Confessions

Kamalpal (Paul) Roy

Walnut Creek, California

Environmental Functional Area Group Leader for Waste and Air Quality at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory

Kids: Ages 3 and 9 months

When did you first start getting scared/nervous about COVID-19?

When I read in early March that there was a cruise ship containing 3500 people in the port of Oakland (about 20 minutes from our home) with confirmed cases on board.

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

Mornings: Up at ~7:55AM, triage my inbox in bed, make coffee and breakfast, check if I have any meetings where I will be expected to have my camera on, and shower if needed. Attend my morning meetings via WebEx.

Afternoons: Routinely go for a long walk (~7500 steps with hills) with my wife in our neighborhood with our masks on, determine what we will have for lunch and dinner, and finish off my 1,000th WebEx of the day.

Evenings: Make either a cocktail or mocktail (depending on the level of pandemic fatigue experienced that day), try and fit in another walk with the boys, take the dogs out to the backyard, jump into the hot tub, and make dinner as a family (our kids are not all that helpful).

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

Not being able to see our family and friends, which includes the traveling aspect for us.

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

The birth of our second son, the time that I have spent with my family, and the new administration in the White House.  

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Treat your home office work life like you were still going to the office in person with respect to your children. Meaning, if you would not be able to get involved with caretaker issues with your children while you were at work, don't do it now just because you are home.

Favorite quote:

“This too shall pass.”

Medieval Persian Sufi poets

Meg McClure

London, England, UK

Former study abroad coordinator

When did you first start getting scared/nervous about COVID-19?

By mid-February, my workplace was beginning to put extra hygiene measures into place (extra signage, a hand sanitizing station in the building foyer, etc) and we were having weekly meetings to assess the situation. When our programs in Florence, Italy made the decision to send the students back to their homes in the US and continue the learning online at the end of February, this was a big line-in-the-sand moment.

Meanwhile, my friends in Italy (where I lived for most of my 20s) were reporting strict lockdown measures beginning to be put into action. It was around this time that I worried it would soon impact the UK – and a week later, I contracted the virus myself!

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

My day begins around 10AM. I’ve never been a morning person my whole life, so I’m enjoying leaning in to my natural circadian rhythms! My boyfriend brings me coffee in bed around 10AM; I read the newspaper online and sometimes have a phone call or two.

I make lunch for the both of us and either do some domestic things around the house, volunteer at a local food bank, spend time online job hunting or participating in market research; or take a walk/do some grocery shopping, depending on what day it is.

I make dinner for us 80% of the time; we generally eat around 7 and spend the evening watching movies or TV together or, in good weather, walking along the river or in the forest preserve near our apartment.

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

Not being able to see friends and family, and losing my job. I had been contemplating a career change anyway, but it’s been challenging, seeing my industry all but crumble in front of me. It will take awhile for study abroad to return to “normal,” and I don’t doubt it will have to find a new normal.

On more of a “first world problems” note, not being able to travel has been soul-destroying. Martin and I had high hopes of escaping to the Maldives or the Seychelles this winter, and that’s definitely not happening, given how things are going in the UK under lockdown. At present, it’s just not possible to even plan any trips, which is where I find joy!

Not singing has also been devastating for me. Although my choirs do online rehearsals and social events, I struggle with these – for me, nothing replaces the collective soul of singing together in the same room.

Looking back, what is your favorite memory of 2020?

There have been several socially distanced surprise visits to friends. I arranged with my best friend’s husband to pay her a surprise visit not long after she had her baby. When the time came, he coaxed her outside without telling her that she had a visitor; I was waiting in a mask, face shield and gloves! We spent a great afternoon catching up in her backyard – me 25 feet away under my own biohazard tent!

Another friend was shielding at home on Halloween, so three of our mutual friends and I put on Halloween costumes, stood in her front garden, scratched on her window like cats and when she opened the curtains, we did a choreographed dance to Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights”, one of her favorite songs. I prepared a “Love, Actually” esque homage with cue cards for another friend who was quarantining at home and stuck on her own on Christmas Eve, again from the safety of her front window. Finding creative ways to socialize without getting too close has been fun!

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Be kind to yourself! None of this is normal, and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed or under-energized. If you can’t quite manage to stick to a strict routine like you may have had in pre-plague days, hey – that’s OK.

Favorite quote:

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

 Oscar Wilde

Kendra Caralis

Grosse Pointe Woods, MI

High School Social Studies Teacher

Kids: Ages 9, 7 and 2

When did you first start getting scared/nervous?

We took the boys on a trip in February to London and Paris, and I was a little apprehensive but not too worried yet. Then the week before everything shut down, my dad got married in NC. We took the boys on a plane and I remember thinking, “Is this really a good idea?” We got home on a Monday, school shut down that Friday.

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

Well, the boys are back to hybrid, so it’s a little more normal. Some mornings we have to get them out the door for school, other mornings I leave without them and they are at home for the day doing async work. I don’t have to rush out to pick them up from school anymore so I’m actually able to stay at my school later in the evenings and do work. We still do dinner, and I work out more often now in order to destress.

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

Seeing our boys struggle in school has been tough. Some topics just don’t get done, and we have to be ok with that. This year is different, and we are doing the best we can. The other part was my gym closing. It had been my release and was a huge help with my mental health struggles. Not having that was a big big change. I’m thankful it’s been back open now since September.

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

So many more students know how to do things online for school. I can give assignments in our physical class and they know how to submit them. Less copies to make at school. I also was able to eat lunch like an adult instead of rushing during a quick lunch break at school. That was nice. 

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Be ready to adjust and change it. Make time for yourself as well. My time at the gym has been huge and necessary.

Favorite quote:

“I am not the same, having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world. ”

Mary Anne Radmacher

Judi Kwon

Rochester Hills, MI

Purchasing professional

Kids: Age 4

When did you first start getting scared/nervous? 

Just about right away.  My sister is an epidemiologist and with all the people I know in the medical field, I don't mess around. The last week I was in the office, I distinctly recall being in the ladies' room and hearing someone use the facilities and then walk out without washing her hands even though stores were ALREADY running out of disinfectant, hand sanitizer, and hand soap. Also, seeing people carry on with their plans for St Patty's day- We were doomed.

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

I start at 7am so I usually roll out of bed by 6:30/6:45.  I do get a workout outfit on or at least part of one because it makes it easier to get out the door for a midday or mid-afternoon run. In the summers I prefer a late-evening run. When it's nice out, we spend a lot of time outdoors as a family just taking care of things around the house.

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

Not having the OPTION to see friends.

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

RUNNING and my run friends, getting to know my new neighbors in Rochester through virtual groups.

Looking back, what is your favorite memory of 2020? 

Making myself run in the cold and heat and learning I can push myself further than I thought previously!

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Make time for yourself. Reach out to others who you care for and don't be afraid to call people out on their shit. Sometimes they need that reality slap.

Favorite quote:

“I stopped waiting for light at the end of the tunnel. I lit that bitch up myself.”

Adrienne Rönmark

Troy, MI

Violinist, Detroit Symphony Orchestra
Private Violin Teacher 
PR/Marketing Director Brookfield Academy Education Foundation

Kids: Ages 12, 10, 8

When did you first start getting scared/nervous?

I remember sitting on stage rehearsing Beethoven 9 with over 150 people including a chorus the day before the concerts were all cancelled. Schools had been shut down the week before, and we knew Covid was risky. We had a discussion onstage about whether we should proceed with the rehearsal since we knew that new emergency orders were coming out by the hour and there was a good chance the week's concerts would be cancelled. I just kept thinking about all of the people in the room, how close we all were and how much I was breathing in other people's air. Then I got the Emergency Alert stay at home order pushed to my Apple Watch during rehearsal. It was the most uncomfortable and nervous I've been in a long time, and my job is to perform for thousands of people multiple times a week. 😬

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

Kids are all virtual learners from home, so mornings are prepping them for the start of school. Periodic check ins during the day to make sure that technology is all working and they are logging on to the proper links at the right time. Constantly cooking (feeding three children at home is no joke, I swear they eat twice as much as they would at school…hello Costco delivery)! Afternoons are spent managing homework, organizing online tutoring sessions, and cooking dinner. Evenings I turn in early to push start again the next day. Usually fall asleep to YouTube gardening videos (my new hobby) to calm the mind and destress. Weekends are my work days, teaching online for DSO Civic Youth Ensembles, maintaining my private studio of young violinists, and recording recitals and donor relation videos for DSO. Any spare time is spent running fundraising campaigns for my kids' school's Education Foundation, as well as gardening!

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

The loneliness. Most days I don't talk to any adults other than my husband. I miss the casual social interactions at work, and I miss having moments of the day when I am not “in charge.”Being a parent is always 24/7, but being a working parent outside of the home gives you respite to know that someone else is caring for your kids for a few hours and you can mentally go “on call.”Being home 24/7 with kids AND having to balance work and their mental health, and my mental health…it's kind of a losing battle. As much as I am sincerely grateful for the time I've gained with my family this past year, I really look forward to filling my own bucket with some solitude and adult conversation!

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

Definitely getting to see my husband more! During a normal year his work schedule (he's VP and GM for DSO) is on overdrive and even though we work for the same organization, I never get to see him at work. Since March 2020 he has been working from home, and it's SO nice to feel a part of a team as well as have his humor to get through the day! Parenting is hard enough, but when you don't have a teammate to good cop/bad cop, it can absolutely put you under. I'm so thankful for our family game nights and movie nights, pizza Fridays, taco Tuesdays, and just all getting to be together during a time in their childhood when their school and individual interests would be moving them apart. 

Second best thing? Starting my vegetable garden! 

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

As tempting as it is since we are all in our pjs all day, DON'T CHECK EMAIL IN BED 😆 No, seriously. I constantly am revamping our bedroom to function as studio space/recording space/personal sanctuary space and it is SO important to have clear boundaries on where and when you do your work.

Favorite quote:

“To see and be seen. That is the truest nature of Love.”

brené Brown

Meghan Jameson

Evans, GA

Full-time mom, 2nd grade facilitator, preschool teacher, general contractor (major house renos), family barber, manager of Tidewater Solutions.

Kids: Ages 8 and 3

Which month did you start adjusting your day-to-day routine?

Day 1. As soon as schools were closed. I no longer went to work. The kids no longer went to school. My husband, Matt, was home, mostly all day every day. I barely even tried to continue teaching 1st grade to my daughter. There was no live instruction then, it was all on the parents and I was like, “Uhhhh yeah forget it.” And the videos that my son's preschool teachers sent over? So cute, but no freaking way. My daughter Face-timed with her friends for hours, I mean hours, every day. Prior to that she had never done that, or texted anyone, or even heard of Facebook messenger. 

I had no idea when the hell it would end. I did finance committee meetings for the theater that was my client in the garage from my car because it was the only place I could get peace and quiet. I worked from the kitchen table instead of the office so I could keep an eye on the kids while they destroyed the house. I was interrupted approximately every 5 minutes, and my kids watched way too much TV. When I was about to lose it, Matt would put them in the car and just drive. Nowhere to go, but he would just drive for hours. 

I was never meant to be a stay at home mom. I always said I wasn't cut out for it, and it was honestly terrifying to me that I had to figure out how to be a parent ALL. DAY. LONG. I had no idea what to do. Stay at home parents make plans. They have play dates. They get out of the house because not getting out MAKES YOU CRAZY. I LOVED my job, and all I wanted to do was go to work, not be home with my kids and try to be their everything. 

Over time, we started to visit with my parents again out of desperation for all of us, and that was a blessing. Finally being able to share the load of child-rearing with my parents and get a breath every now and then was huge. 

Things were getting worse with Matt's job, so he applied to about 60 jobs (we had an awesome resume writer, cough cough). I was still legitimately terrified of getting and dying from COVID. I have bad luck with that kind of thing and felt certain it would happen to me. 

Around August, our luck changed. Matt was offered the job of a lifetime as General Manager for a brand new theater in Evans, GA, which happened to be an hour from his parents. It truly felt too good to be true. He has to have been the only person in the entire country who was HIRED in the event industry during a pandemic. 

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

7:30AM Wake up, make coffee. Make cinnamon rolls, feed them to the children while they watch Disney+ on the couch. (survival mode, here still)

8:15AM — Matt leave for work (no more waking him up)

8:30AM — load both kids in the car. Count the school buses as we pass them. Drive past the llama farm. Drop my son off at preschool (we saved so much money not having childcare since March. We moved here and I put my son in a church preschool that costs 1/10 of the monthly charge I used to pay — unbelievable. Plus, my mother-in-law is thrilled because he says the blessing before dinner when they come to visit. So what if he thinks that his Baby Yoda is baby Jesus. He's learning).

9:00AM — stop at Gigi's and Papa's house, give them a hug, or stop for a donut if we didn't have cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

9:30AM —My daughter logs in to school from our bonus room in our new house. I thank the heavens every day for her teacher. I go sit in my newly renovated home office and work. My productivity level has increased dramatically since pre-pandemic. 

My daughter interrupts me periodically, but usually I don't mind. 

Sometimes she asks me to sit in the bonus room with her, and well, thank goodness for laptops. 

1PM: Son is out of school — Papa picks him up and they play at his house for the afternoon 

1:45PM — Lunchtime — if it's a nice day, we take the golf cart that we own now (we live near Augusta, GA in a golf cart neighborhood) to the neighborhood McDonald's. We blast the music, let the wind blow our hair and get some lunch and a coffee. 

2:30PM — My daughter is back to school, and I work until she is done at 4:15. 

The evenings vary. No activities yet, so we either cook as a family, eat at my parents, or get some take out. We've started to venture out to eat some now that all the grandparents are vaccinated (and we've had our first dose), but we discovered that dining out with a 3-year-old is still not that fun!!! He choked on a quesadilla the other night and puked all over me in a restaurant. During a pandemic. I may never make friends in this town. 

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Slow down. Do less, live in the moment. I always heard that, but it took a pandemic to force me to actually do it. Go easy on yourself.

Favorite quote:

“Leave judgement at the door, let curiosity in.”

Sean McKale

Ann Arbor, MI

Orthotist – I make and fit people with all types of braces. My specific team that I manage fits a lot of back braces on people with broken spines, and fit devices on people that have just gone through surgeries to help them to stay immobilized for healing. 

Kids: Ages 8 and 5

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

We are participating in a POD with two other families. In total we have 5 children, and how it works is that 1 parent is the host and then the 5 kids do their school work. Two kids are in the third grade, one is second, and two are in the young 5’s program at our local school. For me, that has meant I am working 4 day work weeks. 

In the fall, I was fortunate to have access to the eFMLA (e stands for emergency) that the federal government made available as were two of the other pod parents b/c they both work for the university. That meant I would work Mon-Thursday and then stay home with the kids on Friday. I am still covering the Pod on Fridays, but now am working 4-10hour shifts to be able to make it all work. Our Pod also gets together often after school on Wed-Fri where the kids continue to play together and we sit and have dinner together. It’s always nice to not have to prepare a meal or clean some dishes. But most importantly is the community aspect of splitting bread with one another. I really feel for the people/families doing this on their own.

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

The hardest thing is not being able to travel and see more family. My wife is from Toronto and we are missing a year in the life of cousins for our children, and not seeing their grandmother. A year is a long time in a young person’s life, and they have both changes so much. 

It is also difficult that they have not been in school and what that means for their own personal growth and learning. We have made the best of this situation, but it is not the best situation. 

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

The Flying Squirrel croquet club. Before Covid I would play garage pool with a group of dads in the neighborhood. Once COVID came about that put and end to that. It began getting warm in the spring and we understood social distancing and being outdoors would be alright. We began playing croquet on Thursday nights in the park next to my friend’s house. He strung up a large number of string lights amongst the tall oak tree’s and we gathered to play in whatever weather occurs. Being out there we have discovered living amongst the trees are some flying squirrels and whenever we saw one soar through the sky it would always bring some excitement to our evening. The fellowship and socialization has kept us all going throughout this, and having fun is such an important thing to do.

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Find your community, and ask for support. People can not do this on their own. I think we have been reasonable with our POD size but we are not alone on this, and the support from others has been amazing.

Favorite quote:

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

Theodore Roosevelt

Sarah Kennedy

Bloomington, IL

Stay at home mom, part-time dance teacher

Kids: Ages 9 & 11

Which month did you start adjusting your day-to-day routine?

I had to start right away in late March. All in person activities were canceled. I would work with my girls in the morning on school work. They didn't have much to do since the school had to assume the students didn't have a lot to work with at home. I started recording classes for my dance students and eventually moved to having Zoom classes. I learned really quick how to keep preschoolers attention for 30 minutes over Zoom. I have to give so much credit to teachers with virtual teaching. It's tough.

We had a lot more time on our hands as a family. My oldest didn't have 12 hours of gymnastics practice a week, my youngest didn't have in person dance or theater classes. We were home all the time except for doctor appointments. I went grocery shopping every other week. I didn't allow my daughters to play with friends. They got around that rule by sitting/playing by the fence with our neighbor on the other side. I have pictures of my girls playing Roblox with their neighbor friend, with them sitting on each side of our fence. One day in the spring they had a water balloon fight over the fence. (This was actually my oldest daughter's favorite memory of 2020, the daily meetups at the fence) Eventually, I gave in and let my daughters play with a small selected group of friends in the neighborhood outside.

Our area didn't start to open back up until June. At that point, my dance studio opened its doors to students, my oldest was able to return to gymnastics practice and my youngest was able to resume theater. I was super cautious with my dance students, I really emphasized staying apart and practicing Social Dis-Dancing.

What does your current daily routine look like for mornings, afternoons and evenings:

Our routines have almost all returned to pre-Covid, except my husband is still working from home. He really enjoys working from home and dreads the return. State Farm has only a few people who volunteered to return in office right now. He will be one of the last to return in office due to health conditions and being on the list to receive a kidney transplant.

The main difference is schooling. They began the school year completely virtual. The district was much better prepared to offer virtual learning. In October, the district switched to a hybrid schedule for all grades, 2 days in person, 3 days virtual. November we went full virtual again due to increasing cases. January, they returned to Hybrid. Finally in February, elementary is now in school 5 days a week. My oldest is at the middle school and only attends school in person 2 days a week, the other 3 days she is virtual.

All of our pre-covid activities have resumed. We just have to wear masks everywhere. I buy masks like cute socks. You can never have too many. I swear everytime I come home from the grocery store, I come home with another one, plus I make them too.

What is the toughest part of the pandemic?

The constant uncertainty and worry. I hate the feeling I have after each time I visit or drive my father (73yrs) to a doctor appointment. I'm always on edge those 5-7 days after a visit with him. It was so hard to see my dad, who doesn't quite comprehend completely what is going on, have to isolate so much. The residents had to stay in their rooms and eat all meals in room instead of in the dining hall. My father is a very social guy and it was very hard for him. I didn't have him over because with him living with other seniors I didn't want to expose them as well if he were to get sick. They have been able to relax restrictions in the building for the residents. They now rotate who eats in the dinning hall and they are allowed to use the common areas. Last week, they were finally able to vaccinate everyone in his building. That was a huge relief.

For my husband, it was the unexpected death of his father. It wasn't due to covid, it was a heart condition. It was difficult not being able to have the family together in the hospital. Once we knew he wasn't going to recover, the hospital did allow my husband and his brother to be there to support his mom and say goodbye to their dad. We were blessed that they were able to do that since so many others were not allowed to do that during the pandemic.

What is the best thing to come out of the pandemic?

Family time! We enjoyed tv series, movies, and games together. I loved not having to run someplace each night. The pandemic also placed a huge spotlight on what was available locally. We ordered take out from new restaurants.We really made a conscious effort to do our Christmas shopping locally. Funny thing, we actually tried not to order anything from Amazon over the pandemic.

My husband would say the best part is his mountain man beard and hair. We have only cut his hair once since March 2020, and that was because his mom made him for the funeral.

What is one piece of advice that you learned from your own day-to-day that could help others with their daily schedule?

Take it day by day, and be flexible and accepting.

Favorite quote:

“Everyday above ground is a great day.”

Pitbull, Time of our lives