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Not Your Average Gal

Not Your Average Gal

Copywriter. Content Creator. Constant Sassypants.

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Archives for March 2020

Always Wanted to Be a Superhero? Now’s Your Chance.

March 15, 2020 By Caroline Peterson

I vacillate between moments of heartwarming solidarity and then utter disbelief at such poor decisions being made that feel like gut punches.

I fully stand by previous statements I've made while traveling this wonderful world: Americans are some of the friendliest and kindest humans out there. 

It may be a bit harder to say today watching people fight over toilet paper or continue to go on bar crawls.

But I'll still say it. I may say it while gritting my teeth, but I'll continue to say it. I will, because you know what? We're better than that. 

COVID-19 has busted through our proverbial American front door. Truthfully, it was at our doorstep for a while. But we've watched comfortably from afar for far too long somehow thinking our borders were immune to it. I will not dive into the data that supports much more should have been done all along as it's fruitless now. It's here.

It's here and it feels personal.

You know what, screw that. It is personal.

I wave goodbye to my ER doctor husband each day from our large front window that fills the room with just enough sunshine, welcoming spring to come visit. I watch him pull away and I wonder when he'll get infected. 

His chances are higher than yours or mine.

I call my ICU nurse sister each day checking in. Her hopeful voice a reassuring comfort during this uncertain time. I hang up and wonder when she'll get infected.

Her chances are higher than yours or mine.

They may already have it. You and I may too. Collectively, we can slow the spread. No, this isn't to shit on your plans you've looked forward to for months. This is to allow the hospitals to have a fighting chance. In very basic terms, if everyone gets sick all at once, doctors will be faced with choosing lives; choosing whom gets one of the very limited ventilators, let alone beds to lay in. 

Listening to doctors and scientists is something we used to do. Can we reinstate that?

There are only 46,500 medical ICU beds in the US. That number alone does not lie, we all can’t get sick at once. Car wrecks, heart attacks, surgeries, baby deliveries; those all still happen during a pandemic.

This is very real and you not coping with temporary inconveniences puts loved ones lives at risk. Is that worth it to you?

How about your friend going through chemo? Your grandparent in a nursing home? Your parents! 

This is not about me, this is about we.

We, collectively. We, as Americans. 

Your minor, temporary inconvenience of staying home as much as you can is taking care of we, us, the group, fellow citizens, neighbors, as a whole.

I have hope. I have hope that as information spreads, people are educated and make the proper, collectively considerate decisions. 

No amount of hand sanitizer will save you when you're going out in groups, going out for elective fun, no matter how vigilant you are. You may not show symptoms for 5-11 days (or any at all) and are sharing it with others! You are testing the boundaries and saying your life and fun matters more.

Social distancing works. For those who need a visual, this is an incredible source to show how and why it's important to social distance.

One person in South Korea refused to be tested and instead went to church and a buffet lunch. One. She is the source for over 1,100 infections. No brunch or bar is worth being That Person.

Going out right now to have fun because you aren't scared is ignorance and an ugly display of elitism. 

YOU may not be affected by this, but the people you infect along with way may be. I don't know about you, but I would have a hard time knowing I contributed to a scenario that looks like this:

  • I don’t display symptoms and give it to my immunocompromised friend who now has to go to the hospital, which is already bursting at the seams. 
  • The hospitals get inundated with critically ill patients and doctors have to make decisions on who lives and dies.

This isn't a dress rehearsal. This isn't a snow day. This is life and death and you effectively have the chance to single handedly play a positive role in flattening the curve. Stay home as much as you can.

As my sister said, zero people want to have to be in a hospital for the next 30-60 days, whether that's for a broken leg or having a machine breathe for you. You do not want to be there in a petri-dish of infections and potential chaos.

I may joke that as a freelance writer and business owner, I’ve been training for this moment to stay at home for years.

When was the last time I showered? Have I worn these yoga pants for 2 or 15 days? Did I eat lunch?

In total honesty, this feels much different. It’s a choice I have to make for a situation I’m not (necessarily) in control of, rather than the benefit of being able to stay at home.

Social distancing is not a buzzword. It works. It protects you and the people you love.

Have those tough conversations. Ask family to FaceTime instead of coming over. Tell your parents they shouldn't be going out with friends for lunch. Your temporary uncomfortableness at those awkward talks will save lives. 

Think about that, for however brief a moment.

This is your chance to make the world a better place with one simple decision after another.

This is your chance to demonstrate that other people beyond your social circle matter.

This is your chance to save lives.

I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to be a superhero. 

Now's your chance.


As a side note, this isn’t the time to personally shame. This is a time to educate. If people don’t know, calmly explain and tell them. Do the best you can if your line of work doesn’t allow you to telecommute.

If you still know the risks, still see the data, still hear doctors and scientists talk about proven methods of slowing the spread and your choices today still mirror ones you made prior to this pandemic, then that is convenient ineptitude and ignorance.

Personal sacrifices I've made:

  • Told grandma I won't see her for at least 3 weeks
  • Canceled a girls night dinner
  • Postponed a baby shower we were hosting
  • Skipped a volunteer board meeting
  • Haven't gone to gym classes in a week, and won't for at least another 2-3 weeks (this one sucks big time guys, I get it.)
  • If this continues for months, we won't be able to have a party to celebrate my husband finishing residency. 13+ years of work and sacrifice … and it's a pill I'm willing to swallow for YOU. 

I hope you do the same for me.


Filed Under: Musings

Good for Her. Not for Me.

March 1, 2020 By Caroline Peterson

Scrolling through Facebook does it. Falling victim to the rabbit hole of Instagram does it too. Based on the highlight reel of life that is social media, you create a picture in your mind of exactly how someone else is living.

We know this picture isn’t accurate, right?

To solidify this fact, just know that I took 27 shots of me sipping on tea from our hotel room overlooking Yokohama Bay in Japan before I got one I thought I liked. Twenty-seven. Then I edited the one I chose! Of course, in typical Not Your Average Gal fashion, I mentioned these facts on the Instagram post to keep things real, you know, in case anyone was wondering how my life as a supermodel was going.

We see the seemingly picture-perfect life, pass judgement (or jealousy) and participate in talking about it, very often with other female friends.

“Did you see…so and so…?”

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself around when these conversations are happening and they aren’t typically kind ones. (And dare I say, sometimes I catch myself participating.)

I’ve been a victim of those unkind conversations too. Full-on jealousy and eye rolling at what’s going on in this life I choose. This life I work damn hard for. This life of mine and mine alone.

It’s that toxic bullshit gossip that continues the negative undercurrent of nasty competition amongst our fellow lady gangs.

But, in an effort to combat it and rally support, I have something to fight it! Something that I’ve used many times and has stopped the gossip in its tracks.

Good for her. Not for me.

Now I’d like to give credit where credit is due and thank my therapist or some motivational book or Brené Brown or probably a saying I pinned on Pinterest in a fit of rage, but I honestly can’t remember where I heard it. So, let’s just consider this one a thought that everyone should know in the world.

That disgusting diatribe of nit-picking another woman down to her core based off of other perceptions, your perceptions, other opinions, other life experiences is so…basic. Truly.

It takes so much wasted time and energy to think about how someone else is living their life, in a way you may never ever do, and cut it down to some negative Nancy, sarcastic Sally, cryptic Cathy way. Anyone who has any sense of self at all, anyone who is self-aware, anyone who is kind, can see right through that nastiness for exactly what it is: low self esteem (or a miserable life…).

When you take the onus off the difference between your version of life and someone else’s, it’s simply comes down to a preference. A preference to take a different path or choose a different paint color or—GASP—not get stainless steel appliances.

Good for her. Not for me.

What if that difference came in the form of support, rather than disdain or judgement?

So often the way another person lives their life literally has zero effect on you. Zero. (Well, aside from my younger brother who legit has never visited me, which means I’m stuck carrying around a stupid street sign he stole as a kid that he still wants, packing it from house to house and move to move until he comes to visit or pays for shipping. THAT choice directly affects me. Butthole.)

So, if the choices another person makes does not directly affect you, it boils down to your frivolous scrutiny as to whether it fits your standards and accordingly, then your judgement. What a way to live!

We could try being cool on for size though with how another women lives. Let’s go!

She wore a bikini and isn’t thin.

Good for her. Not for me.

She posted another picture of her dog dressed up in a holiday sweater.

Good for her. Not for me.

Everyone in her family is wearing the same exact outfit for family portraits.

Good for her. Not for me.

She let her kid get the laser background in school pictures.

Good for her. Not for me. (Side note: I was SO JELLY TOAST of the kids that got the laser backgrounds in school pics.)

She doesn’t prioritize dating.

Good for her. Not for me.

She wore navy pants and a black sweater.

Good for her. Not for me.

She’s at another rally supporting a cause I don’t care about.

Good for her. Not for me.

She chose to freeze her eggs and focus on her career.

Good for her. Not for me.

She chose to delay having kids.

Good for her. Not for me.

She has an army of children.

Good for her. Not for me.

She loves Kate Spade handbags.

Good for her. Not for me.

Her house is cleaned by a cleaning company.

Good for her. Not for me.

Her husband travels for half of the month.

Good for her. Not for me.

She’s perfectly happy living in her hometown for the rest of her life.

Good for her. Not for me.

She didn’t register for her wedding.

Good for her. Not for me.

She didn’t want a bridal shower.

Good for her. Not for me.

Her kids are all named after produce.

Good for her. Not for me.

<breathe>

That was amazing! Can you imagine how liberating it will be to spend your time worrying about your (own damn) self?

I want this to be a rally-cry of sorts. One of undying support for women and the lives they live.

I want this to be so ingrained in our minds that it’s our first reaction when someone watches Hallmark Christmas movies pantsless, with a half-eaten bag of tortilla chips by her side, guacamole crusted to her lips and zit cream on her face. (Or so I hear…)

Good for her. Not for me.

Filed Under: Travel

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