I’m the worst when it comes to buckling down and getting something done that requires a bit of peace and quiet. I get caught up in the minutiae. My desk must be clean. Paperwork and bills cleared off and filed accordingly. (I was like this in college too.Â You knew I had an upcoming exam because my room was spotless.)
The right music must be playing, but which station? Classical today or Top 40? When I get a glass of
tequilaÂ water to accompany me, I notice that the Brita needs refilling, and that’s where I see there’s some dishes that need to be put away and 2.75 hours later, I’ll sit down to write, only to stare at the screen in self doubt.
This isn’t good enough. No one will identify with it. I need better photos before I post this garbage. God, how does so-and-so get so may posts out per week that looks so damn perfect!?
Then, avoiding the thought of imperfection, I peruse over to Facebook. Just for a minute, I say!
And we all know NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WHEN YOU JUMP DOWN THE FACEBOOK RABBIT HOLE.
It’s like I wait for a reset button that never comes, to put my anxiety at ease and allow me to just hop into my task at hand, without judgement or the limits that I set for myself. It’s only me too! I’m my worst critic. Aren’t we all? The Hubster is so flippin’ supportive with my website and freelance work that he just stares in disbelief as I list off the 18 bajillion things that should be done before I take care of my passions or hobbies.
Well, I’m not waiting for the damn reset button anymore. All the details? They are just noise.
In fact, I wasn’t totally prepared to write this here very post. I’m listening to a dance station that was on while I was working out and isn’t particularly great to listen to while writing. My hair is still wet from my shower and the glass next to me has water in it, not wine. Sacrilege!Â
It’s taken me about 15 minutes to write this much and yet, had I listened to the “other list” of things that needed to be taken care of first, I would have spent time on those things but thinking the whole time about how I should be writing and that writing a blog is time consuming. Hint: IT IS. But not when done in small bits, or not pushing it off until it’s overwhelming. Prioritizing aspects of my lifeÂ that are integralÂ for making my goals come true is crucial. This site is one of them.
I’ve been waking up earlier each day to focus on the things that bring me peace and contentment and have developed a bit of schedule, including this website. I’m working on upcoming content, and truth be told, going through the blog post ideas I’ve had on my phone for years, that somehow always got lost in the details.
Do you ever struggle with the details?Â