advice? What are some of your goals for 2015?

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

2014 Year in Review

December 30, 2014 By Caroline Peterson

2014 was the year I decided to take the reigns and revamp this here blog. In July, I hit “Publish” and I’m so glad I did. I want to take a brief moment and thank you for your readership and encouragement. Redesigning the blog wasn’t an easy task, but writing, well, writing is something I love and having you as an audience made the redesign that much easier.

So, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Let’s review what you guys read, what you guys liked, what you guys said and also some of my favorite things from this year. Sorry, it’s not like Oprah. I’m not giving you thousands of dollars worth of my favorite things. Just some kick ass writing!

2014 Year in Review

Top Posts

  1. Sport Bra Review for Big Boobs
  2. When Weight Holds You Back
  3. La Gordita
  4. You Will Always be too Much of Something for Someone
  5. Lay off me I’m Starving

It looks like you find something relatable about body image or weight struggles. Oh and boobs. You guys like boobs. It also didn’t hurt that Enell posted my blog on their Facebook page!

Funny enough, I get asked IRL (In Real Life, for all you non-geeks) about traveling much more than anything else. That doesn’t show up in the top 5, but still ranks in posts. If you want me to write more about travel, pipe up or comment and as always, share this blog with any friends.

Most Searched Terms

  1. Slutty Costumes
  2. Be soft do not let the world make you hard
  3. Costume castle eskimo costume
  4. Bear with me
  5. Caroline Made This

I know. I know what you’re thinking. What in the…? You see, there was a funny post I wrote in 2012 around Halloween about the most ridiculously slutty Halloween costumes and how absurd I found them. People still search for that shit. And people somehow still land here. Hi pervs!

Top Social Network Referrals

  1. Facebook
  2. Pinterest
  3. Twitter
  4. LinkedIn

Pinterest was a surprise. I definitely should be adding more of my “How To” tutorials that I used to post here.

Top Countries Trying to Hack My Site

  1. China
  2. Ukraine
  3. Brazil

Yes, nerd-jerks try to hack my site and put lines of code for malware. It’s not uncommon for anyone who has a site. I work hard to protect this here blog.

Favorite Comments

Great video from the TSA! I hope we don't have to start taking our ice skates off at security now though… That would really slow me down. – Kendra on Off to the Frozen, Cold Tundra

people seem to be on their worst behavior when they are in airports or airplanes…very selfish and irrational! everyone besides me of course. :) – kristin on How to Survive Holiday Travel

Love that you are just so real. I'm patiently waiting for a publisher or screenwriter to snatch you up. xoxo – Judi on You Will Always be Too Much of Something for Someone

You clearly cared enough to comment. Feel free to take your rude comments elsewhere. — care's actual friends who don't need to hide behind fake names – Jennie on Lay Off Me I'm Starving

Bitch is the new black, baby! Don't ever change. :) – Emily on The Bitch List

…I'm glad you read it and connected with me. I followed your link, found your blog and I couldn't stop reading. You are hilarious! Your hubby is one lucky man. I'll be following your adventures on Twitter and Instagram. – James on Travel Woes: Delayed Baggage & Stolen Goods

The only real danger in wearing the dress is that you might start a fire. SMOKIN' HOT, GUUURL. – Rheyn on When Weight Holds You Back

Obviously, flattery will get you everywhere with me. Thanks for all the comments this year, even those that didn’t “make the cut.”

Biggest Achievements

Running my first half-marathon

Traveling solo in Portugal for a couple days

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Adjusting to the hubster’s 3rd year of med school clinical rotations

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Writing this here blog

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Advancing in my job as a copywriter

(No pics to protect the innocent.)

Favorite Moments

Shenanigans at Disney with these weirdos

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Meeting this nugget

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4th of July festivities

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Meeting up with these gals in Spain

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When the hubster surprised me on Thanksgiving

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 1.07.38 PM

8.5 miles with my favorite

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Healthy Habits to Continue

Pushing the negative away

meryl2

Getting out of my comfort zone

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Being happy with me

moon

Letting go of unreliable friendships

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Moving towards minimalist

less

Taking a different path

path

2014 was a pretty killer year, wouldn’t you say? During all of it (from July to December), I was happy to share my good times and (some) bad with you here.

Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing in my love of writing. Truly, thank you.

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Here’s to another great year and more adventures in 2015!

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Filed Under: Confessions, Funny, Musings, Soapbox

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