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Not Your Average Gal

Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Soapbox

Surviving The Holidays Alone

December 27, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

The holidays are bittersweet for me. I try desperately to enjoy them and sometimes I’m successful. But, more often than not, they tend to be an annoying pebble in my shoe, reminding me with each step of where I seemingly fall on the totem pole.

I can’t remember the last time I spent Christmas or Thanksgiving with family in my own place — it must have been before college. Each holiday brings about another round of travel; if I’m not traveling to see family at their homes, I’m alone. The choice seems to be that “simple.” And, keeping it real, it sucks.

I know I’m not alone in feeling like that, I’ve talked to friends who seem to always have to be the “flexible ones” and leave their homes to visit others.

This year, since the hubster was working every night over Christmas, there wasn’t much of a point in me flying up to see him. With us traveling more to see each other, the logistics of another quick-turnaround-and-head-back trip to travel and see my family wasn’t in the cards. I’ve invited everyone down to Florida, the US mecca of warm vacations, but for some reason or another it never seems to work out. I try not to take it personally because sometimes it’s purely situational. But sometimes I’m left wondering how many times you invite people before you stop because it must be you because you smell or something?

*sniffs armpits*

The holidays have a way of doing that, you know? Problems are a bit magnified. Being alone or left out, you begin to question your own place in your family, your job, your life goals, your burrito from last night, your current choice in fuzzy socks; it can certainly suck you into the vortex of self-pity and doubt. It could have been you with your family, but it’s not, so you better suck it up and deal, chickadee.

So, for anyone else that finds themselves alone on the holidays, this is how I dealt with it.

Plan it all out. What you’re doing each day or what you’d like to accomplish, even if that is going to pick up a cornish hen, since that’s the only bird that’s just the right amount for a dinner for one. This was my day-by-day.

Christmas Eve Eve

Start the time off right — with a good, long walk.

I honestly don’t remember the last time I got home from work before 7 or 7:30. It must be months. So when the boss let us leave early today for the holiday, I ran a bunch of errands, came home, looked around…and said, “Now what?” What a reality check! I’ve had something to do each hour of my day for so long I honestly didn’t know what to do with my hands. #rickybobbyquoteftw So I went on a walk taking a path I haven’t taken since my injury in AUGUST. Relaxation, I’m coming for you this weekend! 🙌🏻

A photo posted by Caroline, Not Your Average Gal (@notaveragegal) on Dec 23, 2016 at 3:01pm PST

Join the masses at the grocery store to buy your meal-for-one. Laugh with another lady who is deeply annoyed she’s cooking for 11 and show empathy by waving your cornish hen leg at her as you part ways.

Christmas Eve

Go to your friends’ house while they are away visiting family to take care of their kitties and then freak out because you can’t find the one cat that needs to get a pill. Then find her and laugh with her then realize you’re laughing with a cat and cry a little inside.

Go on a virtual date with the hubster and see the movie Passengers.

Spend Christmas Eve with your friend’s family. If you’re lucky, they’ll be Colombian and show you new (awesome) traditions.

Christmas Day

Head to kitty place again and decide that pussy can’t hide from you – success!

Workout on your new exercise bike and do crunches to prepare for the imminent dinner course.

Talk to your dad and step mom while they’re currently trying to get up an icy hill in Minnesota.

Open up the 2 gifts under your tree, one from your dad and one from your sister. Laugh at your husband who accidentally sent your gift to his current address, so you open up your (upcoming) birthday gift that he already sent instead.

New Tieks!!

 

Go to the pool in a Santa hat drinking a Bloody Mary.

When you’re alone on Christmas, you go to the pool in a Santa hat and drink a Bloody Mary…so you can be the crazy lady at the pool drinking a Bloody Mary in a Santa hat. 🎅🏼

A photo posted by Caroline, Not Your Average Gal (@notaveragegal) on Dec 25, 2016 at 12:51pm PST

FaceTime with your hubster and then the BFFs.

Then FaceTime your brother, sister-in-law and adorable niece who needed to show you all her (naked) Barbies. They were taking a bath, duh.

Call your sister who is also on her way to work in the ICU. (I can’t get away from you healthcare people!)

Make Buffalo Chicken Tater Tots, watch Bridget Jones’ Baby and hit the hay — Christmas is just another day.

Tots and prosecco.

 

Christmas Day (observed)

If you’re lucky, you get one more day off alone.

You crushed half those tots the night before, so hop on the bike again and do some more crunches.

The pool and Bloody Mary are calling your name again, this time lacking a typical Floridian afternoon downpour. Score!

Have kitty parents come over to pick up their house keys and spend some time laughing about how ridiculous med school and doctors are over a bottle o’ wine.

Clean.

Cornish Hen time! Whip up some mashed potatoes and broccoli too for good measure.

Print more shit out for your Cuban adventure and hit the hay — Christmas Day (observed) is just another day.

 


 

Basically, keep busy. I tried to just take care of myself and not let my mind wander. I’ll admit – there were some tears. It would have been great to have been around family, but I got through it and think I tried to make the best of it.

I also know the nay-sayers will wag their judging and unsupportive fingers saying things like, “This is what you signed up for being a doctor’s spouse.” or “I’d love to have a few days off on my own! Sheesh!” Thanks for your unhelpful input, I’ll be sure to write it down and burn it later.

And if that’s not inspiring, perhaps some kind words from JK Rowling will be. She shares many of the same sentiments about the holidays, but expresses it more eloquently than I can:

JK Rowling Christmas Message

Have you spent a holiday totally alone?

Filed Under: Confessions, Musings, Soapbox

A Wedding & A Reminder

December 15, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

I’m on my way home to Fort Lauderdale, sitting in the Sky Club on a layover in Atlanta. Heart happy. Belly sore from laughter. Tired as a shit, but full of appreciation.

My lounge game is strong lately. #skyclub

A photo posted by Caroline, Not Your Average Gal (@notaveragegal) on Dec 11, 2016 at 2:53pm PST

My dear friend, whom I’ve known since middle school days, got married this weekend in Houston. We affectionally call him “Texas” because on his first day in middle school, he wore a cowboy hat. May I remind you I went to school in Michigan. Ah, that (now married to a gorgeous lady) guy.

It was a reunion of sorts with people flying in from all over.

I’ve known some of these guys since elementary school.

Went to high school and college with a bunch of these gals.

We danced to pop songs from the early 2000’s and sang I Want You Back by *NSync at the tops of our lungs. We talked about the funny things their children are saying and doing now. We shared heartache over aging parents and family health problems. We talked about how we’re going to head back to England for my 10-year wedding anniversary and effectively set the 7-year countdown. We talked about how difficult and lonely being a doctor’s wife can be. I really missed the hubster, who was stuck in the ICU working, this weekend.

We relived a bit of our once-carefree life, even if only for an evening. It was epically wonderful. I would never want to go back to those awkward middle school years, even college days, if I were being honest. But, man, being with people who know you, truly know you (and still keep you around) filled my heart with contentment.

I’m not sure I realized quite how much I needed that reminder. The reminder that I have good friends. That I am a good friend. That we have shared wonderful (and sometimes shitty) moments together. That no matter the time or distance, some things will never change and in my ever-changing world…it’s exactly what I needed.

There is a line in a graduation speech Baz Lurman gave  (Yes, the one that was made into a tacky 90’s-pop song) that still sticks with me to this day:

“Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get, the more you need the people
You knew when you were young.”

I’m so grateful to have that.

 

 

Pardon the lack of usually spectacular images; I wanted to spend my time making memories instead of lugging my digital camera around capturing them. I know you understand. :)

Filed Under: Confessions, Mental Health, Soapbox

Currently Caroline, September 2016

September 29, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

Currently I’m:

currentlycarolineseptember-1-2

Located: On my couch, with my cast and toes above my nose.

Listening to: Million Dollar Listing New York: Ryan’s Wedding

Thinking about: What it will feel like to walk again. *sigh* And drive again. And pee at 3am without getting on my scooter to head to the bathroom.

So remember that MRI I had last month? 2 completely torn ligaments. 1 partially torn ligament. 1 fracture. And I was walking around on it for a month…whoops. Doc threw me in a cast for 6-8 weeks. Then a walking boot for 2 weeks after that. Then physical therapy after that. Oh yeah, and I’m non-weight bearing. Meaning, I can’t even walk in this cast.

I had to cancel two trips because I’m not allowed to fly — blood clots. Oh and my Thanksgiving holiday may be in jeopardy too if I don’t heal well because my family doesn’t live within a 1,000 mile radius and I always have to fly to see them. Plus, did I mention this is my right foot, so I’m not allowed to drive. Not only can I not really push on the pedal, it’s also illegal allegedly. (I asked.)

currentlycarolineseptember-1 currentlycarolineseptember-3

Looking forward to: A weekend to relax and reflect. I really can’t do much else. #castlife

Drinking: La Croix water. Duh. (I have problems.)

Thankful for: Fucking awesome, helpful coworkers who are kind enough to drive me to and from work. I don’t know what I’d do without them. Well I do, I’d Uber, but that shit adds up. Plus, a dear friend of mine from elementary school (!) set up a Meal Train for me and friends came out of the woodwork to donate and make sure I was able to have stuff delivered to my house. I was so touched.

The hubster also flew home last weekend to tend to my immobile ass and it was really nice having him by my side. I got to sit on the wall of Fort Lauderdale Beach and just relax. It’s one of my favorite spots in the world.

currentlycarolineseptember-1-3

Worried about: If this is the last cast I’ll have. Yes, I’ve had two so far in this immobilization process. She wants me in a cast for 2 weeks at a time, come back to be examined and then re-casted (is that a verb?) again. This last time I asked if it would be the last cast and she said to not get my hopes up, but to bring my walking boot for my next appointment in 2 weeks.

SO SEND POSITIVE WALKING VIBES MY WAY, PEOPLE.

Laughing about: The bell one of my coworkers got for my scooter. I’d say it’s pretty spot on for me, eh? Plus, my brother and sister-in-law got me some sweet flowers and streamers to attach to my scoots.

currentlycarolineseptember-4

Mad about: Being lied to. Never feels good. Feels worse that the person who is lying 1) thinks it’s okay and 2) doesn’t think you know. Rise above it, Caroline. Riiiiiise above it. (Yes, this is the same thing as last month. Apparently, I’m like flypaper for liars.)

Curious about: This next month. Not only is it our busy season at work, one of our writers has resigned and well, it will hopefully be a smooth transition while we hire another one. Additionally, you know, I’m quite immobile, so everything takes me twice as long to do, including making lunch or dinner. And peeing. God peeing is the worst, hopping up and down on my good leg to pull my pants down. So mix in busy season, an added workload, stress and being limited to one leg…let’s just say I’m curious how it will end up.

I’m meditating in the mornings.

Also, drinking tequila at night.

 

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

How That Long Distance Marriage Thing Is Going

September 11, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

The reactions to us announcing we’d be living apart while the hubster starts his ER Residency were somewhat varied. Some people were supportive and great. And some people left me thinking, “You know, people can be real aholes sometimes.”

Just about 3 months ago, the hubster left South Florida for the frozen tundra of Southeast Michigan. I won’t get into the details of that day. It was a blurry mess of ice cream, tears and lots of reality trash TV to keep my mind off of having just waved goodbye to my husband.

I’m asked about it a lot, so here we go.

How are we doing with living apart?

We’ve seen each other about once every 3 weeks. I’m flying there or he’s flying here. Flights haven’t been too obnoxiously priced just yet and we all know the thrill I get just flying for funzies, so I’m totally okay with it. Right now, though, we don’t have any flights planned until the beginning of November. <deep breath>

13724026_10108582790231394_4971629504401112157_o

I had to learn how to depend on myself from a very young age. The transition back to living alone wasn’t as frightening as everyone was trying to convince me it would be. I know I have a unique history, but being on my own wasn’t the scary part. Choking on a piece of steak and not having anyone to do the Heimlich on me, now THAT scares me more.

Med school prepared us well. I truly believe people either didn’t believe me when I said you have to be okay being alone when you have a med student spouse OR they truly don’t understand the grueling hours involved in becoming a doctor. Very often he’d be 10 feet away in his office, but utterly unavailable to have a normal conversation. Sort of like what we’re doing now.

14233162_10108808751488224_5589315240148243024_n

With his current schedule, I’d barely be seeing him. He was working night shifts there for awhile and we’d really have to figure out our phone calls. It basically was me talking to him for 15 minutes while I was leaving work and he was heading into work. If we lived with each other – I wouldn’t have seen him anyway.

Planning ahead prevents misunderstandings. We learned we needed to layout when we’d have our Facetime calls or phone calls ahead of time. This helps because his schedule can change week to week and I’m also type-A and want to scream when the phone rings just as I’ve sat down for the first time all day. (I swear I’m lovable.)

Creativity is key. We went to the movies together this weekend. 1,300 miles apart. We saw Sully. HIGHLY recommend it. You’ll be fist pumping, “America, F*ck yeah.” as you’re leaving.

We’ve had our moments. This past week, after especially unnecessarily mean things happened at work, not being able to exercise due to my ankle, a lack of response from someone I reached out to which has me feeling like crap, and quite frankly, coming home unable to just hug my husband, I had a meltdown. Full on, ugly-cry meltdown. The hubster listened and encouraged me. (And I was somewhat thankful he wasn’t witnessing it.) I’ve noticed when I’m feeling down, it stings more when he’s not here.

We’ve said we’ll do a check-in with each other every 6 months to see how it’s going and reassess anything if necessary. So far, so good.

I mean, you guys, I put something in the fridge and it’s in the same damn place when I go back! HELL YEAH!

Filed Under: Confessions, Soapbox

Currently Caroline, August 2016

August 31, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

Currently I’m:

CurrentlyCarolineAugust-4

Located: In my bedroom packing for another trip (shocking!). I’m heading to Detroit this week to see the hubster over Labor Day weekend.

Listening to: The NYC Real Housewives Reunion.

Thinking about: Different ways to say the same thing for one of our major clients because that’s what one thinks about while packing. Ugh. #copywriterproblems

Looking forward to: Hugging the hubster. Eating dinner at a table with the hubster. Laughing in person with the hubster. Watching TV and zoning out with the hubster. Going grocery shopping with the hubster. Petting the hubster. Too much?

Drinking: La Croix water. Duh.

Thankful for: Supportive, honest family members who always make me giggle when shit hits the fan.

Worried about: The results from my MRI on my ankle and foot. Doc wasn’t too encouraging, “Really, really interested to see what’s going on.” I am too. She was cool though. MRI is scheduled for this weekend. Who knew they had hours on Sundays? GLORIOUS.

Plus, because my health insurance is through the ER doc hubster, if I get my MRI in Michigan through their hospital network, it’s only a $300 deductible. If I do it in-network, but in Florida, it’s a $3000 deductible. Basically, if I need anything major done, it’s cheaper for me to fly to Michigan. Oh health insurance, you fickle beast.

CurrentlyCarolineAugust

Laughing about: How excited I am for a Delta Biscotti cookie. Yeah buddy!

CurrentlyCarolineAugust-2

Mad about: Being lied to. Never feels good. Feels worse that the person who is lying 1) thinks it’s okay and 2) doesn’t think you know. Rise above it, Caroline. Riiiiiise above it.

Curious about: How long this hair dye will last. Oh yeah, I colored my hair pink! It’s something I’ve always been intrigued by and I finally did it. I love it!

CurrentlyCarolineAugust-3

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

Currently Caroline, July 2016

July 30, 2016 By Caroline Peterson

Currently I’m:

NYAG-10

Located: In Florida at freakin’ home. That’s a first for one of these! 

Listening to: Game of Thrones. I am finally joining the masses and started watching. I’m at the beginning of Season 3. THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS.

Thinking about: Setting up a doable blog schedule. Do any other bloggers struggle with this? Any suggestions would be great. I realize my life over the last 2 months has been more than crazy, but I do need to be better about this.

Looking forward to: My sassy and smart girlfriends coming in this week! They’re the same numbnuts (term of endearment) I travel with across the world every so often. We may be discussing our next trip, too. Woot! Depending on prices, we’ll see if I can join. May need to tap out of traveling internationally for the rest of the year since the hubster and I are spending money flying back and forth to see each other. The things I do for that man!

NYAG-11

Drinking: Water. La Croix. DUH.

Thankful for: A beautiful walk this morning on Fort Lauderdale beach. Even after 4 years, I still can’t believe the sunrises here.

NYAG-9

Worried about: The disgusting, often racist and sexist rhetoric Trump bumbles out of his out-of-touch mouth and knowing that people actually agree with it?!

Laughing about: My love for organizing. Last year, I read “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” and it was really life-changing. That sounded dramatic. Okay, it opened my eyes to keeping only the things you love. Anyway, after the hubster moved to Michigan I GET A GIANT WALK-IN CLOSET TO MYSELF NOW. (Read: I miss you honey!) So I rearranged my closet to my hearts content. 

konmari

Mad about: My stupid ankle that I injured. It may or may not have been the first (and last time) playing Pokemon Go. But I seemed to really give it a good sprain. Currently it’s wrapped and iced and propped up like any ER doc’s wife should do. Speaking of, wonder if he can get me some pain meds…

Sporting my new kicks during #NYAGmile today. (@newbalance Vazee) I’m purposely hiding my right ankle because it’s swollen from accidentally twisting it while playing #PokemonGo. No, I’m not kidding. No, I don’t want to talk about it. 😳👍🏻😂

A photo posted by Caroline, Not Your Average Gal (@notaveragegal) on Jul 15, 2016 at 4:47pm PDT


Curious about:
All this inbreeding on Game of Thrones…

 

Filed Under: Musings, Soapbox

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