Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

Caroline Peterson

Canceling our Trip to Southeast Asia & How Things Will Get Better

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I’m not sure where to begin, so I’ll just dive into the vulnerability pool. It’s been a whirlwind 6 days of emotionally epic proportions. Life has a freakishly maddening way of reminding you that you aren’t in control of anything…even a trip you’ve been planning for 6 months.

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It’s safe to say that medical school is tough; perhaps even the toughest educational path to partake in and complete. Do not take that word ‘tough’ lightly. Med students possess only a shred of the stamina and dedication I could ever muster up even in my happiest, “This is my passion!” kind of moments. (Side note: My “This is my passion!” moments usually involve sipping a Mai Tai on a beach.)

There are certain sacrifices you make as a med student spouse that go completely unnoticed by nearly everyone. Silent rearrangements of plans. A casual protector for why he isn’t there or hasn’t called back. Living with the constant unknown of where the next year or two or four will take you. Pulling out your best motivational speeches even when you’re looking for some yourself. Wearing your game face in an atmosphere of constant underlying stress. Juggling multiple life goals, career paths and dreams while still trying still to find time to change the damn toilet roll. Lonely nights. Lonely weeks. Lonely holidays. Master ninja glasses taker-offer when he’s fallen asleep.

Med school tests your willingness to make sacrifices nearly every day.

Our trip will just have to be one of them. It’s just as simple and as sad as that.

Stress has a tendency to sneak up on you and remind you it was always simmering slowly anyway. Even if this trip had been in the works for about 6 months, you never know just how you’ll feel prior to departure. Without going into details, the rigors of med school essentially reared it’s ugly head. I found out last weekend just how much.

Balance is key. Hell, I think I’m funny as all get-out, (I mean, c’mon, I named my boobs Ginger and Spice in high school for God’s sake) but sometimes there isn’t as much of a need for humor in a situation like this as there is for a good ol’ regular schedule. While I’m pretty good at taking care of myself so I can be the best version of me possible, the pressure of med school is unyielding; often making it tough to be able to take necessary, healthy, healing breaks. The appropriate decision was to cancel the trip to encourage this regularly while studying, in a routine that wouldn’t be possible while traveling.

The hubster’s health, happiness and sanity matter more to me than any trip. Sure he’s my best and favorite travel partner. But sometimes you have to take off your (adorable) travel partner hat and be the life partner he needs.

Like I’ve mentioned here, planning this trip has been my refuge from stress. (I’ve cried in my work bathroom more times than I care to admit, so I don’t do it at home.) Perhaps excitingly planning this trip was my sanity check and kept me at a safe distance from the stress of witnessing the hardship of med school? Perhaps that was the only purpose it needed to serve? And, quite frankly, it served it well.

I’m slowly going through the process of canceling flights, hotels and tours and returning things to stores that we now won’t need. (I didn’t want those matronly looking white capri pants anyway…) There are frustrating rebooking fees associated with redepositing airline miles and points, not to mention the non-refundable things already paid for. I’ve become an expert at asking for a portion of the fees to be taken off, Delta for instance, was awesome. We had 5 flights booked, 3 of which were on award tickets. We won’t be reimbursed for the 2 we paid in cash, but the redeposit fees for our award tickets were significantly lower after a nice Silver Medallion Delta rep took the reigns to see what she could do. I’m currently investigating travel cancellation insurance we have, but we’ll see what, if anything, is covered.

But guess what? It’s just money. That’s it. Just money.

It’s not all sunshine and unicorns farting rainbows. I didn’t have this perspective immediately. I’ve had my moments in this whole deal. I actually said this week when we were talking about med school, “You know this isn’t easy for me either?!” I stomped my feet just like you’re imagining, too.

In the throes of seeing my husband dealing with more than I can imagine and knowing our trip was going to need to be canceled, I started making a mental list of the pros and cons of this present situation. Call it a coping mechanism or relics from therapists of the past - it works.

Pros

  • I have a ton of unused PTO now
  • I’ve been putting off going to the dermatologist, now I can go sooner
  • Teen Mom 2 starts next week!
  • I can focus getting more blogs written ahead of time
  • We may be able to go on a shorter vacation
  • I could do a solo travel trip before the end of the year that both excites and scares the living shit out of me
  • I can practice and play with our new GoPro more
  • I have an ungodly amount of unused miles and points now
  • When we do end up going back to Southeast Asia (even years from now), I know exactly what to plan
  • I lost 3 pounds from stress this past weekend. (I’ll take it. It’s a judgement-free zone here, folks.)

Cons

  • Not spending quality time exploring with the hubster. To put it into perspective, I probably won’t be able to travel with him for longer than a weekend until at least July of 2016.
  • Not seeing the temples of Bagan, Myanmar. I had dreams about quietly exploring that part of the world that hasn’t been totally ruined by tourism yet. By the time we go, it just may be.
  • No lie-flat first class experience for us
  • No delicious curries
  • Being unable to shoot the videos I had pictured in my head. I even had a song chosen for the montage.
  • Being immersed in totally different cultures and reveling in it.
  • I still have to unpack because, of course, I already packed.

Traveling is an integral part of who I am; it feeds my soul. I will get a chance to feed that, it will just be at a later date and not the trip I had been planning. It may be a solo trip. It may be a long weekend with the hubster. It may be another girls trip to Europe. It may be 3-4 days on an island nearby named Cuba. Who knows? It just won’t be happening right at this very instance.

Life sometimes just won’t allow for it to be planned out 6 months ahead of time and that’s okay. Things will get better. This will eventually be a blip in the radar of life. Years from now, I’m sure we’ll look back at the end of the 3rd year of medical school and admire how we got through it. Smile at how close it brought us. Laugh at how trivial wanting a damn good dish of curry could be.

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Now for a special shout-out to you guys, my readers. I know your life doesn’t revolve around our now canceled trip, but I know you would have enjoyed the posts and for that I’m sorry. I promise to continue to update my arsenal of posts from past travels and life anecdotes that I haven’t told you about yet.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a Mai Tai and a beach.

Fear Disguised as Practicality

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There is a wonderful speech Jim Carrey gave at Maharishi University of Management’s graduation. I encourage you to watch it in full, but this particular portion below is quite inspiring. Take a moment to watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajMpfPYlHi4

I’ll wait.

You back?

Good, right?

There are moments in my life where I could have chosen or was well on my way to choosing a more practical path, even if my heart was tugging in a different direction. I vividly remember sitting with my father a couple years after college, going over my finances and budgeting so I could make a down payment on a condo eventually.

“It will be tough. But you’re doing well, kiddo. I’m not worried about you.”

Remember when the economy took a rough tumble? The real estate market crashed. Wall Street threw up over everyone’s stocks. I lost my job. Many people lost their jobs. I could have easily been like so many people, stuck with a mortgage in a shit economy with no hope of selling in the near future.

It was a lucky break. I hadn’t seriously started looking into buying a condo yet when it happened.

Why the heck would I want to do that when I bought my car right after college, instead of leasing, just in case I landed a job abroad and I’d have to break a car lease. Yes, that’s how much I wanted to move back to London after I had my internship there and was forced to come back to the states a broke college grad with an expensive degree to start paying back.

If I couldn’t commit to a 3 year car lease, why the hell would I even look into buying a condo a couple years later then?

Fear.

Fear disguised as practicality.

Real estate was the American Dream. It was what you were supposed to do.

Living abroad again? Where will you settle down if you’re not in the U.S.? What would you do for the holidays? How can you live a fulfilling life without the picket fence and 2.5 kids? Why would you want to do that?

I just knew I did, but the fear of not doing the standard thing tugged at me for a brief moment and I thought I should save for a condo.

Baby Jesus I’m glad it never worked out in hindsight. The universe is such a crazy beast.

My point in all of this is, on many, many different levels society gently whispers and asks you to do the standard thing and if you’re not feeling it, I mean really feeling it…there’s a reason. As Jim Carrey said in that speech, you can still do all the right things, make all the right decisions, provide exactly what is asked of you and you can still get laid off. What a total fucking slap in the face.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.

Do you know how many absurd things I’ve heard in regard to my travels, even this most recent trip coming up?

  • MYANMAR? Why don’t you go somewhere normal?
  • Dogs have rabies there. I hope you don’t come back frothing at the mouth.
  • Southeast Asia again? You guys must really like being weird.
  • You know you could stay home and visit other people instead?
  • You have your whole life to travel. You don’t have to do it now.
  • That seems so extravagant for this point in your life.
  • I wish you wouldn’t go so I don’t have to worry.
  • You must be millionaires. I’d rather spend my money on solid investments.

Thank God we don’t make our travel decisions based on what other people think of us, right?

Hey, buck-o. Same goes for you in any garden-variety decision you may have in your life. There is not one specific path you need to take and settling for the easy way because of money or pressure from the peanut gallery promoting practicality over your own damn way of doing something is just:

fear disguised as practicality.

I’m not saying do anything rash here like jump out of plane without a parachute because that’s a practical thing to wear. That would make you stupid. And dead. I’m saying if people are running their mouths about their own damn fears for you, which are often conveniently disguised as practicality, take it, put it in a little box, wrap a bow on it and toss it under the “Couldn’t Care Less Tree” for someone else to open and carry.

If I listened to every nasty, unsupportive comment said about getting married in England, we wouldn’t have shared a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

If I listened to my grandparents tell me to not build too many castles in the sky, I wouldn’t have taken that life changing internship in London.

If I listened to traditionalists who said we should have a normal wedding registry, we’d never have taken our eye-opening honeymoon to Thailand and Cambodia.

If I listened to Jillian Michaels, I’d have better arms.

Wait a second…

Don’t live your life believing something isn’t possible because it isn’t practical. Conservative choices can still disappoint you.

Dare to ask the universe for what you want. 

Preparation and Excitement

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They say preparing and anticipating for a trip is as exciting as the trip itself. I’m pretty sure TripAdvisor has some legitimate concerns about how often I’ve been logged in. Is there a TripAdvisor Intervention team?

“Dear Caroline, Your addiction to TripAdvisor has affected my life negatively in the following ways…”

These last few months have been incredibly stressful in our household; the culmination being this month with important exams occurring. I’m not sure how to describe medical school to everyone else other than saying it’s a slow form of torture. It’s tough to watch and very often, tough to be a part of.

Perhaps planning has been my outlet? The med school hubster doesn’t have time to help, so it’s been my responsibility and a way to “check out” from the stress. Either way, I think it’s safe to say we are both very happy to see this trip happen at the beginning of July.

Preparation:

– All of our visas for Vietnam, Myanmar and Cambodia have been approved online and are ready to be stamped once we arrive (pending an in-person approval)
– Extra passport photos printed:

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– Obnoxious To-Do list made

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– Make sure all of my travel docs are printed
-Buy all the last-minute travel size items (P.S.- Have I ever told you my love for travel-size items?!)
– Learn how to use my new GoPro!
– Plan out posts here while I’m gone

 

Excitement:

I very often walk a fine line of having just the right amount planned and not leaving enough time to explore or, you know, relax like normal humans.

I held myself back a couple times while preparing for this trip to not make reservations for every food or walking tour in site. I fully believe they are beneficial to immersing yourself and learning more about cultures. But, while I may struggle with it, I want to be a bit more spontaneous. Some of my favorite memories from Thailand or Cambodia were when we had nothing planned and just explored.

FOMO be dammed, I’m trying to be okay knowing we may not hit every single thing Trip Advisor…advises.

That said, there are some things that needed to be reserved prior to arrival and few things I’m just really looking forward to:

The Flights

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To Hanoi, Vietnam:
We’ll be flying in the Prestige Class of Korean Airlines in their lie-flat beds and they. have. a. bar.

To the U.S.:
We’ll be flying home in First Class on Delta’s upper deck. I’ve always wanted to fly in the upper deck of a 747 and since most are going out of commission, I’m happy I’ll be able to. Plus, lie-flat beds!

 

Vietnam

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HanoiKids
This student-run organization provides tours around Hanoi and adjusts the half-day or full-day tour depending on what you want to see. The tours are free and used as a way for students to practice their English. How cool, right? I can’t wait for them to tell us the best place to get egg coffee.

Courtesy of Wikimedia: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ha_Long_Bay.jpg
Courtesy of Wikimedia: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ha_Long_Bay.jpg

 

Halong Bay
Not only am I so excited to check this beautiful place off my travel list, but we decided to splurge and reserve a suite on a eco-friendly junk boat overnight. (That’s the local term for the boats.) I’m excited to explore the bay, kayak and take beautiful pictures. Everything I’ve read says you get what you pay for, so I’m hoping that’s true.

 

Myanmar

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Bagan Temples
I just want to hop on an eBike, strap my GoPro on and explore, explore, explore. I’m hoping I don’t have my expectations set too high because this is really what I’m thinking the highlight may be.

 

Cambodia

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New Hope Cambodia
This NGO provides education, training, housing and health programs for impoverished youth and families. Many of the families cannot afford public school fees, clothes or food and are at-risk for human traffickers. I read about the training restaurant that has lunch and dinner for patrons cooked by students in training. I emailed to inquire more and it looks like we’ll be doing a tour, eating lunch as well as talking to the medical team. Med school hubster is very happy.  (Psst. I am too.) Read more here.

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Tour with Nat
The last time we visited Cambodia, we did a tour of Angkor Wat with a tour guide named Nat. We had such a crazy-fun time that I emailed him recently to see if he’d take us around again, and it looks like he’s available!

 

South Korea

I have zero planned here. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. But we only have about 48 hours and to be honest, I just want a video of me dancing to Gangnam Style to send to my dad while we’re staying at the Intercontinental COEX in Gangnam. It’s a favorite song of his. This is a judgement-free zone.

 

So I’d say that aside from some last-minute purchases and fitting everything into a carry-on (imagine me doing the sign of the cross right now and I’m not even Catholic), we’re well on our way to taking off in 3-ish weeks. What do you think of our plans?

 

Happy National Running Day!

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Running has always been an integral part of my adult life. It’s my sanity check. It’s my alone time. It has surely provided me so much more than the occasional ache or pain. Whenever I’m on a run and I don’t think I can finish strong, I have to remind myself, “Caroline. You ran 2 freakin’ half-marathons. Get a grip. Now go and rock it out.”

Running does that. It brings out your tough girl or guy mentality and reminds you that you’re strong and capable no matter your speed.

So, in honor of National Running Day, (Yeah, I know. I guess that’s a thing) I’ve put together some of my favorite running quotes.

Let the inspiration seep in, my friends.

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This hung above my half-marathon training calendar for months.
This hung above my half-marathon training calendar for months.

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And, for laughs…because it’s true.

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My Favorite Programs for Earning Miles and Points

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Now that you know The Basics of Earning Miles and Points, let me take you down Points Potential Lane.

My Favorite Programs for Earning Miles and Points | Caroline Made This
Lisbon, Portugal

As I mentioned, we earned most of our miles initially on Delta and it has paid for our major flights on our upcoming trip.

Hey-o Southeast Asia in business/first class…in one month!

Would I purposefully earn miles on Delta now? Probably not. Delta in the last year and a half has turned into a revenue based frequent flier program. For a non-business traveler like me, it doesn’t bode well. I’m a lowly Silver Medallion on their SkyMiles program. While I probably see more complimentary upgrades than most Silver Medallions because my home airport isn’t a huge hub, I’m also not trying (willingly) to spend $2,500 towards earning Silver Medallion status for the next year. I will have enough miles, but I will not have spent enough to maintain my status. So, sadly, we need to spread our wings and fly to more programs. (See what I did there?)

You can read more about Delta Skymiles devaluation and the program turning revenue based here.

That said, we both separately have the Delta Platinum AMEX and will keep it simply for the free companion pass we get each year and checked luggage. It makes the $195 fee worth it. (I don’t know many flights that are cheaper than $195.)

Saying goodbye to Delta actually makes me a bit sad as I love Delta as a brand and I’ve enjoyed my Silver Medallion status. It just doesn’t make fiscal sense if we have other ways of earning free or nearly free flights.

So, if Delta Skymiles aren’t something I’m actively earning on credit cards right now. What would I recommend?

 

My Favorite Credit Cards (thus far)

Remember, I’ve only been in the points game for about a year and a half. These are the programs for earning miles and points that have worked well for me.

Chase Sapphire Preferred (contact me if you want want a referral)

In the points game, this card has been king for awhile. I use this card for my normal spend on everything. Why? The Ultimate Rewards program, where you can transfer and use your points, is pretty fantastic.

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  • Current Bonus:
    • 40,000 points when you spend $4,000 on purchases in the first three months.
    • 5,000 bonus points when you add an additional cardholder
  • Benefits: 2x points on travel and dining, no foreign transaction fees, primary auto rental insurance and the ability to transfer points to 11 transfer partners through the Ultimate Rewards program
  • Annual Fee: $95 which is waived the first year.

 

Chase Freedom (contact me if you want want a referral)

Much like the Chase Sapphire Preferred, the Freedom is another great card from Chase and utilizes the same Ultimate Rewards Program. While each purchase on this card earns 1 point, during each quarter, certain purchases earn 5x the points. All you need to do is “register” (hit a button on your account online) before each quarter and boom, you’re earning 5x the points.

Below are the retailers you can earn 5x the points with for this quarter. (Side note: I can’t wait for Christmas and that Amazon 5x bonus. Errrrrbody will be getting gifts through Amazon this year.)

chasefreedom

  • Current Bonus: 
    • $200 (20,000 points) limited time offer after spending $500 on purchases in your first three months
  • Benefits: Get 5% cash back (5x the points) on up to $1,500 spent at featured stores that change each quarter.
  • Annual Fee: $0

 

Chase Ink Plus

If you’ve ever received a gift card from me, I’ve bought it using this card. That’s because you can get 5x the points at office supply stores and guess what’s sold there- hey-o, gift cards! Plus, television, internet and cable services all earn 5x the points. Oh and 2x the points at gas stations. Oh AND you can transfer points through, you guessed it, Ultimate Rewards. Yup, this card is great. (This is a business credit card.)

  • Current Bonus:
    • 50,000 points after spending $5,000 in the first three months.
  • Benefits: Earn 5x the points at office supply stores, cable, cell and internet service. Plus 2x the points at gas stations and also on hotel accommodations. No foreign transaction fees. Ultimate Rewards transfers.
  • Annual Fee: $95

 

Starwood American Express (Contact me if you want a referral)

While I haven’t used the points I’ve earned on this card (yet) at the hotels that are part of the Starwood Properties, the beauty of this card is you can transfer points to 30 different partners.

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Plus, hello, you can use an Amex at Costco.

Cheers to massive amounts of toilet paper and paper towels.

  • Current Bonus: 
    • 25,000 points when you spend $3,000 in purchases within your first three months.
  • Benefits: Double points on at Starwood hotels (This includes the Westin and W hotels), plus you can transfer points to more than 30 different partners.
  • Annual Fee: $65 is waived the first year.

 

Great Cards for Non-Everyday Spend

Now these are cards I still have and use sometimes, but the beauty of the points game is you can “earn and burn” points quickly, as the professional churners say. Basically, these are great cards for their points and often amazing benefits. Would I use them for everyday spend? Not usually.

Citi AAdvantage Platinum Select MasterCard

I’m just trying to spread more airline points to other programs, so I got this card and met the minimum quickly. When I got this card it was 50,000 miles, as well as 2 lounge passes. My hunch is that may come back later on, which is better than the current offer.

  • Current Bonus: 
    • 30,000 miles after you make $1,000 in purchases within first 3 months
  • Benefits: Free checked bags, early boarding privileges, 2x the miles on AA purchases and 1x the miles for all other purchases.
  • Annual Fee: $95 is waived the first year.

 

UnitedMileage Plus Explorer

Again, this card is simply to earn more miles on other airlines without having to fly. The Star Alliance (which United is a partner) is great for short flights while traveling between countries abroad. I used 10,000 points to fly from Barcelona to Lisbon on TAP airlines last summer.

  • Current Bonus: 
    • 30,000 miles after you spend $3,000 in the first 3 months
    • 5,000 miles after you add an authorized user
  • Benefits: 2 lounge passes each year you have the card, free checked bag, priority boarding, , 2x the miles on United purchases and no foreign transaction fees. Plus, I think an undervalued benefit is your miles never expire while you have this card.
  • Annual Fee: $95 is waived the first year.

 

Citi Hilton HHonors Reserve

I got this for the $100 statement credit initially. I used it when I stayed at a DoubleTree in Lisbon, and it made my final price incredibly cheap per night. Plus, the immediate Gold Status with this card often means free breakfast and free internet. But the real beauty of this is the 2 weekend night certificates that you can use at any hotel in the Hilton portfolio.

Which basically means the hubster and I will be the odd kids out when we stay at some swanky hotel in South Beach this summer.

  • Current Bonus:
    • Two weekend night certificates plus a $100 statement credit after spending $2,500 in the first four months.
  • Benefits: Earn 10 HHonors points for every dollar spent on hotel stays, 5 points for every dollar spent on airline and car rental purchases and 3 points on every dollar for all other purchases. Automatic Hilton HHonors Gold status. No foreign transaction fees. 
  • Annual Fee: $95, not waived the first year.

 

IHG Rewards Club Select Credit Card

Quite simply, I got this card so we could stay at a nice(r) hotel on our last stop in Seoul, South Korea. After 2 weeks of traveling, I’m sure we’ll be happy put our feet in a jacuzzi tub and enjoy room service. I paid our rent with this card and in return it paid for our entire stay at the Intercontinental COEX while in Seoul. Beautiful, right?

  • Current Bonus:
    • 70,000 points after spending $1000 in the first three months.
  • Benefits: Earn 5 points per dollar spent at IHG hotels, 2 points at gas stations, grocery stores and resturants and 1 point on all other purchase. No foreign transaction fees. Platinum Elite Status.  Plus, an annual free night for each year you hold the card. 
  • Annual Fee: $49 is waived the first year.

 

Does this help at all? I know when I first started in the points game, the information was overwhelming. I’ve tried to break it down into bits that were the most useful information for me when I started.

Next, I’ll show you how once you have any of these cards, you can maximize your miles and points through shopping portals and rewards programs. Meaning, you can double dip with your cards.

That’s peanut butter and chocolate exciting!

Interested in more travel hacking posts?
Start here:
What is Travel Hacking?
The Basics of Earning Miles & Points

Remember When I Discovered The Internet?

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You guys, I just remembered I could watch workout videos online. No, I’m not joking. Yes, I am dial-up modem slow.

aol

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day:

The Best Free Workout Videos on YouTube

(Helloooo Billy Blanks and The Tae-Bo memories of college years. How do you think I got this soccer-mom-esque ass?)

So, that got me thinking about everything else that could be posted on this magical thing called the interwebs. My ab routine has been getting a bit stale lately. Basically I look like someone put an air pump up in my belly button and turned it on. I’m just stuck in the same ol’ routine in relation the the middle section.

I’ve really wanted to do these 2 awesome ab routines I used to do that were on Comcast On Demand. We have AT&T Uverse now because the condo association pays a portion of our bill.

Anywho, these videos are probably years old now. But when I did them regularly, I could see little baby abs come out. You know, the ones that pop through with the just the perfect light, so you go running to your then boyfriend (who actually married you) and yell proudly, “Look. LOOK. They DO exist!!”

I was so excited to see if these videos still existed that my fingers couldn’t type fast enough.

Could I dare find these videos on the…the…internet?!

YES! I had to share because these workouts are awesome, quick and now my abs are screaming at me.

Thank you internet, thank you.