Whether we want to admit it or not–whether social media wants to portray it or not–we’ve all got our fair share of problems. We all have our own way of coping or completely ignoring the problem hoping beyond all hope that it will just go back to it’s dark cavern only to come out around the Thanksgiving table so we can all get some damn good entertainment around here!
It’s the little things, guys and gals.
This isn’t some bullshit guide into the ins and outs of self-care, which very often doesn’t involve bubble baths and a glass of wine, but does look very much like just washing your face and journaling 5 stupid things you’re grateful for, even if it’s that your cat successfully avoided vomiting on the carpet and aimed for the bathroom tile.
Hashtag living my best life.
We may not have the ability to change the hand of cards dealt to us, but we do have the power–and the God damn say!–on how we play the next card. This is an experienced take on how we can make things worse. From a gal who has done it all! Follow these steps to make sure you’re fully embracing making the problem worse.
1) Think about it. All the time.
Spend a majority of your time thinking about how you could have done it better or differently. Try to change things that have already happened. Now think about this while you’re trying to go to sleep. In fact, think about that time you stumbled over your words to your former boss who probably can’t even remember your name. Think about it until you call in the Melatonin troops around 3am.
2) Surround yourself with no one.
Now that I’m my own boss (and I get to sit around and count my millions, a la Scrooge McDuck), I often don’t speak to anyone until the afternoon, when the doctor hubster gets up and does his best impression of a zombie, lumbering down the stairs, mumbling incoherently while making his way to the bathroom.
Be sure not to get out of the house when you’re feeling lonely or reach out to friends for a quick 10-minute call. Don’t go on a walk to enjoy the fresh air and think through things. Cocooning yourself in your home is ideal.
3) Confide in people who don’t have an empathetic bone in their body.
“It could always be worse.”
“You should be grateful for what you have.”
4) Ignore it, entirely.
Another amazing tactic is denial. Just sweep it under the rug and pretend it isn’t there. It will go away. It will rear it’s head another day and maybe then it will be a bigger problem, but you’ll have the ability to cope better by then because you’re isolating yourself, right?
5) Embrace you are the only person to ever deal with this.
Family problems? Friendship problems? Martial problems? Work problems? In-law problems? You probably are the only person who has them. You should also tell yourself this when scrolling through a carefully curated Instagram feed.
BONUS) Eat those 2-week-old leftovers from that Mexican restaurant.
So what if the enchiladas could sing your name and teach you how to count in Spanish at this point. Go for it!
It may not seem like it in a social media driven world, but we’re all go through stuff. Heaping piles of stuff. (Think of that giant pile of shit from Jurassic Park.) Yours may look different than his or hers, but it’s still a pile of annoying problems.
There are ways of coping; healthy, wonderful, productive away of coping. So take heed and don’t do what’s listed above. Find your people. Go on a walk. Talk to your friends. Talk to your therapist. Know you aren’t alone. We’re in this crap together. So here’s to you, the power-through-it-ers. You’ve got this.
Rae Targos says
Guilty of #1. Experienced #3 early last year and it drove.me.insane.
Caroline Peterson says
THE WORST! “Eeeehhhh, that’s not so bad! Now, listen to how bad it can be…”